The Problem with Normal People

[JeffGu]

It's a sad day in the annals of forum history when you realize that future generations might dig through the archives of an arborist site and stumble upon this thread.
"What the hell? How did a Homeowner Helper forum degenerate so quickly into a psychiatric advice column?"

The blame will fall upon your shoulders alone, Jack. I'm only here on a research project. This is your baby. Only the twisted corridors of what passes for your mind can possibly be responsible for such gibberish and weak attempts at comedic writing. I've merely fallen down the rabbit hole, whereas you, my friend, are the Mad Hatter.

 

[JTM]

It's a sad day in the annals of forum history when you realize that future generations might dig through the archives of an arborist site and stumble upon this thread.
"What the hell? How did a Homeowner Helper forum degenerate so quickly into a psychiatric advice column?"

The blame will fall upon your shoulders alone, Jack. I'm only here on a research project. This is your baby. Only the twisted corridors of what passes for your mind can possibly be responsible for such gibberish and weak attempts at comedic writing. I've merely fallen down the rabbit hole, whereas you, my friend, are the Mad Hatter.

What the heck? Psychiatric advice column? What about my egg salad sandwich?

 

[Jackbnimble]

to be honest, it is my fault, my responsibility, a measure of my sick, perverted, vile and nasty thinking processes. i hate to brag, but it's true. just don't tell my P.O.. my very conditional release from the Texas nuthouse depended upon complete abstinence from such blatherings and further attempts to recruit and to drag other likewise potentially deranged wack-jobs into my web of dastardly doings. henceforth, i vow, that to the best of my abilities, i will cease all efforts to conspire to draw such degenerates into this campaign. I will only accept full blown preeverts.

i don't like this

"Only the twisted corridors of what passes for your mind..." J2rocket

i don't deserve it, but thank you. The Texas Nut House refused to acknowledge i had any mental faculties

 

[JeffGu]

...refused to acknowledge i had any mental faculties...

A shrink who hangs his shingle in Texas is akin to a fireman looking for employment in Hell. What does he know? Phhhttt. Clearly, he failed to recognize your contributions to the dubious artform of deranged thinking, the artful execution of which deserves due credit. I suggest you continue putting those funny mushrooms on your pizza and huffing whatever aerosol product you find to be the most inspirational. You're doing a fine job of elevating the science of walking the fine line between nuttier than squirrel sh*t and full blown batsh*t crazy to previously unattainable levels. I applaud your efforts.

 

[Jackbnimble]

i like the guileless. nothing put into my system has contributed to the inanity you admire. this is organic, baby. true, various and sundry items have been "introduced" into my body hoping for signs of curative responses. nada. no sir. this be all yours truly.

and while i've enjoyed chatting with you, my friend, i have no time for mere wannabes. i'm only interested in the most hilacious, the sickest, the most thoroughly demented pervs to join my team.

there's a world out there waiting for me--to right all wrongs, to war against the wicked. sanchez, my sword!

(p.s. no individual shrink ever attempted treatment. entire hospital staffs from Switzerland were engaged to find answers)

 

[JTM]

You know what's effed up? I had to read this entire thread this morning. I had to ask myself why? Then I realized that this is the making of a masterpiece. Best entertainment I've had since watching looney toons as a kid. I really believe that if we corralled jackbnimble, jeffGu, and saddlesoap all in the same room and just observed them.... we might witness a twist on the classic "waiting for Godot" or maybe the revelation that the Great Oz is really the collection of these three.

 

[JeffGu]

You're getting dangerously close to unlocking the secrets of the universe. We'll have to kill you, now. I'll let Jack handle the light work, he has a shiny new straight razor he's dying to try out. He was worried about police intervention, which is unusual. He never seemed to care back in those dreary days in London, when he wantonly slashed up hookers and took parts back to feed his pet piranha.

 

[JTM]

Straight razors.... now you're just being a tease.

 

[ropensaddle]

You're getting dangerously close to unlocking the secrets of the universe. We'll have to kill you, now. I'll let Jack handle the light work, he has a shiny new straight razor he's dying to try out. He was worried about police intervention, which is unusual. He never seemed to care back in those dreary days in London, when he wantonly slashed up hookers and took parts back to feed his pet piranha.

Progress rather than perfection! not sure of all the secrets to the universe but I know 7 is the key.

 

[SeMoTony]

If it's going to fall on you - move.

Be sure to move where it won't land tho

 

[ropensaddle]

A shrink who hangs his shingle in Texas is akin to a fireman looking for employment in Hell. What does he know? Phhhttt. Clearly, he failed to recognize your contributions to the dubious artform of deranged thinking, the artful execution of which deserves due credit. I suggest you continue putting those funny mushrooms on your pizza and huffing whatever aerosol product you find to be the most inspirational. You're doing a fine job of elevating the science of walking the fine line between nuttier than squirrel sh*t and full blown batsh*t crazy to previously unattainable levels. I applaud your efforts.

Huh I'm originally a Texan

 

[ropensaddle]

That picture, my beloved, was taken after a particularly lonesome stretch on route 66 hiding from the authorities who said I owed millions in back taxes.

You know who was a true beauty back in the day? Ingrid Bergman. To this day I can't figure out why she refused my advances. O well. Her loss

this wasmy childhood sweetheart lol

 

[JeffGu]

Really, there's nothing wrong with Texas that can't be fixed with enough prozac dumped in the water aquifers. I have a brother that lives there. I left him posted at the edge of town in Hutto to keep me informed on the advancing army about to install Sharia law there, under the auspices of the ubiquitous Jade Helm invasion plan.

 

[ropensaddle]

Really, there's nothing wrong with Texas that can't be fixed with enough prozac dumped in the water aquifers. I have a brother that lives there. I left him posted at the edge of town in Hutto to keep me informed on the advancing army about to install Sharia law there, under the auspices of the ubiquitous Jade Helm invasion plan.

Not sure that will ever fly in Texas or at least the part of Texas I grew up, law there was you in a heap a trouble bowy instead of Miranda rights lol

 

[ropensaddle]

Yessir you didn't mess round in them days

 

[JTM]

Not sure that will ever fly in Texas or at least the part of Texas I grew up, law there was you in a heap a trouble bowy instead of Miranda rights lol

Back in the 70's some guys I was in high school with would go to Texas and work in the oil fields during summer break. They always remarked that the cops there would shoot first and ask questions later.

 

[ropensaddle]

Back in the 70's some guys I was in high school with would go to Texas and work in the oil fields during summer break. They always remarked that the cops there would shoot first and ask questions later.

Well our sheriff made national headlines but its funny the internet seems to have misplaced such info. There was a cop a town over in that day my dad told me to steer clear of cause he was retired federal marshal that had a habit of jerking young men outta the car by their hair if long and beating them up real good. Last I heard he was let go for brutality lol. But yeah, west Texas is where I think they sent that guy i'm pretty sure those roughnecks could give him a run for his money.

 

[jefflovstrom]

You missed my whole point Sanity defined merely by a collective view of peers, society and yes doctors indoctrinated into the illusion called sanity. The head doc's are actually many times the sickest of the whole lot because they believe their training and study created by collected materials from societies past somehow makes them sane. My question of if your in a room full of waco's what would normal mean has wisdom derived from my views of society and by personal exploits of my not so distant past. Sane it would seem is proportional to the collective status Que but "is it Sane really"? If 1 million people are in a room and all but 1 are full blown lunitics the outcast is the sanest one in the whole group! However; the collective view of this group likely will see it otherwise.

Deep,,haha,
Jeff

 

[jefflovstrom]

You are tempting me to throw out the diet I've been on for the last ten minutes.

You know who was a cool, cool, tough and rough, competent, and excellent boss? Chris Kraft, Director of the Manned Spacecraft Center. He was the Vince Lombardi of NASA.

Well, tomorrow the rotted out old oak comes a tumbling down. Nice mixin it up with you boys.

Not one word of advice?

1977 rusted through Skylark is yours boys. Anybody want my 1970 portable record player and 3 heavily scratched albums? Vanilla Fudge, In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida- Iron Butterfly, and 'Fire' by Arthur Brown

Word of advice?, really,
I do not think you would take it so I will stay on the side lines and watch the show.
Jeff

 

[Jackbnimble]

[QJUOTE="jefflovstrom, post: 6329561, member: 3649"]Word of advice?, really,
I do not think you would take it so I will stay on the side lines and watch the show.
Jeff [/QUOTE]

Just for that, you are bequeathed one stale egg salad sandwich.

I'm keeping the Skylark.

You know you've really been so blind.
Nows your time
burn your mind
You're falling far too far behind.
Fire
I'll take you to burn.
Fire
I'll take you to learn.
You gonna burn... Burn... Burn... Burn... Burn... Burn
Fire
I fell into a burnin' ring of fire
I went down, down, down
And the flames went higher
And it burns, burns, burns
The ring of fire, the ring of fire