a part of what i meant was that; i will look at a tree, and do a part of it. if its big, or whatever. and then get down, or just a part of a job will freak me out. and then i get like "OK ROBERT. LETS GET READY TO DIE." i mean i get into my saddle, my spurs, and right up to the tree, and its like i am not afraid, and i just want to get the job done fast, and without doing any damage. and i dont care if i die. i mean, there have been cuts before where i will be nervous about making them, but i just yell out when i make the cuts "I AM TARBASH!" and i become a whacko. the cut gets made, i go for a ride if i blow out the top, and all is well. its like i am a psychopath in the trees. i am careful. but its just like, i dont care. i get nervous sometimes, but i dont care, i know its gotta get done, and i do it. however i have chickened out of trees before, due to EXTREME rot. and that caused problems. 1 tree wound up going on a dog house. cause it was so rotten the part i was on would have broken right off with me on it. another one, i didnt touch. went up / tied in / walked out on the branch about 10 feet, if that and said no way! it was a branch about 6 - 8" and it went up over a house and lines. thing was really rotten, and at the part i was at it was shaking badly. and there was nowhere to tie the branches to that i trusted.