Favorite Phrases

[Wood Mainiac]

The Wood Horrors

My greatfather once commented about a fellow who was obsessed with cutting firewood, "He has the wood horrors", meaning his obsession is so overpowering and uncontrollable as to be like having the horrors.

One could say that a wood whore has the wood horrors. Kinda sounds like a venereal disease. Easy to catch, hard to cure.

Whenever I feel myself getting obsessed with firewood, I smile and think of my grandfather. There are those wood horrors again!

My grandfather had another great saying that he came up with when he started to get that alzeemers. "I've got a memory as long as my teapot, and that isn't very long".

 

[LD1]

When joking around with someone about wanting to fight
"you'll come out looking worse than trying to j:censored: off a mountain lion in a phone booth with a handful of razor blades"

"Madder than a hair lip trying to order biggie fries at wendys"

A Classic...."hold my beer and watch this"

When someone asks for your opinion about what might happen if...

"there's only one way to find out"

 

[polkat]

as coordinated as a buffalo

hes so thight that he can make copper wire out of a penny

and my favorite "NOTHING BUT FIREWOOD"

and also Im gonna ginzu something

 

[danrclem]

I'll break your plate.

I heard this one a few years ago from a guy I worked with. He said that his dad was a retired marine and when he was young if he got out of line that is what he would hear.

 

[strongback]

Colder than a pimp's heart.
Root hog or die!

My dad used to say he'd married a nun...None in the morning, none in the afternoon and none at night.

 

[super3]

Crookeder than a snakes ass in a wagon track

 

[jags]

"The guys so crooked that their gonna have to screw him into the ground when he goes"

 

[treevet]

in reference to talking to a pretty woman......I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave.

 

[YarraValleyDude]

Women, "if it wasn't for their #### washing machine, they'd be stacked ten deep at the tip!"

He ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.

 

[AT sawyer]

How clean?

"Cleaner than a cat's a$$"

Proper usage: "I don't care how late it is, the day's not over until my chainsaw's cleaner than a cat's a$$"

I may not have many teeth, but I have a toothbrush for my 036.

 

[pwl]

Hornier than a pail of bullheads.

 

[woodbooga]

in reference to talking to a pretty woman......I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave.

When I was single, I for some reason could get away with the corniest icebreakers/pickup lines:

Nice bum. Where you from?

What's fittin', kitten?

What's buzzin, cuzzin?

Just a few that come to mind. It's been a while, but I remember they worked best after sustained eye contact had been made. Nothing like a good chuckle to break the tension.

 

[sdt7618]

When I was single, I for some reason could get away with the corniest icebreakers/pickup lines:

Nice bum. Where you from?

What's fittin', kitten?

What's buzzin, cuzzin?

Just a few that come to mind. It's been a while, but I remember they worked best after sustained eye contact had been made. Nothing like a good chuckle to break the tension.

Man they would sound so corny now... or maybe thats me getting to old!!:monkey:

 

[woodbooga]

Man they would sound so corny now... or maybe thats me getting to old!!:monkey:

Nah. They were corny then, too. But in the nineties, everyone was so ironic or post-modern grunge. Cornieness was my little niche and distinguished me from the competition.

 

[danrclem]

When I was single, I for some reason could get away with the corniest icebreakers/pickup lines:

Nice bum. Where you from?

What's fittin', kitten?

What's buzzin, cuzzin?

Just a few that come to mind. It's been a while, but I remember they worked best after sustained eye contact had been made. Nothing like a good chuckle to break the tension.

Are you a handsome guy or did your parents have a lot of money? LOL

 

[woodbooga]

Are you a handsome guy or did your parents have a lot of money? LOL

Neither. Just irresistably charming...

...as evidenced by my fine stable of pickup lines. :biggrinbounce2:

 

[cuttinstuff]

No bigger than a popcorn fart!

 

[woodbooga]

Couple more firewood related - a current wood ID thread brought these to mind:

Seasoned on the stump - dead standing. (Usually doesn't refer to oak which takes a long time for a thorough vertical drying).

As far as I know, Ecclesiastes wood is a woodbooga original. By Ecclesiastes wood I mean poplar, white pine, etc. Stuff I burn real early and very late in the heating cycle - to every thing there is a season, you know.

Add to the verse below, "A time to cut down, a time to buck up; a time to burn pine, a time to burn oak."

Ecclesiastes 3
1To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance

 

[mimilkman1]

I gotta say you're a pretty creative guy to come up with that. Sounds like you have a pretty good remembery.

Kyle

 

[sdt7618]

hey milkman how the hell did you get all that rep with only 400 odd posts?