Huh ?

[treechick]

Just for fun, how 'bout ribbing our customers a bit ? Any good ones out there ?
..."How much would we save if my my brother-in-law cuts down the tree and you just clean up the stuff?"

 

[John Paul Sanborn]

"we did the easy stuff, and want you finnish what's over the roof"

And there are no rigging points left....

as you're packing up the rope "could you go get that one, up there, over the skylight? it blocks the sun from coming in. Sorry I forgot to mention that in the first place, but it really was the whole reason for having you here."

 

[Jumper]

As you are removing a nasty Manitoba Maple filled with concrete which is about to keel over onto neighbour's $50K Volvo, neighbour approaches and gives you hell for removing all the tree canopy in their lovely (and upscale) Glebe neighbourhood. Never mind that the tree is a piece of junk and an accident waiting to happen....

Another neighbour giving me hell for listening to a talk show (no music) on our break. Didn't I know theirs was a quiet neighbourhood. Never mind it was January, the truck was parked on a public street, and everyone's windows were closed. Just wanted to be a b*tch.

 

[John Paul Sanborn]

Or you have "arty ears" from all those planes and weapons fire, and she could hear your radio in the back of her 5k sqft house

 

[treechick]

A couple more for encouragement...
Had a brush pile job (ain't they DOGS 99.9% of the time ? When will I learn???) that I had so grossly underbid that the only thing for it was just to hold our chins up and get it done. The customer knew that we'd been done so dry that our bum's hurt, and walks up to us at the end with what looked to be a tip in his hand. "Thank Gawwd!", I thought... atleast some lunch $ for the crew. It was a bunch of religious pamphlets. When he set them in my hand, I just stared at them, unmoving & unblinking. "I'll pray for you." , told him... and wouldn't move a muscle or my dead-eye gaze until he walked away.

Had a lady call me up in utter conniptions because my guys cut the WRONG DEAD BRANCH off of what was the poorest excuse for a Russian Olive as I've ever witnessed. "That was the branch for my bird feeder, and I've been enjoying that for over 15 yrs.", says she. I offered to glue one back on, honestly, and she about laid an egg! "Now you're just being a smartass." (whimper whimper) True as Bob, I went out and bought a $50 freestanding birdfeeder and delivered it to her personally. "I'll still never hire you again", she pouts at me. I smiled at her big as Texas... "Is that a promise ?"

 

[JonnyHart]

I hate when that happens

What about when they flop all the uprights, all the high crotches, and leave a bunch of branches sticking out over the house?Nothing to tie into, nothing to rig off of.

 

[Ny finest]

I cut down a 40in,135ft cottonwood in the middle of the gehtto.The ladies yard was a mess,but she made it clear that she wanted no damage to her "lawn".After two days of work I was finally ready to pick up payment and she asks what am I going to do with the sawdust.Thinking she's talking about the chips in the truck I answered appropiatley.She said she thought I would vaccum it out of her 6-8in tall grass.I couldn't help but laugh.

 

[tinman44]

I cut down a 40in,135ft cottonwood in the middle of the gehtto.The ladies yard was a mess,but she made it clear that she wanted no damage to her "lawn".After two days of work I was finally ready to pick up payment and she asks what am I going to do with the sawdust.Thinking she's talking about the chips in the truck I answered appropiatley.She said she thought I would vaccum it out of her 6-8in tall grass.I couldn't help but laugh.

shoulda said when you cut the grass it will distribute evenly

 

[Jumper]

Or you have "arty ears" from all those planes and weapons fire, and she could hear your radio in the back of her 5k sqft house

Not me, I always wore hearing protection having grown up with a Grandma who could not hear a thing. I could have seen the point if I was listening to acid rock on a huge system, but this was a one speaker AM only radio on a Ford truck. She was just being a B*tch, and BTW I still have the address......

 

[clearance]

Went to do a res. job with big removals 100ft+ firs beside the house. The owner was nervous and asked me "do you guys know what your doing?" I looked him right in the eye and said very calmly and serious "Havent really done this kind of stuff before, but we read a book and watched a video about it last night". As the day went on he started to relax a bit. We fell some pretty big butt logs right by the house for the logging truck. Doug. fir no problem but after in front of him I wiped my face and said "whew, rolled the dice on that one" Ya gotta have fun.

 

[Meesterbeeg]

Tree guy: So, do you have any water, sewer, or irrigation lines running over here (pointing to the drop zone)?
Customer: Nah, nuthin over here to worry 'bout.
Tree guy: Great! We'll start blocking this oak tree right here (pointing to where very large chunks of wood will fall).
Customer: Let her rip, git-er-done boys!
Tree guy: All clear?
Groundsman: All clear!
Saw: RRRRRRRRRRRR! RRRRRRRRRRR!
Log: Swoooooooosh!
Ground: Thuuuuuuug!
Water: Gurgle, gurgle.
Customer: Oh yeah, forgot about that one. Ya'll gonna fix that, right?

 

[topndrop]

I still like the one where we show up at the job site, ring the bell, no answer... Boss says to go ahead anyway and he'll swing by for payment later in the day. We get all set to start (dead-wooding and lifting several sweet-gums), me in my gear and half-way up the tree when the lady of the house comes out on the porch... looks up at me... smiles... and says.............. WAIT FOR IT................

"When you take off the branches, try not to cut off any leaves....

=== OR ===

Standing in yard trimming out Holly-Hock with 20' pruning pole. chainsaws and assorted gear all over work site (all day job). Guys are loading debris into dumptruck with our logo all over it.... Neighbor walks up and politely asks...............

WAIT FOR IT............................................................

"Do you fellas work for a tree company?"

 

[TheTreeSpyder]

Ummmmmm, we took down the right tree right?

Q: Can u get that down without hitting house?
A: Heck, i figure that is why i'm here, u could hit house with that limb by yourself without hiring help, right?

Q: How ya gonna do that?
A: We will just hang a SkyHook thar; and let it support the weight of the limb over house
"Oh, Okay!, when you want to do it?"

Q: "How come you are the only one that climbs?"
A: "Nobody else has small enough hips to fit in that 8' slingshot he is holding"

No sir, topping is not just giving a haircut; a haircut is dead tissue removal only.

 

[treechick]

"These trees are going to get that Dutch Elm Tree Disease, aren't they?"
"Uhh, no M'am, I don't think there's really much danger of that."
"Well, how do you know?"
"Because they're pine trees, M'am."

 

[SamT]

Took down a fulllly mature black Walnut (trunk was 5' off garage, canopy spread over garage, house, and new extension), and took it all through a 20" gate. when we got done, he asked why the 35' been pole walnut in the open cost so much less.

 

[geofore]

Don't laugh

I cut down a 40in,135ft cottonwood in the middle of the gehtto.The ladies yard was a mess,but she made it clear that she wanted no damage to her "lawn".After two days of work I was finally ready to pick up payment and she asks what am I going to do with the sawdust.Thinking she's talking about the chips in the truck I answered appropiatley.She said she thought I would vaccum it out of her 6-8in tall grass.I couldn't help but laugh.

Reverse set up on the leaf blower and you can vaccum up the sawdust in the lawn but you need to cut the grass short BEFORE you do the tree. I had one customer last year who's wife had him out there vaccuming up the pine needles with his leaf blower after I took down the pine trees and started to rake up. The leaf blower was even picking up some sod. He had 9 trash bags of debris. Yes, some people Vaccum up the lawn with their leaf blowers. I kidd you not! They are that nuts about their lawns.

 

[John Paul Sanborn]

Reverse set up on the leaf blower and you can vaccum ...

And use your tarps for all limbing and bucking cuts, it will save a lot of time. I know the saw about "working smarter" is over used, but one can do it.

Treating customers of all classes the same is only smart buisness, and ensuring that they understand that price breaks require them to do some of the work only makes geting the payment easier.

In otherwords when it comes to expeectations, the problem lies with our sales communications, not with the clients interpretation.

 

[jmchristopher]

A client asks me to look at a nasty little Mulberry in a tight side garden with utility lines and fences all around. The neighbor's drive runs about 18 feet away, so I knock on the door there and ask permission to use their drive to access the tree with our bucket truck. The 20-ish year old son smiles and says "Sure, no problem!" I write up my proposal based on easy access. Next morning we swing by, and I knock on the door to check tht nobody needs to get a car out for the next half hour. Mrs. Neighbor says "No problem!" so we get the truck in there and start work. Then I make the BIG mistake: I mention to Mrs. Neighbor that there are a few dead branches on the oak over where her Mercedes was parked the day before, which we could prune and clean up for a minimal consideration. (We would have to move the truck, then prune 5 or 6 branches up to 3" dia., and clean up. I quoted an hour's charge - nominal, in my opinion.) She says "sounds reasonable, let me call my husband, though." Mr. Neighbor comes on the cell phone, Mrs. N.'s face turns red and she hands me the phone. He says, "I'm not going to let you do anything for my neighbor, that SOB, unless you prune my branches. You'll do it for nothing or get your truck the h*ll out of my driveway!"
What would you do?...I smiled and said SURE!, and thought that I sure didn't want his karma.

 

[Dadatwins]

Did a stone dead atlanthus tree in a backyard next to a house, nothing live to tie into, spiking up real slow and easy, spikes sinking to the root in the almost powdered wood. A few careful slow cuts so as not to shake the tree to much and have it fall apart. Quickly get it all down, so I can back on the ground, drop the shaft that splits open when it hits the ground, go back to the truck to get some water, sit down and get my heart-rate back below 100 and the homeowner says, " I was going to do that myself, but I'm glad I didn't it looked too dangerous, but I thought it would have taken longer." "Any discount since it came down so fast"

 

[treechick]

We had a guy call up and say we cracked his driveway with our equipment. Boss went out to have a look at it within 2 days. "Right there", the customer points at the driveway as they're both standing over it. Bossman says, "That one right there ??? With the dandelion growing out of it ?"
We've been blamed for some unbelievable stuff... everything from doggy fence won't work (on a no stump grinding job), to 3-doors-down neighbor's entry light burning out.