I never had a problem with anger until lately, as late as covid, as late as seeing countries being destroyed with social media,For lack of a better outlet, my thought is that perhaps personal experiences from people with relative anonymity might provide some personal insight.
More and more I find myself carrying and intrernalizing anger. I don't talk about it with anyone, not friends, not family, no one. I have no interest in anger management discussions, hugging it out, and I certainly have no interest in being stigmatized or judged, so I just keep it to myself. I'm actually known as a very kind and unassuming person, because I am, because I exercise great self-control. But it's always there, just below the surface, and it's a constant struggle. Have never hurt anyone, or committed a crime, but I've broken my share of physical objects. I get it from my father, and grandfather whao died well before I was born. Very kind but a short temper, and a constant anger that I can't do anything constructive with. Today was a bad day, passed up for a promotion at work, so here I am sharing my anger with total strangers on an arborist forum, because that's the extent that I am comfortable discussing it.
I'd be quite angry if I believed in fairys at the bottom of the garden too, thankfully I missed out on that recessive gene & am happy as because of itI never had a problem with anger until lately, as late as covid, as late as seeing countries being destroyed with social media,
as late as seeing the impact of discrimination in all quarter of life.
I am a Christian, and have tried to find answers in the bible, to no real avail, God knows us from even before we were born,
and he sent his Son to die for our sins, so my sin of anger must surely have been on His mind when he hung there on the cross.
There would be no warnings against being angry if anger was not part our make up.
My view of anger is, that it is a product of what society has become, its so corrupt and openly rewards those who are of no good,
its no wonder people get angry, all we can do is keep clear of circumstances and people that are blind deaf and defiant to
all that is good, your social circle will dwindle but what is left will be worth it, is it not better to have a few friends who are
on the same page, than connect with a society that is self destructing at an alarming rate, why would we want to be a part of that crash,
the human race is on its way out, and those who see it do get angry, its not their doing, and we cant undo it either,
the blind and the deaf will just sail on like nothing is wrong, I know the people I want in my life and those I want to avoid
at all cost, anger is a reaction to an event or events, go to the right events and anger wont be part of it, a whole lot easier said than done.
Keep on keeping on, our true rewards are not in this world, there is only a small number of believers, and that is the clux of the problem.
No one who sees and hears the truth will be happy in this world with what is going on in it, the end times are well and truly under way, it is going
to be difficult for people who only want to do good, having to look at and listen to the utter crap that has become the norm will break anyone who
allows it to affect them, people need to shield themselves and their families from the evil that is in our faces day in day day out, its the only way
to remain civil, control anger and make it to the finish line.
Good day Mr Bwildered, always good to hear your still with us, there’s hope yet, God loves you,I'd be quite angry if I believed in fairys at the bottom of the garden too, thankfully I missed out on that recessive gene & am happy as because of it
Nicely done!Want to share a personal victory. Was using my Graco airless sprayer today in our downstairs exercise room that we just had the drywall done. I wanted to use the airless sprayer to apply a few coats of primer.
Well on the second coat, the gun starter spitting paint when I hit the trigger and when I let off the trigger. Started making a real mess with spatters of paint and ruining the nice smooth surface.
Tried everything and it just kept getting worse, finally I cocked my arm back and was about to endzone-spike that aluminum spray gun into the concrete floor....but I stopped myself. Finished the job as could, took apart the gun and found a lot of gunky paint that was probably keeping the needle from seating closed.
So now I still have a spray gun that I can fix, that's not smashed into pieces.
Im in the process of learning to paint better, I was using latex primer that I had not thinned at all and was thick as snot. I assumed that was my problem, ran water through the sprayer to clean it out, then tried some ceiling paint that I thinned about 10%, was still getting some spitting, but I think the gun was still gunked up with the primer, and the needle in the gun wasn't sealing.And thin the paint before use.
Yes that’s a plus.Im in the process of learning to paint better, I was using latex primer that I had not thinned at all and was thick as snot. I assumed that was my problem, ran water through the sprayer to clean it out, then tried some ceiling paint that I thinned about 10%, was still getting some spitting, but I think the gun was still gunked up with the primer, and the needle in the gun wasn't sealing.
But at least I didn't break it!
You are so right!My wife and I have been angry and very stressed by a man who has moved in with an elderly lady next door who is very vulnerable and seeks attention, but not the kind of attention that he administers. His sole ambition is to own her property and she is completely in his thrall. He ran her over with a mower and put her in hospital and then moved in and changed all the locks. The woman nearly lost her foot and had been in intensive trauma care for 12 weeks.
We have been keeping an eye on him and he tried to run my wife over with the mower. Police were not much use, lack of witnesses. So we both have been very angry and it has been eating us up.
I was on the verge of doing something stupid like giving him a good hiding which would probably end up with me in prison.
Of course your anger without physical contact has no effect on the person to whom it is directed, it only has a bad effect on yourself.
Wife came back from a very good friend who advised her to stop swearing, and stop surrounding yourself with negative energy and try and think of love and gratitude.
All sounded a bit New Age to me but I thought I would give it a try. Starting in the woods, tripped over a bit of ivy
"F*****" chainsaw hit a stone "F*******"! and so it went on and I never realised how much I swore in a days work until I started counting.
Started looking around at the beautiful trees and thought how much I love my work and the woods and how much I love my wife and being alive and healthy and I thought great gratitude for all of that
My wife was the same around the house, vacuum cleaner bag burst "F*****", burnt the meat ,"F*****" etc so we started pulling each other up over it.
A day later the police turned up and evicted the villain and are going to prosecute and he is going out of our lives.
The suddenness of this shook us both, my wife had been so stressed that we had not made love for months and the stress lines were on her face and her gut tightened every time she saw him so her digestion was bad.
Good result now all the lines and furrowed brow have disappeared and we are just as we were on our Wedding night!
So at next anger event try and think Love and Gratitude, it may not be easy but I promise you that it is worth it.
Thanks for the reminder, TNT. Perfect timing.I can't relate to the kind of anger you and some of the other guys are talking about, I guess because I've learned to control it. I can remember two times I've gone into an angry rage. Both when I was a teen. I don't like being angry, it makes me feel physically ill.
That's not to say I don't get "mad." This year especially, a lot of things have made me mad. And from what I've seen at work from my customers, a lot of people are mad this year about one thing or another.
I quoted part of Manic84s post because I agree completely, know first-hand it works, and wanted to share with you some ways to achieve some level of balance and control in your life.
First on my "can't do without" list is St. John's wort. Been taking one a day for more than 20 years and it definitely helps "promote a feeling of wellbeing" as it claims. Would not want to be without it.
Second, just this past week as a matter of fact, I've revisited some "old friends" I've put aside for way too long - meditation and tai chi practice. Haven't made a habit of them yet, but I'm working on it because I know from past experience that they also work to promote a feeling of wellbeing.
I think the first book I read on meditation was this one, which I've just started reading again
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Here's another great book
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Even though I haven't actively practiced any of these techniques for many years, they have never left me.
Bottom line is, you need to get to the point where, when something threatens your peace of mind, you can take a deep breath, relax, and move on.
You could also get a big poster of the known universe... look at it to help put things in perspective.
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Or, if you'd rather reflect on the past...
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