spacemule
The Peanut Gallery
Your chainsaws are in danger, and you need to take action now! Because of increased consumption of alcoholic beverages and lead paint chips, chainsaws have become increasing exposed to the deadly virus positus, or pos for short.
The symptoms begin slowly, but quickly become increasingly alarming. The afflicted saw may become exposed to grunting men in get'r done apparel drinking beers and brandishing various tools, welders, torches, spray paint, and plumbing pipe. Early contact may leave saws looking like this, with various protrusions from their gluteus muffleus members. When running, the saw will invariably be obnoxiously loud, which is aggravated by a constant blipping and pegging of the twiddle dinger.
If your chainsaw looks like this, don't worry, a good technician can restore your saws health, maybe with as little as a new gluteus muffleus member, but maybe as extensively as requiring a new esophogus pistonius and sphincter ring.
The important thing is to take prompt and decisive action to quell the spread of the virus. Failure to do so may lead to deformed and abnormal growths on the gluteus muffleus, as in this case.
Saws in this condition are approaching the advanced stages of pos. There's not much hope at this point. The saw is no longer able to run for more than a few seconds, and it is invariably surrounded by grunting, beer swilling ogres. If you have saws at this stage of pos, you need to destroy and bury them to quell the spread of the pos syndrome. Otherwise, they will end up like this poor saw. It started life as a Poulan Wild Thing, now look at it! Monstrous growths, unconscionable weight, and ugly as hell!
Only you can prevent positus. Several precations seem to mitigate and lessen the symptoms.
Thanks, and remember, keep pos free!
The symptoms begin slowly, but quickly become increasingly alarming. The afflicted saw may become exposed to grunting men in get'r done apparel drinking beers and brandishing various tools, welders, torches, spray paint, and plumbing pipe. Early contact may leave saws looking like this, with various protrusions from their gluteus muffleus members. When running, the saw will invariably be obnoxiously loud, which is aggravated by a constant blipping and pegging of the twiddle dinger.
If your chainsaw looks like this, don't worry, a good technician can restore your saws health, maybe with as little as a new gluteus muffleus member, but maybe as extensively as requiring a new esophogus pistonius and sphincter ring.
The important thing is to take prompt and decisive action to quell the spread of the virus. Failure to do so may lead to deformed and abnormal growths on the gluteus muffleus, as in this case.
Saws in this condition are approaching the advanced stages of pos. There's not much hope at this point. The saw is no longer able to run for more than a few seconds, and it is invariably surrounded by grunting, beer swilling ogres. If you have saws at this stage of pos, you need to destroy and bury them to quell the spread of the pos syndrome. Otherwise, they will end up like this poor saw. It started life as a Poulan Wild Thing, now look at it! Monstrous growths, unconscionable weight, and ugly as hell!
Only you can prevent positus. Several precations seem to mitigate and lessen the symptoms.
- Keep beer and tools in separate locations.
- keep fingers out of noses
- wear deoderant
- learn the difference between a chisel and a screwdriver
- No matter what, never say "Hey Billy Bob! Watch this!"
Thanks, and remember, keep pos free!
Last edited:
opcorn:
