True cost of heating with wood (joke)

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I have $6-7000 in my wood truck, splitter, saws and other wood cutting stuff. I dont really keep up with how much I spend on any of my hobbies and my wife never says a word about it. She pays the power bill, so that may be why lol. Especially when the women she works with are paying hundreds a month and have to be conservative with the thermostat.
 
So when I was a kid and we were heating with wood, I remember my dad had this paper he copied from the bulletin board at work, with a comical list of the true cost of heating with wood. It went something like this (going from memory, so missing a lot):

1. Stove $1200
2. Chainsaw $200



4. Donation to local Vol Fire Dept for 1st chimney fire response $100


7. Redneck tow to get pickup truck out of mud (AAA doesn't go into the woods) $50



10. Emergency room bill to get splinters out of eye $250



13. Donation to local Vol Fire Dept for 2nd chimney fire response $100



15. New coffee table (old one chopped up and burned while drunk) $400



17. Chiropractor bill for herniated discs in back $300



And the grand finale was "divorce settlement" to the tune of $25,000 or so.


Has anyone seen this list? I'd love to get a copy of the actual list for old time's sake. I'd guess it was around 1980 or so when it was circulating around, way before the internet. It was pretty funny (way better than the limited stuff I can remember).


I thought it was funny because it is sort of true.

I'm on my second furnace in 6 years and have 6 chainsaws and all the stuff to go along with it. In the last house all I did was pay a gas bill. The divorce part is funny too. Instead of spending time with the family I'm stuck cutting wood or checking on the furnace. But the wood is free lol.
 
I've bought multiple cord loads out to many people that don't even have a stove or fireplace, just burn wood in a firepit at home or when camping.

Even if having to buy firewood, it's cheaper than many other ways to heat a home.

A cord of wood is equal to around 170 gallons of fuel oil. I got my tank filled a few weeks ago, it was $2.78, and that was with buying 500 gallons and paying cash. 100 gals with a check or card was closer to $3/gal.

Even $2/gallon fuel oil would equal to a cord of wood at $340. $3 gallon fuel is closer to a $500/cord.


Grew up heating with wood, when I bought my own house I decided to put in a wood stove, I wanted a backup heat source in case SHTF. Not even crazy something like a zombie attack (haha), but just a few days of no power and it's -20* outside type stuff.

Now that I do it for a living, I more or less heat the house for free. Dropping off ~3 cords a year at the house is nearly "couch change" when I do several hundred cords a year. Did about 350 cords last year.

.
If I desired to, I could easily heat my place with just scraps, but I'd rather not deal with that much mess at home. We do burn plenty of that in the shop stove though.
 
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