Teach me everything you know about chainsaws

[HuskStihl]

Hi guys! I'm in the process of writing a screenplay called "chainsaws". It's like the movie Cars
but with friendly animated chainsaws. Can anybody tell me anything about chainsaws? Specifically, what parts do they have? Are there different kinds? Please tell me they don't run on gasoline, that would ruin the story.
Thanks!

 

[Bmezz88]

Why does this thread sound familiar?

 

[northmanlogging]

they run on decomposed Bambi blood and unicorn sperm... thought you new that already?

 

[GrassGuerilla]

they run on decomposed Bambi blood and unicorn sperm... thought you new that already?

Well ****... No wonder I'm having so much trouble getting mine to run right?

 

[northmanlogging]

gotta run that Uni SP mix just perfect... like 40-1 or 50-1

And make sure to get the good Bambi blood... not of that diluted heathanol stuff...

 

[slowp]

They are designed by dinosauric engineers who should have invented a quiet chainsaw by now. That way, they might could be sneaked into the sacred wilderness areas to cut open the sacred wildernessy trails.

 

[gary courtney]

i can't believe you think you can just come on the internet and learn this. you need to go into donut shops and pawn shops and inter mingle with people who talk about saws. this is half arsed.

 

[HuskStihl]

They are designed by dinosauric engineers who should have invented a quiet chainsaw by now. That way, they might could be sneaked into the sacred wilderness areas to cut open the sacred wildernessy trails.

Wait a minute, are you saying chainsaws are loud?!? Maybe my screenplay should be about leaf blowers instead. Can you tell me all about leaf blowers?

 

[KiwiBro]

HuskStihl and the amazing techno-ported dreamsaw.

 

[GrassGuerilla]

I know ported saws are a fad. All the screws just fall out of Husqvarna saws. Stihl air filters suck, but 362's are awesome. Oh yeah, apparently people that buy 562's don't know how to start them when hot.

Edit: I read it all on the interwebs, so it must be true.

 

[northmanlogging]

Wait a minute, are you saying chainsaws are loud?!? Maybe my screenplay should be about leaf blowers instead. Can you tell me all about leaf blowers?

one, two, ah, ah, ah, leaf blowers
100 bottles of beer
and a bar stool

Drink 73 bottles of said beer, use friends for help
face leaf blower in same direction but hold one in each hand,
Sit comfortably on bar stool
Have strong "handsome" wife start leaf blowers for you
Hold throttle wide open
Lift feet
Try to
A: stay upright and in seat
B: not vomit

Repeat as necessary

use remaining 27 bottles of beer to sooth hangover and bruises in morning.

 

[northmanlogging]

I know ported saws are a fad. All the screws just fall out of Husqvarna saws. Stihl air filters suck, but 362's are awesome. Oh yeah, apparently people that buy 562's don't know how to start them when hot.

Edit: I read it all on the interwebs, so it must be true.

Um... the screws do fall out of huskys... the rest well that's just a matter of opinion, except ported saws, totally a fad that should have died with IEL...

 

[HuskStihl]

I heard a 362 with the HD2 filter, and square chisel chain, filed to factory angles, is the bestest thing evah

 

[Backyard Lumberjack]

 

[Gugi47]

Hi guys! I'm in the process of writing a screenplay called "chainsaws". It's like the movie Cars
but with friendly animated chainsaws. Can anybody tell me anything about chainsaws? Specifically, what parts do they have? Are there different kinds? Please tell me they don't run on gasoline, that would ruin the story.
Thanks!

I post here many, many ifo for you:
http://www.arboristsite.com/community/forums/joke-and-funny-picture-forum.60/

 

[bitzer]

The dangerous end is the side that looks like bicycle chain. Also columbian drug dealers use them to cut limbs off of Cuban refugees. That is if they can start their saw. Usually it ends in a hostile drug lord take over with mountains of cocaine being snorted and saying hello to little friends.

 

[HuskStihl]

The dangerous end is the side that looks like bicycle chain. Also columbian drug dealers use them to cut limbs off of Cuban refugees. That is if they can start their saw. Usually it ends in a hostile drug lord take over with mountains of cocaine being snorted and saying hello to little friends.

WTF! Please don't tell me chainsaws also lead to ridiculous overacting!
If a chainsaw doesn't start, does that mean it's inner child is wounded?

 

[GilksTreeFelling]

WTF! Please don't tell me chainsaws also lead to ridiculous overacting!
If a chainsaw doesn't start, does that mean it's inner child is wounded?

Naw just means you need to massage it's handle a bit and whisper words of persuasion to it some

 

[Trx250r180]

WTF! Please don't tell me chainsaws also lead to ridiculous overacting!
If a chainsaw doesn't start, does that mean it's inner child is wounded?

You will need your wife to start the saws ,i thought everyone knew that .

 

[KiwiBro]

your wife to start the saws

Shirley you aren't calling his wife easy, as in easystart™?