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The Problem with Normal People

Discussion in 'Homeowner Helper Forum' started by Jackbnimble, Aug 14, 2017.

  1. Jackbnimble

    Jackbnimble Addicted to ArboristSite

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    is that you can't really appreciate the depth of tension, we who are sickos, experience over making decisions, at least ones that will likely lead to our ultimate demise.
    I noticed my 30 inch dia 80 ft high oak crying out to me a few weeks ago. Many limbs were naked. I realized it was hoping I would take her down before she rotted out.
    Today, as I was finishing my notch, my sweetie pie, Stihl 660, began to tear into the old girl's fibers like butter. "Uh oh! Feels like she rotted out inside." Indeedy! Upon removing the wedge, I got a good look-see. She was gutted. A rim of about 7 to 8 inches of solid wood forming a thick ring around her perimeter is all she's got left.
    For many of you boys you would call it a day and leave her alone, move along, sing a song, right? Right! For wackos like me, I grit my teeth and take this challenge as the ultimate test of my manhood. Even if it is the most dangerous type of tree felling out there, to me she simply must come down, right now, by my hand. The ulcerating tension swells inside because, while I'm completely out of my mind, I'm not really crazy about dying, especially when there will be vast amounts of unbridled pain involved. If you can talk me out of this, please do, but hurry. If you don't hear from me again, my stereo, my old chair and three packs of unchewed Red-Man are all yours.
     
  2. JTM

    JTM ArboristSite Guru

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    I like red man gold leaf. Good luck and Godspeed ya crazy feller.
     
  3. Jackbnimble

    Jackbnimble Addicted to ArboristSite

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    I have a 36 year old Instamatic that's yours, just for that, with a 12 picture roll of never used 40 year old color film.
     
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  4. Del_

    Del_ Life is but a song we sing.

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    Just as I was starting to miss Dr. P.!
     
  5. Jackbnimble

    Jackbnimble Addicted to ArboristSite

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    I have a 50 year old cracked 40lb bow without a bowstring. All yours, baby.
     
  6. JTM

    JTM ArboristSite Guru

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    I've got one of those trees too that's more than 5 feet in diameter at the base. It took me two days of cutting just to clean up one branch that fell. It had a lot of other branches coming off the one. The tree needs to come down but I might wait on Mother Nature since it's about 10 feet from power lines.
     
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  7. JTM

    JTM ArboristSite Guru

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    Nice looking loader in that avatar.
     
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  8. Jackbnimble

    Jackbnimble Addicted to ArboristSite

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    See! That's what I mean. Wait for nature! That's what I do to use the John. This is life and death. Don't you get it? Rhetorical. Of course not! U b sane. That tree is begging me to go out there and show her whose boss!
     
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  9. Jackbnimble

    Jackbnimble Addicted to ArboristSite

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    I have become such a fat slob in my later years I need her to get me out of bed.
     
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  10. JTM

    JTM ArboristSite Guru

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    When I question my sanity for the tree I'm about to drop I just pull that handle with the string thingy that's on my saw and voila! No more sanity!
     
  11. JTM

    JTM ArboristSite Guru

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    Now you're bragging.
     
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  12. Jackbnimble

    Jackbnimble Addicted to ArboristSite

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    Saw Clockwork in Boston in '72. Alex and I had much in common.
     
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  13. JTM

    JTM ArboristSite Guru

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    Singing in the rain
     
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  14. Jackbnimble

    Jackbnimble Addicted to ArboristSite

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    I know. I know! My exercise program has advanced. Flexing my arms with all my might is the only way I can button my jeans. It is exhausting.

    Okay, okay, kay, kay, kay! I'm not going to attempt to tackle that grey barked punk tonight--but I'd like to.
     
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  15. BC WetCoast

    BC WetCoast Addicted to ArboristSite

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    Ohh the melodrama.

    Just for edification, that tree is over 71% sound. Only rotten in the middle (heartwood) where the fibre strength is least, the most strongest fibres for tension are in the sapwood. With just that information, it would probably be rated as a low likelihood of failure by TRAQ. Risk would be determined by the proximity and value of targets.
     
  16. Jackbnimble

    Jackbnimble Addicted to ArboristSite

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    BTW, "Sleuth" is a cool movie and "Life Below Zero" is good t.v., too.
     
  17. JTM

    JTM ArboristSite Guru

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    Hey, I'm from Alabama. It usually starts out by lighting it on fire . Then when you've got a real Roman candle going it's, " uh.. hold my beer. HEY YALL WATCH THIS!" Of course this has to be at night on the 4th of July, New Year's Eve, or after the local high school football game.
     
  18. Jackbnimble

    Jackbnimble Addicted to ArboristSite

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    WWIII always targets me. She ain't here, so I thought it would be safe to give it a shot now.

    Can't we use a bullfighting move with 60 ton trees falling over? As she plunges, just a quick side step away from the base with a little spin move and voila! No?

    I like this
     
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  19. Jackbnimble

    Jackbnimble Addicted to ArboristSite

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    Hey, 2 voilas just like that.
     
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  20. Jackbnimble

    Jackbnimble Addicted to ArboristSite

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    Nature is starting to speak to me.
     
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