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Woodslasher

Woodslasher

Make McCulloch Great Again!
Joined
Jan 2, 2019
Messages
2,096
Location
Commiefornia
"so other hells children like your posts"
Apparently I can read. You said "Other hells children like your post" and I had liked his post, so now I'm one of hell's children apparently.
 
olyman

olyman

Tree Freak
Joined
Jul 29, 2006
Messages
24,875
Location
iowa
"so other hells children like your posts"
Apparently I can read. You said "Other hells children like your post" and I had liked his post, so now I'm one of hell's children apparently.
so are you??????? ANYONE that likes turkeys posts has serious problems, as does he…….
 
olyman

olyman

Tree Freak
Joined
Jul 29, 2006
Messages
24,875
Location
iowa
While I have been on fire, no, I'm not to the best of my knowledge. Maybe a hell of a child, but not a child of hell.
and a child of hell likes your reply,,that tell you anything.....if you haven't asked for forgiveness,,and asked Jesus into your life,,welll,,that would make you hells child like chucker the filth..
 
Woodslasher

Woodslasher

Make McCulloch Great Again!
Joined
Jan 2, 2019
Messages
2,096
Location
Commiefornia
and a child of hell likes your reply, that tell you anything.....if you haven't asked for forgiveness and asked Jesus into your life, well, that would make you hells' child like chucker the filth.
Fortunately I was never involved in the P/R forum so I didn't know chucker was a child of hell. By your standards I am not a child of hell, so I think I'll gracefully bow out of this thread.
 
turnkey4099

turnkey4099

Tree Freak
Joined
Feb 27, 2002
Messages
18,481
Location
se washington
For our friends from the south.......
ALABAMA
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke o' some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry layin' out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one's gonna steal Henry!"
Georgia
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."
Louisiana
A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana .."
When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world."
Mississippi
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?"
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
North Carolina
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I got a flat tahr."
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."
Tennessee
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
Texas
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."

"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' "
**************
Y'all kin say whut y'all want 'about the South, but y'all never heard o' nobody retirin' an' movin' North.
 
old CB

old CB

Addicted to ArboristSite
Joined
Jul 4, 2011
Messages
1,060
Location
CO
Harry, I hope you’re recuperating fine and will soon be back to your usual work. I hope to be as able as you when I reach your age.

The state jokes reminded me of a guy I heard about when I lived in the northeast. This fellow lived right on the state line between NY and Vermont. One year a survey crew came through and discovered that the state border was actually on the other side of his property, and that he now belonged to the other state (I’ve forgotten which one).

A newspaper man heard about his predicament sometime afterward and came to ask the old guy how he felt about living in a different state.

The guy said, “Well, the winters are milder but I miss my old neighbors.”
 
turnkey4099

turnkey4099

Tree Freak
Joined
Feb 27, 2002
Messages
18,481
Location
se washington
This test is to ascertain your mental state now. If you get one right you are doing OK, if you get none right you better go for counseling.
There are 4 test questions. Don't miss one.

Giraffe Test
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Stop and think about it and decide on your answer before you scroll down.



The Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close
the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an
overly complicated way.

Elephant Test
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?


Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?
Wrong Answer.
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

Lion King Test
3. The Lion King is hosting an Animal Conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?


Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory.

Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

Crocodile Test
4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?




Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Haven't you been
lis-ten-ing? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Conference. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the Retirees they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively proves the theory that most Retirees do not have the brains of a four-year old.
Send this out to frustrate all of your smart friends.
 
Dave1960_Gorge

Dave1960_Gorge

ArboristSite Member
Joined
Mar 18, 2021
Messages
81
Location
Hood River
This test is to ascertain your mental state now. If you get one right you are doing OK, if you get none right you better go for counseling.
There are 4 test questions. Don't miss one.

Giraffe Test
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Stop and think about it and decide on your answer before you scroll down.



The Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close
the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an
overly complicated way.

Elephant Test
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?


Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?
Wrong Answer.
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

Lion King Test
3. The Lion King is hosting an Animal Conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?


Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory.

Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

Crocodile Test
4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?




Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Haven't you been
lis-ten-ing? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Conference. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the Retirees they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively proves the theory that most Retirees do not have the brains of a four-year old.
Send this out to frustrate all of your smart friends.
and I have a couple degrees
 
turnkey4099

turnkey4099

Tree Freak
Joined
Feb 27, 2002
Messages
18,481
Location
se washington
Little Johnny asks his mother her age.

She replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."

Johnny then asks his mother how much she weighs.
...
Again his mother replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."

The boy then asks, "Why did Daddy leave you?"

To this, the mother says, "You shouldn't ask that," and sends him to his room.

On the way, Johnny trips over his mother's purse. When he picks it up, her driver's license falls out.

Johnny runs back into the room. "I know all about you now. You are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and Daddy left you because you got an 'F' in sex!"
 
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