Wideopen,
I'm not the first guy to ask you this, but please live up to your name.
Grab the yellow pages, get a couple QUALIFIED (adequately trained, sufficiently experienced, and suitably(sp?) equipped) arborists to give you a quote. If these trees are menacing your house the way you say they are, the time that has passed since your original post is more time than I would want to live under them. TC165 has hit the nail on the head. We on this site have about as much chance of giving you fool-proof instructions to get these trees/limbs down with no adverse affect to life, limb or property as a pilot has talking down an inexperienced passenger who wants to land his own plane to save on the cost of a pilot
.
To top it off, if you try it and fail, you personally contribute to our industry accident stats! If your potential pain and suffering isn't enough to dissuade you, think of the people trying to help you.
In my definition of qualified I left out insured. You should not.
PS, your apparent unwillingness to listen to the advice of people you refer to as expert places you in the unenviable position of having been forewarned of a hazard. I am an ISA Certified Arborist and ISA Certified Tree worker, with over ten years of experience, and, in my opinion, the trees as described by you, and/or the work proposed may indeed present significant risk of damage or injury and requires further assessment by a qualified arborist. Now that you have been told.... again... what a bad idea this sounds like, are you certain that your insurance will cover the tab for your roof? your casts and stitches? your time off work spent under your now leaky roof? Due dilligence suggests not.
A different offer. Get a work permit, come to Alberta, spend the season working with us. I guarantee that by the end of the season (if you make it that long) you will have the requisite skills and knowledge to assess the risks and determine from an informed vantage point whether you want to tackle the job. You may or may not be up to the job (probably not, if you don't display better listening skills), but you will know what it will take. If you can last till the end of the season (October), and I don't feel that you can assess the tree competently, I will come down and blow off the limbs myself.
Read almost any other thread you like, and you will see that most on this site are generous with knowledge, tips, and techniques. Spreading it around can only advance our industry. You have seen dissenting opinions relating to the tone of the various replies, but no takers on your request for online removal lessons. Why? Get smart! We are trying to help you.
One man's (over long) opinion.
Codie