Craigslist laughs

[dwasifar]

Northern Maine. Old barns are as common as flies on a cows ass.

At first glance I misread that as "crow's ass."

 

[tla100]

3 foot diameter - 45 foot tall Silver Maple Tree for Sculpture

image 2 of 3

© craigslist - Map data © OpenStreetMap
(google map)

This is a mature, growing, 45 foot tall silver maple tree with a trunk diameter of over 3 feet that is approximately 45 feet tall. The silver maple lumber; which may be dried and then used for fine furniture making; is approximately 2 tons. The enormous truck with a girth of over 2 meters may be used for interpretive sculpture using either a chainsaw; a chisel; or, the now famous brindeling techniques.

 

[coog]

OMG.

 

[67L36Driver]

I'll remove trees
http://kansascity.craigslist.org/zip/6010514334.html

via cPro for Craigslist
iOS: http://tinyurl.com/cPro-iDevice
Android: http://tinyurl.com/CL-Android

 

[reddogrunner]

https://zanesville.craigslist.org/grd/6015505415.html

Sounds like someone needs to pay a tree service bill. LOL

 

[Philbert]

https://zanesville.craigslist.org/grd/6015505415.html

Sounds like someone needs to pay a tree service bill. LOL

"Cut Firewood For Sale - $550 (Zanesville)
image 1 of 4

Red oak, white oak, black locust, cherry, and hickory. Easy access. 550 for all, you load and haul."


(If you don't post the text - it may be gone before others read it - thanks.)

Philbert

 

[Philbert]

I'll remove trees
http://kansascity.craigslist.org/zip/6010514334.html

"I'll remove trees (Overland Park)

I have a 10" chainsaw, so there's a limit to what I can do. Pls send pics of the trees you want removed, and provide a contact number so we can arrange pickup. Glad to travel farther for elderly and handicapped. Thx."

Philbert

 

[TeeMan]

 

[Mac&Homelite]

Oh man, these ads are a riot. It's pretty funny scrolling through cl and seeing people want to be paid so you can remove an ugly black walnut or wanting $100 for a crooked 6''x7' cherry log. People never cease to amaze. They all think they have a gold mine in their backyard, when in reality it's the other way around.

 

[HadleyPA]

This one sounds like it could be a good deal but too far away to be worthwhile for me. Says they are cutting down tree you just take the wood.

https://youngstown.craigslist.org/zip/6024262996.html

 

[tnflatbed]

I should of posted one up here I saw about a month back locally, it was a big leaner hanging over property that was free for firewood, but must be licensed, insured, bonded yada yada. Yeah right, if you got the credentials Im sure you are just itching to find free firewood!

 

[Jakers]

I had one like that the other day. Local guy called me asking if I would take down two big oak trees for him free of charge. He said he would let me keep the wood as long as I cleaned up the brush too.... yeah, right!!! Wow calls a licensed, insured tree service for something like that. I never bothered to call him back

 

[unclemoustache]

This is an actual, currently active Craigslist ad for a piccolo. Comedy worth reading, musician or not.

"They call the trumpet "God's Instrument." The instrument that takes a month to learn and a lifetime to master. Forget that. I'm giving you the chance to own "Satan's Instrument." The instrument that takes a second to hate and a lifetime to get used to. If your goal is world domination, getting the ball rolling on the apocalypse, or simply disarming someone who's a little too "rapey," this miniature flute of terror will hold the game down. And how:

Brought to you by Lucifer himself, this Bundy bpc-300 Piccolo will serve his evil minion well. From it's compact arthritis-inducing body this pipe will unleash a sound that can bring entire crowds of people to their knees in pain and surrender. If you're thinking of starting a bloody coup, leave the AK-47s and sarin gas at home son, this picc is all you need.

This instrument has the ability to sing an A five lines above the staff so crisp and clear that if you're not careful may actually cleave your conductor's brain clean in half. It's highest note is one only dogs can hear, that composers have dubbed "X."

Apart from the oboe, this is the only instrument able to kick a field goal of pain right between the goal posts of your unfortunate target's neurons, resulting in synaptic misfires, blown mental fuses, and a complete breakdown of all left brain activity, leaving the right brain to writhe in pain and confusion whilst scrambling all bodily motor functions. Any soul unlucky enough to wind up on the business end of Beezulbub's piccolo will instantly be reduced to the fetal position and revoked of their right to free will.

Aside from violating several Geneva Convention protocols, this wailing weaponry can produce frequencies that wreak havoc upon others by causing:
-- sudden unexpected nosebleeds
-- aphasia
-- heart palpitations
-- aneurisms
-- loss of sanity
-- unexplainable rage
-- spontaneous combustion
-- abandonment of the will to live
-- anal leakage

It's a common mistake to think that the piccolo also has side effects on it's user. Many claim it causes acute narcissism, but in reality the only people drawn to this instrument are already delusionally narcissistic, have serial killer tendencies, and show traits as promising future dictators.

Since I'm livin' the dream, I'm retiring from my reign of terror and passing on the torch. Being evil is an arduous, exhaustive effort, and this musical scepter cannot be played by your average whitebread vanilla villain. Only the most cunning, dextrous, morally ambiguous, and questionably sane may apply. Who among you is worthy?

-200 OBO Pickup in Redmond "

https://seattle.craigslist.org/see/msg/6020148036.html

 

[tnflatbed]

current ad in Knoxville TN, not firewood related but wow this is crazy

 

[farmer steve]

i know there's a bunch of you guys that love to loan out your chainsaws.
https://harrisburg.craigslist.org/wan/6012621796.html

 

[ncpete]

i know there's a bunch of you guys that love to loan out your chainsaws.
https://harrisburg.craigslist.org/wan/6012621796.html

let's add the image of this ad:

 

[muddstopper]

let's add the image of this ad: View attachment 565524

If that tree was local and since I like free scrounge. I would buck it myself and load it, as long as i didnt have to take the brush. I doubt the 2 or 3 cord claim, and I wouldnt loan him my saw.

 

[svk]

Yup, no way that tree is 2-3 cords but is an easy scrounge nonetheless.

 

[LoveStihlQuality]

I've never seen a twin screw "P" bread van. Normally they are only 10-14k GVWR

Maybe means 2 spd axle b with hi lo

Sent from my SM-N900P using Tapatalk

 

[LoveStihlQuality]

i know there's a bunch of you guys that love to loan out your chainsaws.
https://harrisburg.craigslist.org/wan/6012621796.html

Maybe he borrow your wife at the same time. Only saw I'll loan is an MS 250 I got cheap. Will handle most of what they have. I send a couple cans of Trufuel

Sent from my SM-N900P using Tapatalk