Neighbors that borrow stuff.

[whatscooking]

I was raised what some would call poor, no frills you might say. My first bicycle I pulled from a junk pile fixed it up and made do with that. Waste not want not. I have worked for everything I have. No big deal but I have learned to take care of my stuff so it will last. I worked as a mechanic for a number of years and have accumulated what I figured I needed before I retired.
Now that I have retired and don't have the money coming in like I did the nice things I do have will not be abused. With all this being said when I first retired and being a mechanic I would help neighbors out and felt good about it. Funny thing happened it quickly turned into a one way affair. Total rebuild of brakes on a truck turned into, the dealership replaced the intake twice and it is leaking again can you fix that and the brake lines are rusted away can you fix that too, my tractor needs the pto clutch replaced, my chainsaw wont run and on and on, they all feel like I can bring my magic wand over and fix anything\everything for them and honestly I barley get a thank you. All the while I had things I WANTED TO DO FOR MYSELF but never seemed to get ANY help from them.
Now I have another neighbor that flagged me down yesterday and wanted me to bring over my tractor and loader and move something that I think will overload what I can lift and he wanted me to do it right then and there. After he says he has another buddy with a backhoe I say that I do not want to do this, more than I can lift safely and I will not tear my stuff up. I get the, he can't get here for a few days with the backhoe so I say sweep the welding rods and other things out of the way so I don't get a flat and move the mess out of your yard so I can get into where I need to go and I will be here in the morning. I could see the anger\disgust in his face, says he will go see his buddy I say good.

 

[blades]

Nothing new along these lines. Seems to be more of SOP for a lot of people. Even in my business I run into this sort of thing and no longer go out of my way for most. On the other hand had a good friend bring something in that ended up burning most of a day to resolve. I have no regrets on this though. There have been others ( pikers ) I got a long memory- well for the most part anyway.

 

[Ironworker]

We have a neighbor that's always asking for stuff and we don't mind helping till one night we came home and found him in the backyard helping himself to the firewood. So I let him know that he can't do that unless I'm around, he got a little offended but that ain't my problem, on a good note they haven't asked for anything since. Don't be afraid to say no.

 

[jasult]

I hear ya and I sure have the same problems. I have learned in all my years that I can figure out how to do anything that I want and will learn how if not sure but why do so many people take advantage? Because we let them We just need to say NO! I could go on for pages about this but I will stop here

 

[firebrick43]

I have a neighbor that has become more like a father to me and I help him all the time. Fix his cars and truck, well, work on the house, ect. He feels bad thinking he takes advantage of me. However he is there at the drop of a hat when I do need him without question or delay, is a good friend and his wife(like a mother) aways has pie! He still worries about owing me and I just tell him when I am 72 maybe karma will deliver a helping hand to do the same for me.

On the other hand the other neighbor is as you described. They went as far as trying to tell the good neighbors kids that I might be taking advantage of him(which I hear they just laughed, as we are friends to) only because we assume that after I tore up a bushhog mower while helping them(ran over a broken off fence post, no offer to help fix, the a couple weeks later when they asked me to finish the damn post was still laying there) he realized the fleecing he was getting in unreturned and lost tools and stopped lending them out as well

 

[flotek]

It's like owning a pickup ( they all want you to move/haul stuff for them )or a saw ( they want their firewood cut for free) everyone thinks you will drop everything and do their responsibilities regardless of if you have your own stuff going on . I have learned it is a two fold problem
1. People will take advantage of those who show a willingness and full capability to help them out .Your employer will do this same thing to you just as your neighbors do . Pile on the work cuz they know you can and will get it done and make their life easier .

2. It's hard to say no .lets face it someone in need especially a family or friend makes it hard to refuse the task . People who are needy know this and expect you to drop everything and do it out of pity and obligation. They recognize you have a kind heart and won't turn them away .

. The bottom line is you gotta learn to say * no . You need to make it known you have your own responsibilities and obligations that come first before . And if you don't want your equipment beat or have the money to replace it then say that .its the only hint some people get . Tell them straight up and end the cycle or they will just keep taking advantage of you

 

[flotek]

You can usually tell when someone is about ready to ask you to do their chores or borrow your expensive stuff by key phrases and questions that they bring up first . Some examples are

1: hey old buddy what do you have going on this Saturday morning

2: hey how's that log splitter working . Is it still splitting good

3: will your truck haul a lot of wood is it running okay

4 how is your back how are you at removing refrigerators

5 hey I got a little project over here that probably would take only two guys only 10 minutes to do

 

[jasult]

just say no. My good friendly neighbor wore out his welcome when after years of my doing his repairs on truck for free and fixing things on his house he offered me a box ticket for major league base ball game for 250.00 after some other friend of his backed out and he needed a fill in

 

[greenskeeper]

you have to find the line between helping others and letting them take advantage of you.

 

[whatscooking]

I had another neighbor blurt out, while I was helping him with something, if I can get it for free why should pay for it. Bad move on his part.

 

[jasult]

I had another neighbor blurt out, while I was helping him with something, if I can get it for free why should pay for it. Bad move on his part.

you just can't fix stupid. I was in a trench installing a drain pipe for free and neighbor said to save my money up as the box tickets are available again.
He did not understand I was never going with him. We are both in our 60's

 

[bowtechmadman]

I'm rather lucky I guess. I have a great neighbor for the past 18yrs. I do a great deal of work with my tractor around her small horse farm. I'm always welcome to hunt their 40 acres, cut wood on the same 40 and their children house/pet sit for us a great deal. I'm the first call when equipment breaks since her husband isn't very mechanically inclined. The best part is neither of us would ever consider bringing up money it's just friendly exhange of services etc...
Good neighbors are surely a blessing!

 

[Dogsout]

5 years ago I had a neighbor right across the road that cooked and sold meth for a living. He never had to ask to barrow anything because he had every toy in the book. (Much better job then me!) I GUESS I should feel grateful he wasn't one of the before mentioned mooch neighbors.

 

[djones]

As a retired mechanic, I used to get asked for break jobs, tune ups, tire repair/swap etc. My response has always been, "I retired from that work to do my own work but I will give you free advise", people soon enough learn to stop asking. I don't offer my services and have taught my wife not to offer my services. Once your neighbors and friends know you'll work for free or cheap they will continue to take advantage of you and your life is once again not your own. My neighbor is one of those guys that offers his help all the time to anyone with a sob story to the point that he is seldom home after work anymore. I admit I have asked for his help but I have given my help in return plus many dinners, pool use and a few cases of brew. As long as it goes both ways I don't mind once in a while.

 

[Rockarosa]

I know what you are talking about. I cut and split my neighbors firewood the last 3 years because he is 75 years old. I am 62 years old. His son lives next door on land his dad gave him. He is half my age and twice my size and won't lift a finger to help his parents out. I don't know if anyone here has put in a 100 foot roll of underground Thermopex in. My wife and I struggled and about pulled our guts out while the 32 year old boy rode up and down the road in his UTV. I just realized that there's a fine line between being a good neighbor or being a fool. At my age I've decided to work on my own projects.

 

[bowtechmadman]

I'm one of the lucky one's that can attest to what kinda job rolling 100' roll of thermopex out is. Thankfully, my father and the neighbor were more than happy to give me a hand. My wife would have divorced me for sure if she would have had to of helped. Kudo's to your bride!!

 

[Rockarosa]

I'm one of the lucky one's that can attest to what kinda job rolling 100' roll of thermopex out is. Thankfully, my father and the neighbor were more than happy to give me a hand. My wife would have divorced me for sure if she would have had to of helped. Kudo's to your bride!![/QUOW
Yes, she is a lot of help. We just got married 2 years ago after seeing each other for 3 years. Some days I wonder how I got along without her.

 

[muddstopper]

I guess I am just slower than most people. It took me a while to learn to just say no. I have always worked on the rod. Away from home all week. only home on weekends. It always seemed that when I was home, everybody, including their brother,( and mine). would be asking me to help them with some little project. Now when they come up and ask what I am doing this weekend, I automaticly reply with a list of things I have to get done, mind coming over and giving me a hand. Naw, they tell me what they had planned (for me), and then go look for someone else to do their work for them. Just this wk, I have been on vacation. Buddy, who didnt know i was off this week, I go out of my way to never let him know when I'm off work), until he saw me in town, calls me up wanting some welding done. He had bought a truck to haul wood on, but it didnt have a bed. Wanted to bring it over and let me fab up a bed and head protector, like it would just be a 30 min job. Yea, right. Told him I was building a firewood processor and my shop was full and I probably couldnt get to it until the processor build is done. His reply, cant we just move the processor out of the way, I really need my truck fixed. Man, he just doesnt get it. Building a truck bed isnt a 30min job, and I dont have time to fool with it. Worse yet, expecting me to just drop what I was doing and help him out. I told him to come over and start grinding bevels on my plates, the sooner I get done with the processor, the sooner I could work on his truck. He didnt have time to do that, so I dont have time to fix his truck.

 

[066blaster]

I always have had a truck and big trailer. Every time a friend or family member moved I was asked to help move/ haul. I don't mind the hauling, but I'm not helping move there countless boxes of junk from their basement. And every time I move everyone one seems to be busy and can't help. And I always like how they slip you a 20 dollar bill , when you have spent 40 on gas and 2 days of work. I hate moving my own things why would I want to move your junk!! Oh and my mother in law likes to buy large furniture and appliances off cl and then call me and tell what time I need to go pick up, without even asking me.

 

[Swamp Yankee]

Good neighbors are surely a blessing!

Amen to that.

Take Care