So, I was in the shop, tearing down my Jonsered, when this guy walks in. I've known this person for a few years, as he works for another tree company. Apparently he's out of work, so he's asking if we need another hand..... Ummm.... Nope! He's wearing sandles with socks, ratty sweatpants, and an ancient t-shirt full of holes. Before I can usher him out the door he pulls a beer out of his pocket and cracks it open, followed by a nip of cheapo rum. Then he spots my disasembles saw. He goes into this long ignorant narrative about how Jonsered sucks, and Husky is way better. I try to tell him that they are essentially the same, but he doesn't want to hear it... "Ya but, Husky is better!" Sure buddy, sure.
Then he asks the cc of my Jonsered so I tell him it was originally a 65cc but now it's a 71cc. He laughs and tells me it's a girl saw, that his smallest is 90cc. Then abruptly he leaves, and returns in seconds with the most beat up chainsaw I've ever seen. He plops it down on my workbench and announces "This is a man's saw". Woudn't you know it's a 372xp. so I ask him where is the 90cc saw. He looks confused, so I show him the EPA label and how his saw is 71cc.... same as mine. His feathers get all ruffled, so he pulls out another beer and nip (never offered me a thing).
You should have seen this poor 372xp. The thing was hammered in oil-wood chip paste. The plastics were all cracks and taped, the visible AV sping was mashed and bent badly. I asked if he ran it over or something, and he tells me that it's from 'dogging it in'. He also had a 28 inch bar on it. I asked him why he had such a long bar on a 71cc machine. His priceless answer was "so i don't have to bend over to buck".... Wow! Then he proceeds to fire it up, and rev it to high heaven. Talk about lean... I was waiting for that poor motor pop.
A few beers later he sees my old 65cc piston hanging on the 'wall of shame' He starts fiddling with it, and asks why I changed it out. I show him the scoring and tell him how it only has one piston ring. "Every chainsaw has one piston ring." he replied. He goes off on another narrative about how he's been working on chainsaws for 30 years, and every one he's ever worked on has had one piston ring. So, of course i pull out the pistons for a 385xp, 026, 028 Super, Titan 57, MS260, and an MS 270.... all with 2 rings. He quickly dropped the subject then noticed my Jonsered's muffler mod. He asks a few questions, i answer them, and he tells me muff mods don't increase power at all. To increase power you just have to keep your 'Air injection' clean.
What?
I try to tell him about the mechanics of internal combustion engines, but ignorance is bliss. Apparently his saw can out cut my saw. Of course, mine is in 30 pieces, but i tell him there is an old McCulloch Titan 57 that we can race if he wants. Sure enough, we go out to the pile of logs, I fire up the old McCulloch, and let that 20 inch bar rip threw a 18 inch log. No problem. Not fast, but steady. He fires his up, holds it WOT (still wearing sandals) and drops it onto the log. That beat 372 just bogs and the chains stops. He tries again... same thing, then on the third try it finally chews through. I tell him again that his bar might be a bit long for the saw.... This time he tells me he cleans it once a month.
Okay.
Finally after that he leaves. No goodbye, no wave, just a burn-out, with that 372xp smashing around in the back of his pickup.
Later, buddy.
