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esshup

esshup

Addicted to ArboristSite
Joined
Feb 21, 2010
Messages
1,334
Location
N. Central Indiana
I'm the executor of Mom's will. Just my sister and I. I won't bore you with the details, but I'm having problems. Mom and Dad (Dad passed 2 years ago) wanted everything split 50/50. Right after Dad passed my sister had Mom put her name on a few bank accounts and a few other things. According to the estate attorney, now those accounts are solely my sisters. Mom was under the assumption that a year after dad passed away she went to the bank with my sister and signed paperwork having both my name AND my sisters name on the accounts. My sister also took a very large sum of $$ from the safe and all of dad's (and my grandfathers) firearms. She also took 2 of my firearms, and the estate attorney said that unless I want to sue her and file a police report reporting the money and guns as stolen, they are as good as gone if she doesn't willingly want to return them. That IS going to happen if she doesn't return my guns and split the rest of the $$ and guns. She also took Mom's engagement ring off her finger within 15 minutes of her passing and came back into the house after I had brought the jewelry there that Mom had on for the viewing and took the wedding band. I'll have to file a police report on that too if she doesn't bring that back, as mom specifically told me before she passed away that the rings were supposed to be in the estate (the will only says that all her possessions are to be split 50/50) and my sister was NOT to have the rings for herself. I also found out that there are documents that mom had that were in the house regarding bank accounts and stock accounts that are no longer in the house, and those documents are all from within the past year. (I found that information out by sitting down with the stock broker and going over Mom's accounts with him.)

I know every state is different regarding the will, here in Indiana, even though I had power of Attorney for Mom, the minute she passed away that stopped. AND even though I had power of attorney, when Mom found out that my sister was the only person on some of the bank accounts besides her, and she wanted that changed, the bank wouldn't allow me to get the paperwork to have mom sign before a notary, Mom had to call the bank and request that. So she did, but before I could arrange a notary to come to the house to witness the signing, (due to the virus) Mom had passed away (this was back in May). There also is a $100,000.00 CD that Mom had that is missing. Mom thought it was at one bank, and when I asked that bank if there were any other accounts there, they said no. When I called the bank that the CD was originally at, there is an account there with my Mom's name and my sisters name on it, but the bank wouldn't tell me what type of account or the balance.

The estate attorney said that it would have been better if the accounts were solely in Mom's name (he didn't know how they were worded when she had the will done). Also some people that I know that have multiple heirs are putting a clause in the will that whomever contests the will gets cut out of the will and receives nothing.

So my advice to you is to get yourself to the estate attorney asap, be up front with him about ALL your assetts and let him know how the assets are worded and, have a list of all the guns (with serial numbers) and a very specific list of who gets what for the attorney to draft in the will.
 
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svk

Saw Hoarder
Joined
Oct 19, 2009
Messages
25,050
Location
MN
I'm the executor of Mom's will. Just my sister and I. I won't bore you with the details, but I'm having problems. Mom and Dad (Dad passed 2 years ago) wanted everything split 50/50. Right after Dad passed my sister had Mom put her name on a few bank accounts and a few other things. According to the estate attorney, now those accounts are solely my sisters. Mom was under the assumption that a year after dad passed away she went to the bank with my sister and signed paperwork having both my name AND my sisters name on the accounts. My sister also took a very large sum of $$ from the safe and all of dad's (and my grandfathers) firearms. She also took 2 of my firearms, and the estate attorney said that unless I want to sue her and file a police report reporting the money and guns as stolen, they are as good as gone if she doesn't willingly want to return them. That IS going to happen if she doesn't return my guns and split the rest of the $$ and guns. She also took Mom's engagement ring off her finger within 15 minutes of her passing and came back into the house after I had brought the jewelry there that Mom had on for the viewing and took the wedding band. I'll have to file a police report on that too if she doesn't bring that back, as mom specifically told me before she passed away that the rings were supposed to be in the estate (the will only says that all her possessions are to be split 50/50) and my sister was NOT to have the rings for herself. I also found out that there are documents that mom had that were in the house regarding bank accounts and stock accounts that are no longer in the house, and those documents are all from within the past year. (I found that information out by sitting down with the stock broker and going over Mom's accounts with him.)

I know every state is different regarding the will, here in Indiana, even though I had power of Attorney for Mom, the minute she passed away that stopped. AND even though I had power of attorney, when Mom found out that my sister was the only person on some of the bank accounts besides her, and she wanted that changed, the bank wouldn't allow me to get the paperwork to have mom sign before a notary, Mom had to call the bank and request that. So she did, but before I could arrange a notary to come to the house to witness the signing, (due to the virus) Mom had passed away (this was back in May). There also is a $100,000.00 CD that Mom had that is missing. Mom thought it was at one bank, and when I asked that bank if there were any other accounts there, they said no. When I called the bank that the CD was originally at, there is an account there with my Mom's name and my sisters name on it, but the bank wouldn't tell me what type of account or the balance.

The estate attorney said that it would have been better if the accounts were solely in Mom's name (he didn't know how they were worded when she had the will done). Also some people that I know that have multiple heirs are putting a clause in the will that whomever contests the will gets cut out of the will and receives nothing.

So my advice to you is to get yourself to the estate attorney asap, be up front with him about ALL your assetts and let him know how the assets are worded and, have a list of all the guns (with serial numbers) and a very specific list of who gets what for the attorney to draft in the will.
I’m really sorry you have to go through this, and unfortunately it happens far too often.
 
alleyyooper

alleyyooper

Addicted to ArboristSite
Joined
Oct 21, 2008
Messages
2,532
Location
Michigan
Yes as you said every state is a bit different. I can not stress enough any one 50 years old or older set down and talk with an estate lawyer. I am here to tell you I was pissed at my wife and quit doing the things I once did because I loved her.

She inhearted a huge sum of money when her mom passed away. I figured that was her money to do with as she wished so when she got with an estate lawyer with out me I figured it was all to do with that money.
But then she tells me we have an appointment with the estate lawyer and money planer to sign papers I went. Sat and listened to what the money planer had to say and what the estate lawyer said and flat out came unglued and refused to sign a another thing but only on a small part it was already to late for me to put a stop to it.

Every penny we had and even every thing coming in, my pention check, My disabilty checks from the goverment were already in the trust I had signed before I had fully read and heard about it. There is another thing Make sure to read any thing people want ypu to sign even your wife.
If my wife were to die before me I would be penneyless since every thing went in that trust and I am not a trustee. If I were to need money after her death I would have to ask her sister if she were still alive of put in a request with the money planer.

Sposedly the reason is if I were put in a nurseing home they could not clean out all our money and yes they have and still do that if you do not see a lawyer and get the right papers done up.
But I had not yet signed the new deed for the home property or the UP property so that remains where I can sell it to get money if i need some.

I used to with out thinking give the wife money I earned on the side mowing lawns and cleaning winter drive ways. I do not do that any more, I tell her to get money from the dam trust.

See they tell me it is so a nurseing home can not rob us blind if I am put in one.

What they can't explain to me is if I were to put the wife in a home with her being a trustee how they can't rob us?

It also pisses me off my wife would even entertain putting me in a nasty azz home in the first place.

She knows how I feel and how I ranted till we got her mom out of a home after breaking her hip. I told the family we can hire people to come in and help care for mom in her own home.
I did not care for the way my mother in law was treated in that dam home.

Now how ever I am being cared for at home so far and she may feel like she could stick me in a home now with out looseing our life saveings but shame on her if she were to come visit.
She would do better visiting a prisoner in prison.
if she doesn't love me enough to care for me with maybe som in home help I do not want any thing to do with her.

I set 50 at the age some one should visit a estate planer lawyer. to many wait to long and make your death so much harder to plan and executors of the estate work harder and fairer.

Every morning they show obits on the local TV station morning news. Lots of people on there at age 48 and up and more than a couple at age 60


Al
 
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unclemoustache

unclemoustache

My 'stache is bigger than yours.
Joined
Jan 22, 2009
Messages
21,800
Age
50
Location
S. Il. near St. Louis
Dang! I can't imagine any worse pain than the betrayal of a wife, and I've had the pain of losing a child.

Al, you're sure going through the grinder right now. I'm so sorry for you. I wish I could pop up there and give you a hug. (A manly one, of course!).
I just turned 50 a couple weeks ago, and it's been on our list to get our wills updated. Hard to find the time with our busy lives. I'm glad to say we have a fantastic marriage and there is nothing between us.
I'm so sorry. Please hang in there.
 
alleyyooper

alleyyooper

Addicted to ArboristSite
Joined
Oct 21, 2008
Messages
2,532
Location
Michigan
Thank you uncle stach. You need to find thre time you never know when some thing will hppen to you or both of you. My middle sister was single age 44 fell on some slippery ice hit her head when she fell. Went into a coma for nearly a week then passed away. looked as if some lawyer was going to be able to make a bunch settling her estate since a will could not be found right away.


But a will was found once the upheaval settled down over her death.
Is very importnt to get it done

We are already digging up all the paper work for my will. I even started asking questions of family members if they would use a chain saw with out a chain brake.

Some of my favorite ones do not have a chain brake the 162Se I bought new end of the 1970's the 55 EPA i bought 1995's time area, a polan model 25 that was given to me by Kevin J a member here last Christmas.

Not going to will a non brake saw to some one who won't use it.

Al
 
Huskybill

Huskybill

Addicted to ArboristSite
Joined
May 21, 2018
Messages
6,263
Age
70
Location
Northeast
I have enough income to support myself at home. I’m not going to a home I refuse too. My brother went to a live in apartment by the state, he had caretakers and had a list to order food delivery. I don’t want that.

The greed comes out in people. It gets worse when someone dies. I told my buddy that. He had to stay in the FIL home because family members were breaking in stealing stuff.
 
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