BriGuy89
ArboristSite Lurker
By charging by the hour, bringing his PDA into the woods with him, and sending jokes to the folks on arborsite? :hmm3grin2orange:
Firewooder in a hurry!!!!
- Thread starter woodbooga
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By charging by the hour, bringing his PDA into the woods with him, and sending jokes to the folks on arborsite? :hmm3grin2orange:
woodbooga
cords of mystic memory
A: I dunno. You've got me stumped!
Q: Why did the guy who only cut with the tip of his saw have no friends?
rtrsam
ArboristSite Operative
Was he boring?
woodbooga
cords of mystic memory
Did you hear about the chainsaw collector who was trying to lose weight? He took some weight loss advice and now none of his saws run!
What happened?
(Hint: he's still fat
)
Last edited:
he got rid of his chains?
woodbooga
cords of mystic memory
mmmm, not quite, though fatty acids on a molecular level are formed in long and short chains.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fatty_acid#Long_and_short
woodbooga
cords of mystic memory
speaking of chains
What do a good sharp chain, sliced potatoes, and Eric Estrada have in common?
What do a good sharp chain, sliced potatoes, and Eric Estrada have in common?
jags
ArboristSite Guru
Did you hear about the chainsaw collector who was trying to lose weight? He took some weight loss advice and now none of his saws run!
What happened?
(Hint: he's still fat
He cut down on his carbs.
outdoorlivin247
Addicted to ArboristSite
chips
woodbooga
cords of mystic memory
woodbooga
cords of mystic memory
Q: Why did the firewooder afix a set of 6 Gibson strings to a stack of wood measuring 4x4x8?
outdoorlivin247
Addicted to ArboristSite
jags
ArboristSite Guru
To see if it measures up to a cord
woodbooga
cords of mystic memory
Yup. He was trying to make a chord.
Q: What about the guy who came in last in a wood piling contest - why did he lose?
Q: What about the guy who came in last in a wood piling contest - why did he lose?
MRNDAD
ArboristSite Operative
woodbooga
cords of mystic memory
The odds were stacked against him????
Close enough - he didn't stack up against the competition.
Q: A firewood customer calls you mid-winter to place an order because he has run out of wood.
What kind of phone is he calling from?
outdoorlivin247
Addicted to ArboristSite
Close enough - he didn't stack up against the competition.
Q: A firewood customer calls you mid-winter to place an order because he has run out of wood.
What kind of phone is he calling from?
Cordless...
woodbooga
cords of mystic memory
ding-ding-ding-ding!
Q: An arborist realized his computer had like zero memory.
He opened the machine up and found that instead of hardware, it was filled with tree matter. Specifically the woody tissues from outside of the vascular cambium.
When he called tech support, what did they tell him?
outdoorlivin247
Addicted to ArboristSite
ding-ding-ding-ding!
Q: An arborist realized his computer had like zero memory.
He opened the machine up and found that instead of hardware, it was filled with tree matter. Specifically the woody tissues from outside of the vascular cambium.
When he called tech support, what did they tell him?
His computer was all bark and no byte...
woodbooga
cords of mystic memory
you got it!
He might have gotten better advice, but he reached the branch office.
Q: My son is playing a tree in the school play. At the end of the performance there was a standing ovation for the whole cast, who all started pulling on his costume.
What did the play director tell the kids to do in response to the standing O?
