anger

[TheBrushSlasher]

About 2 years ago I was laid off, my company was reducing headcount. I was let go because of one particular fat-assed, back-stabbing supervisor that protected her female friends. I had managers and directors coming up and telling me it was BS but nothing they could do. For 2 years I've been waiting to hear that this person choked on a ham bone or spontaneously combusted and burned for 3 days straight from the fat content. Just as angry today as I was 2 years ago.

I hear ya though brother, keep your head up and come out the winner.

Back in 2013 I had to reinterview with our maintenance chief for my job because I was seasonal at the time, my interview wasn't great because I had some home issues and was put on the not hired list even though the other person on the interview panel thought I did fine, word got to a co-worker friend who's fishing buddies with our district superintendent and he made a call but before that he told her your stupid ass isn't going rehire the only guy in the last 8 years who shows up early everyday, works overtime, and is willing to drive the porta potty truck (what the chief told me) truck. And it her damn fault I even had to reinterview because she didn't submit my paperwork for actual time worked. She was forced to hire me permanently in 2016.

 

[TNTreeHugger]

About 2 years ago I was laid off, my company was reducing headcount. I was let go because of one particular fat-assed, back-stabbing supervisor that protected her female friends. I had managers and directors coming up and telling me it was BS but nothing they could do. For 2 years I've been waiting to hear that this person choked on a ham bone or spontaneously combusted and burned for 3 days straight from the fat content. Just as angry today as I was 2 years ago.

I hear ya though brother, keep your head up and come out the winner.

Lol... creative revenge fantasy.... but, as much as you feel someone may deserve it, not a good idea to wish harm on another - Karma's a mother f'ker.
I do believe in what goes around comes around, it's best to let Nature take it's course, and not add any negativity to yourself.
Co-worker in my office has been on lwop for four months. But, rather than me wish something bad for him, that they fire his ass, I say, "I hope he finds a better job somewhere else." And I really mean that.

Also, learn the fine art of sarcasm...
I found out a customer was talking about me on social media after I had tried to help him out with an issue. It burned me up.
But the next time he came in (similar issue) I said, "I want to thank you for talking about me on your FB page - it was a good reminder that I need to be less helpful and more professional." The jerk actually said, "You're welcome" and gave me a wink. Then I got my boss to deal with him. Maybe he'll get it, maybe he won't, but I got my "revenge."

 

[Bwildered]

View attachment 885653

Join the club.

Don't worry or despair. It all comes out in your favor in time.

My old girlfriend died earlier this month. She drove me batshit crazy and stalked me for 30 years. Made me the rotten assshole that I am today. She's dead now. I win.

Lifelong friend turned against me at work. Haven't spoken to him for 5 years by choice, some of it for fear he's turn me in for harassment. Would like nothing more than to see him dead. He's decided to go for a new job where he actually needs to perform and WILL fail. He was protected here but no more. Everyone knows he's a loser and now he's going to be exposed. I win.

Don't despair. It all comes around. In the meantime, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Know their every move and use it to your advantage.

You WILL win.

One day you might look within & find where most of life’s problems originate from.

 

[square1]

You're going to continue being angry until you accept that others, and even you yourself are flawed...and the only one you can enact meaningful change in is yourself.

 

[capetrees]

You're going to continue being angry until you accept that others, and even you yourself are flawed...and the only one you can enact meaningful change in is yourself.

bringing politics into this isn't helping anyone.

you should be banned for political content

 

[PA. Woodsman]

Thank you, Im glad to hear about your new job and finding happiness. There's another forum I occasionally drop in on for bass guitar players (I dabble, I ain't no Les Claypool). There was a fellow about 65 that was laid off, couldn't find work, selling his stuff, and was just giving up on life. Dont know whatever happened but it was tough to read how bad the guy was doing, even though everyone was trying to help.
The frustration comment is thought-provoking, in a way anger and frustration are almost mutually inclusive. I think you can be angry without being frustrated though. For example, I have one particular ex that I've been split up with for 15 years, If she was on fire I wouldn't piss on her to put her out, but Id piss on her grave. I think that's anger.

I'm sad to hear about that guy that you described, I know some others also in their 60's like me that can't find anything right now. I had a thread on here awhile ago about collecting partial unemployment while I was laid off while working part time and a younger guy on here was saying that I should "man up" and do whatever it took to get off of it which I did, but sometimes people don't put themselves in other people's situations and if they did would realize it isn't that easy to just get something else at an older age and also to be hit with the mental aspects of a pandemic is much more than just being laid off, but I found something thank God and built it up and hopefully this guy does too. Who ever would've thought that we would experience something like this in our lives?

But it sounds like the bad relationships and job issues are at the root of this issue for you; I'm no doctor but it seems they are a current theme in this thread, but how you go about letting that go is the hard part but at least part of the answer. Find a good woman or a better job? A side job or an outlet like you are saying? And again living under this mental jail that we are in being bombarded with Covid this and that and doom and gloom doesn't help anyone, it's like a dark cloud hanging around all day.

But it is hard to let go, I know. Years ago where I worked at my shipping job that I was laid off from they made the mistake of "promoting" this woman to the job of warehouse "supervisor" even though as I told her we knew what we were doing and didn't need a supervisor. At first she was okay, but then as the years went on she became absolutely miserable to work with, another woman there said that she liked to "play God" as she tried to run everyone's lives and deny people time off and not work just oversee what others were doing and things like that, just absolutely miserable. She wasn't interested in working WITH people, she thought if she was the "boss" people would have to listen to her and respect her, but as this same woman said "respect is earned" not made by having people fear you to get it. Her people skills were bad, and it turns out that her marriage wasn't that great, she told me about her husband being interested in another woman at his work but seeing how our lives at work were we could only imagine how his home life was too, but it turned out that she had cancer, started in her elbow of all places and moved to her lungs and brain and she pretty much suffered until she died about 10 years ago. But my point is that me and the others at work had a hard time forgetting the things that were done and said, forgetting how miserable it was for us to work there, and even still to this day I will think about it and have to say to myself "let it go, it's done, she was sick, you don't work there anymore" but at times I actually dream about her and being at work, but in the dreams she is NOT mean or nasty, and I often wonder if that is her way of trying to let me know that she has changed in the next life? I don't know, and sorry to drag on about it, but I think we all have people that we have to forgive and forget in our lives as hard as it might be, and it takes time to move on from that, it doesn't happen overnight I know.

Just my two cents thrown in there, hoping this might help....and I hope that 65 year old guy is alright

 

[PA. Woodsman]

bringing politics into this isn't helping anyone.

you should be banned for political content

I think what he means is the old adage that "things only bother you if you let them" so if we try to let them not bother us we will feel better about things and ourselves.

I may be wrong but that's what it sounds like to me. And I tried that theory years ago and it sure was/is tough to accomplish anyway, at least for me it was/is!

 

[svk]

I’ve been in your shoes Mac. Three things turned me away from the dark side: Meeting my birth mother, outdoor activity, and volunteering.

I found out where my dark side came from when I met my birth mother when I was 36 years old. I saw how she had more or less let her anger/stress/resentment/perceived shame ruin her life and vowed not to let that happen to me.

Getting outdoors really helps. For me, felling trees and splitting wood really make a difference but anything helps. Also if you can involve friends or family it makes it even more enjoyable.

Volunteering has changed my life. When you can make the difference in someone else’s life who is not in the position to help themselves, that’s when you really feel good.

I too have been wronged both at work and in friendships. I’ve come to accept that people did horrible things to me because THEY are pieces of **** and did so out of jealousy and resentment. I’ll never forget those bastards names but I don’t let it bother me like I once did.

 

[olyman]

bringing politics into this isn't helping anyone.

you should be banned for political content

but he thinks he should get a pass,,because he feels hes SOOOOOOOO impotent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[stihl86]

I know it's a problem, that's why I posted about it. Im just not interested in changing who I am, because as crazy as it sounds, being angry also motivates me.

As you'll see, there will be pages of someone's tale of woe or how they got screwed over. They're just unloading. Its like a AA meeting. Some say they work. I don't know.
You go, dump your load, listen to a few whinners and walk away saying "Man that guy's REALLY fu'd" LOL Then you start to realize EVERYBODY has demons. Its part of life and living. People get angry. But you better make sure who you get angry at and for what reason. Sometimes its necessary and healthy.
We don't know how good we have it in this country. Count your blessing.
Because tomorrow you may get run over by a truck.
Buy a heavy bag, a good pair of gloves and have at it. You get your cardio at the same time.

 

[Dcsco]

“The way you think determines the way you feel, and the way you feel determines the way you act. If you want to change any behavior you must start by challenging your unhealthy perspective on the subject”
If you have difficulty controlling anger AND you want to change...” don’t start with your actions; instead, begin with identifying and changing the thoughts that prompt you to anger”

If you use anger to motivate yourself, perhaps you are chewing on the thoughts that prompt you to anger, determining your error or misfortune, and making corrections. Seems like normal course correction.

 

[Del_]

but he thinks he should get a pass,,because he feels hes SOOOOOOOO impotent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

McOly! LOL!

 

[TNsawman]

I know it's a problem, that's why I posted about it. Im just not interested in changing who I am, because as crazy as it sounds, being angry also motivates me.

Anger is a good motivator, but act on that motivation with peace and clarity. Frustration is the hard one to deal with: you just have to let it go, determine not to let it bother you, and if it does, stop what is frustrating and go distract yourself with a bit of comedy, joyful music, a walk in nature, ect. I too am known as a kind person, I too exercise great self control, I keep my emotions inside and try to simply dissipate them. The brain works via chemicals. Certain things cause an imbalance, and it takes time to dissipate an excess. You can even try to force emotions like happiness, so you have a reserve of that built up. I can also be pushed to the point of snapping, but by practicing much patience and tolerance, I can go a long way before I break. Then again in these miserable days I sometimes come close to snapping a few times a day as if my patience is wearing thin. I double down with the intention of moving forward without letting things bother me. You have to have a plan ahead of time, because it is too difficult to avoid a build up of anger on the spot when it is already happening.

 

[TNTreeHugger]

Anger is a good motivator, but act on that motivation with peace and clarity. Frustration is the hard one to deal with: you just have to let it go, determine not to let it bother you, and if it does, stop what is frustrating and go distract yourself with a bit of comedy, joyful music, a walk in nature, ect. I too am known as a kind person, I too exercise great self control, I keep my emotions inside and try to simply dissipate them. The brain works via chemicals. Certain things cause an imbalance, and it takes time to dissipate an excess. You can even try to force emotions like happiness, so you have a reserve of that built up. I can also be pushed to the point of snapping, but by practicing much patience and tolerance, I can go a long way before I break. Then again in these miserable days I sometimes come close to snapping a few times a day as if my patience is wearing thin. I double down with the intention of moving forward without letting things bother me. You have to have a plan ahead of time, because it is too difficult to avoid a build up of anger on the spot when it is already happening.

"Certain things cause an imbalance,.."
Great point. I was going to mention that also... a poor diet can have a tremendous effect on a persons behavior. Like too much sugar, caffeine, carbs, red meat and not enough fruit, veggies, fiber, vitamins, etc.

 

[Bwildered]

but he thinks he should get a pass,,because he feels hes SOOOOOOOO impotent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At your age and capacity we'll take that as pure projection

 

[Bwildered]

Anger is a perfectly normal human feeling, not being able to control it in an acceptable manner is where the problems start.

 

[aokpops]

To feel real peace for me was getting into ice water . I was a real hot head hope I never go back there . I get my rewards by what I do and not by other people decision . We are capable of going well beyond preceived limitations . I will stay away from hate talking gossip . I will try to make anyone fell better even if I treat you like crap .

 

[Maximum!]

Libs saying too much red meat causes anger. Lol!

 

[TNTreeHugger]

You are what you eat...

You Are What You Eat: How Food Affects Your Mood – Dartmouth Undergraduate Journal of Science

sites.dartmouth.edu

Food Additives Affect Behavior - Nutrition

https://globalwellnessinstitute.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/FHF.pdf

"A diet lacking essential nutrients or containing too many ingredients that are detrimental in excess is likely to have adverse consequences for brain function and thus mental health and behaviour. It is widely agreed that a balanced diet is required to support physical health – and there is good scientific evidence suggesting that the Mediterranean diet is a good model. It is likely that a balanced diet of this kind is also beneficial for the healthy functioning of the brain."

 

[TNTreeHugger]

Then there's this...

Psychology of eating meat - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

"Studies in personality trait psychology have suggested that individuals' values and attitudes affect the frequency and comfort with which they eat meat.

Those who value power more highly have been found in several studies to eat more meat, while those who prefer self-transcendence values tend to eat less. In particular, studies have found that the personality trait of openness to experience is negatively correlated with meat consumption, and that vegetarians and pesco-vegetarians have more open personalities.

Other research has indicated that meat consumption is correlated with support for hierarchy and inequality values. Those with a social dominance orientation, who more strongly support inequality and hierarchical structures, have been found in some studies to eat more meat; it has been suggested that this is consistent with their preference for having certain groups dominate others (in this case, having humans dominate animals). In addition, research suggests people self-identifying as greater meat eaters have greater right-wing authoritarianism and social dominance orientation.Dhont & Hodson (2014) suggested that this subconsciously indicates their acceptance of cultural tradition, and their rejection of nonconformist animal rights movements.[99] Research also suggests that omnivores score higher in dark triad traits (though not at pathological levels) compared to vegetarians, though the correlations are low, as well as limited due to the small number of vegetarians/vegans available and may also largely be an artefact of gender differences in meat consumption (as males score higher in Dark Triad traits and are also more likely to eat meat; controlling for gender tends to reduce correlations to statistically insignificant levels).

Many of these personality characteristics have been shown to relate with moral disengagement in meat consumption. In particular, individuals with higher levels of moral disengagement in meat consumption also tend to show lower levels of general empathy, experience less self-evaluative emotional reactions (i.e. guilt and shame) when considering the impact of meat consumption, endorse group-based discrimination within humans (social dominance orientation), and display power motives of dominance and support of hierarchy of humans over other species (speciesism, human supremacy beliefs). Additionally, they also tend to display higher general propensity to morally disengage, attribute less importance to moral traits in how they view themselves (moral identity), and eat meat more often.

A detailed study of personality characteristics and diet in Americans characterized the self-descriptions of increased meat consumers as "pragmatic" and "business- and action-oriented", after correcting for gender differences.

The idea that "you are what you eat", related to superstitions about sympathetic magic and common in many cultures, may create the perception that eating meat confers animal-like personality attributes.

Personality correlates with both eating and avoiding meat can also vary across cultures. For example, in India, vegetarians, relative to omnivores, value their in-group more and express greater respect for authority. They are more likely to be motivated by concerns about pollution, purity and tradition. This contrasts to the United States, where vegetarians are motivated to avoid eating meat by univeralism and concerns about animal welfare."