Advice on logging my 800 acres

[madhatte]

didn't you guys learn anything from Biggie and Tupac?

Crap. I was tryin' to figure out how to crack that joke.

 

[hammerlogging]

Don't forget, you need an old guy to ride around in a pickup. One with lots of antennas on it. His job is to lay out the job, set the strips, keep everything moving, snarl at everybody, and complain that the job is losing money. He might tell you if you're doing something right...but don't count on it.

Speaking of which...time to head up the hill.

Where do I apply?

 

[madhatte]

I gotta learn to snarl. Mostly I can't keep a straight face.

 

[RandyMac]

Ya gotta get a 45 pound chainsaw, then add 72 inches of bar on it. Do you have a rattle trap, rust bucket mid '60s pick-up? It is a must have.

 

[bitzer]

Dunno, my mom said we were part Scandihoovian. So I guess we were cigarettes. Go figure.

Do you have a large amount, and many colors of flagging to hang all over the unit in a confusing manner?
You'll need to paint the trees too. Put lots of paint on some, and then really skimp on other trees. Make sure to overspray a lot, that helps confuse things more.

Then hire colorblind fallers.

Yeah I keep a book on the history of WI in the can. I will have to go back and see what that slang was all about. I thought it was funny because the only time I'd ever seen it written like that was from your posts. Also different colors will be used for seperate species. The money trees get a gold dollar symbol.



I'm pretty sure there will be half of a 250 gallon old diesel tank to burn stuff in. The old guys should be able to hang out there.

 

[bitzer]

Ya gotta get a 45 pound chainsaw, then add 72 inches of bar on it. Do you have a rattle trap, rust bucket mid '60s pick-up? It is a must have.

Regarding the truck- there is one, but the ass end is up on blocks. The tires were burned off, but the rims are still good. There is a 4" wide continous tow strap that turns the spit over the big diesel fire. Just in case anything needs roastin.

 

[bitzer]

I gotta learn to snarl. Mostly I can't keep a straight face.

Just think of Janet Reno naked. Works every time.

 

[Gologit]

Where do I apply?

Sorry, kid...we already have somebody to do that. And there's a guy from the upper left corner of California who's next in line for the job. Check back with us, though.

 

[Gologit]

Just think of Janet Reno naked. Works every time.

Well, there goes my appetite for breakfast.

 

[RedArrow]

Funny thread guys, I love it!

 

[parttime]

Funny thread guys, I love it!

Funny? I was witin all this down for later use. dayum

 

[bitzer]

Well, there goes my appetite for breakfast.

Yeah, at least Randy didn't lend you the visual. I damn near choked I stated laughing so hard.

 

[RandyMac]

I guess we should warn Nate.

 

[Samlock]

Sorry, kid...we already have somebody to do that. And there's a guy from the upper left corner of California who's next in line for the job. Check back with us, though.

That'd sound terrific: "Gentlemen, our new foreman is occupied at the moment, but he'll start as soon as he gets out of the prison..."

 

[hammerlogging]

he only wants to do the snarling part though.

 

[RandyMac]

I wonder if Nate got his eyesight back yet?

 

[iceaxe]

You should get a forestry consultant to plan replanting. You may need to get rid of the stumps. I hardly see stumps in replanted forests except for those big hundred year old stumps.

 

[RandyMac]

Dammit Bitz, you know dogs are no good for skidding. What you want is a couple dozen alley cats all pissed-off and harnessed up. They'll wind each other up enough that your biggest job will be roundin' 'em all up for the next turn.

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here through Thursday.

cowboys herding cats - YouTube

 

[RandyMac]

he only wants to do the snarling part though.

Never have to raise my voice, I got the glare down.

 

[slowp]

We call it "The Stink Eye".