firewood sales, i thought i had heard it all

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There is one time when Its ok to go into a customers home and build a fire , they are single cougar moms who just need a helpin hand and in SanDiego there are quite a few who just need a little wood. Thats the only exception though.haha


That's right, Thats right!!! :agree2:

:biggrinbounce2: :biggrinbounce2:
:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:
 
The comments range from bad......the wood is too dry.

To worse.....trade ya poon for wood....come on...you ain't gay are ya?


S'pose they're all compliments to the product, and service, but some days, well.....
 
Im in the same boat here in SanDiego, granted it doesn't get as cold and snow we still have a pretty good firewood market. My favorite is the , " your wood doesn't burn", when they show me what they are doing holding a match or lighter to a big chunk of oak. People are pretty clueless here. WOndering why it won't burn.

"Clueless" doesn't quite describe it Brother.. I'm about 2 hours north of you!! I'm suprised cali's can still strick a match! (regretfully i have to admit I was born here):bang:
 
What do these people do in their spare time? They need to get on the ArborsitSite.com and get educated on how to build a fire!!!! Geezepetes!!!!

Is it unethical to tell them to use gasoline to start their fire? Or is it only unethical if they don't have insurance....HA HA. some people surprise me in that they function day-to-day. No common sense anymore!
 
I don't sell wood, but I had a genius looking at the wood pile one day who told me I was gonna freeze my ass off because my wood was all rotten.

...because the bark was falling off. I didn't even argue with him.

That's why I don't sell wood.
 
Some of these people sound like they are totally helpless, the ones that can't start a fire. They are the one that should be turning up the thermostat to their propane or fuel oil furnaces.
 
Here it goes boys and girls, flame at will :help: : if you can't have some respect for ignorance in your CUSTOMERS, pick another profession. :deadhorse:

Damn, would your Proctologist tell you how stupid you are 'cause you don't know what's up your colon ? :hmm3grin2orange: C'mon, get some brains.
Firewood CSD ain't proctology......or is it to you ?

Maybe you'd like to go to jump school @ Bragg. Then the JM (Jump Master) would call you F'in stupid. Some of you need to get real. What an attitude towards those that pay your way !!! :sucks:

I'm pi$$ed. I am dismissed.:bowdown:
 
Some of these people sound like they are totally helpless, the ones that can't start a fire. They are the one that should be turning up the thermostat to their propane or fuel oil furnaces.



It's worse than that. I went on one of my boy's Cub Scout outings, and the guy teaching fire starting (for the umpteenth year in a row!) couldn't do a decent job of starting a fire! :dizzy: Oh, he got it started, but he sure worked way too hard at it!
 
Motto for all the stupid customers :

"FIREWOOD....IT'S PROCTOLOGY"
:hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange:
 
Make up a "How To Start A Fire" cheat sheet, along with 10 of the most common questions or mistakes with it. Leave one at every firewood delivery. Might cut back on a lot of of the call backs and D.A. complaints. Preventing even one would be worth the printing costs.
 
Make up a "How To Start A Fire" cheat sheet, along with 10 of the most common questions or mistakes with it. Leave one at every firewood delivery. Might cut back on a lot of of the call backs and D.A. complaints. Preventing even one would be worth the printing costs.

:agree2:

Yep, I have a little tip sheet I give out to suspected newbies- how to light, how to keep it dry, BTUs of different woods, etc. Makes you actually look like you know something and then, wonder-of-wonders, people call you back for more.

Helping people, what a concept!
 
i hate to say this but these are funny,,its hard to believe people are that stupid,,,you all need to tell them the best way to start a fire in the fire place is to throw several big logs in,,,add 3 cups of 93 octane gas,,and flick your bic,,:biggrinbounce2::hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange:
 
i hate to say this but these are funny,,its hard to believe people are that stupid,,,you all need to tell them the best way to start a fire in the fire place is to throw several big logs in,,,add 3 cups of 93 octane gas,,and flick your bic,,:biggrinbounce2::hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange:

Don't get me started....too late..
Stupid...what would you call a contractor that goes against your installation direction and even heating code?
Please get this...the contractor starts out with..."I've been in the busines for 30 years"!

So for a homeowner making rookie mistakes...that's nothing.
A few simple questions while making the delivery will tell you all you need to know....and even if they know the basics a poorly installed appliance will still give them trouble and it could look like you brought crap wood.When it really has nothing to do with your well seasoned very dry hardwood.
:bang::bang::bang::bang:
 
Good one for you,

I have an IWB in my basement. Basement has 5 full cords of dry wood in it. Out back of the barn has 12 full cords. I live on a 0.6 acre lot in town with not a single stump in my yard.

My sister in-laws boyfriend asked me if I had cut all the wood from my property. I couldn't help but bust out laughing.

Where did he think all the stumps went? Too funny.

He is not stupid, just didn't think it thru. People who can't think before they act deserve a little ribbing. IMO

Marty
 
good one for you,

i have an iwb in my basement. Basement has 5 full cords of dry wood in it. Out back of the barn has 12 full cords. I live on a 0.6 acre lot in town with not a single stump in my yard.

My sister in-laws boyfriend asked me if i had cut all the wood from my property. I couldn't help but bust out laughing.

Where did he think all the stumps went? Too funny.

He is not stupid, just didn't think it thru. People who can't think before they act deserve a little ribbing. Imo

marty

lol
 
When I delivered cut and split firewood, I almost always got this:

"I only wanted ONE cord!!"

I have to tell them that "this IS one cord.."..they are so used to buying short cords that they are surprised at how much wood is in a full cord.
 
When I delivered cut and split firewood, I almost always got this:

"I only wanted ONE cord!!"

I have to tell them that "this IS one cord.."..they are so used to buying short cords that they are surprised at how much wood is in a full cord.

talk about earning customer loyalty!!!!:bowdown:
 
Have you ever had the wonderful expierence of going and delivery, unloading and stacking the wood only to have the customer then tell you that they have no way of paying for the wood?

I had that one last year. A guy called me up gave me directions to his place, only about 5 miles away. My son and I pulled in and he came running out and said follow me, I need to have you out it at my girlfriends house. About 12 miles further down the road we pull into a nice farmhouse. We unload, stack and give him our invoice, a whopping 70.00 for two face cords and he tells us he has no way of paying for it. I was literally at a loss for words. I thought about it and ask if he had anything to trade. He thought about it and says I have a wood stove back at my place that's not hooked up. I thought it prolly would be a barrel stove, but it turned out to be a medium sized Fisher, that had set out in the weather behind his house. Told him I would take it and call it even if he loaded it with his tractor. Took the stove home, spent about 10.00 on sandpaper and another 20.00 on stove paint and got 250.00 out of the stove.

Now I have people pay before one stick hits the ground. If any ask why I tell them the story.

I have had several people ask if they can buy walnut or sycamore cheaper that oak. Hell, at 35.00 a rick deleivered for seasoned oak, how much cheaper do they want. The answer is always nope, takes the same work to cut crap as it does good wood.
 

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