Ten things I hate about you

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avalancher said:
The rest of them are tourists that have a tendency to look down on the "working" class of guys such as myself.The mtn cabin rental folks have got to be the worst to deal with.
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My SIL gets the look of "gee your husband makes you do such hard work delivering this wood" kind of look from some people. She is about 5'3" on a good day. Little do they know she loves it (keeps her in shape) and she has her hands on the money first before my brother does. Most of her deliveries are back up, collect the money, pull the dump levers, close up the tailgate and leave. She also enjoys scaring the pee out of people that pull out in front of her as she lays on the airhorn. People do not expect an F450 to sound like a semi-bearing down on them. She ain't no fool. :)
 
Curlycherry1 said:
Psst, I hate to break it to you but maybe the Earth trying to lose you. :):):)
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Well I wish it the best of luck with that. Sounds nice.

On the appearance subject, I wholeheartedly agree. Look like someone you'd trust in your back yard, not someone that would leave you wondering if they were coming back at 2am with an empty truck and help.

Ian
 
Haywire Haywood said:
On the appearance subject, I wholeheartedly agree. Look like someone you'd trust in your back yard, not someone that would leave you wondering if they were coming back at 2am with an empty truck and help.
Ian
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There was one guy that sold in my area and he had the nicest trucks that he bought new every 5-6 years and he beat the crap out of them. He was a cutter and chucker (sold green right from the woods) and so he delivered after working all day in the woods. Customers told me you could smell him as soon as he backed into the driveway. He also looked absolutely horrible in every sense of the word. I sent several customers to him that wanted big quantities of wood and had the time to let it dry in their yards. He was far cheaper than I could be and I had more sales than I could handle. Several customers came back to me just because of the way he looked and acted.

When I was in highschool delivering wood I often brought my girlfriend with me at the time. I could trust her for help backing up a driveway in the dark, and it got her out of the house if ya know what I mean. Her parents loved me because I was such a nice boy earning all that money and working so hard. Customers would see my GF and would be taken aback that such a nice girl (she was not hard on the eyes and she always dressed really nice) was working doing deliveries with her boyfriend.
 
Sometimes you just gotta laugh

avalancher:
I've gotten some good laughs out of a few of your posts, you have a great sense of humor, and that's what will get you through the tough times.

I got it the first time, but your second list wasn't bad either.

Tried to rep ya, but I gotta "spread it around"

P.S.
I usually tell my wood delivery guy I want the wood 1" longer, and not split quite so small!
 
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What about those of us who have taken a day off from work because we have to be home for whatever chore or delivery is supposedly on the way, and they never show up. Or they don't show up until late in the day, or, the specialist yahoo cancels within 2 hours, and says he isn't going to show up ever, and you had to really hunt to get him. I've tried to charge the latter for my time, but was unsuccessful.

It works both ways.
 
avalancher said:
Here, I did a few minor changes to my list, maybe this will be more to your liking?

1. Of course I take checks!.I take checks,cash, all major credit cards, food stamps, dead and live chickens, farm produce, your first born as long as he is potty trained, pesos, euros, canadian currency, a quickie with your wife or oldest daughter.
Car parts, tractor parts, barn wood, owl droppings, chicken manure, cow dung, doggie doo doos.
computer parts, wood carvings, good used tires, loads of gravel, firewood, peat moss, flowers,old newspapers, aluminum,brass,copper and other scrap metal.We take any form of payment!

2.You have a lovely home.I am hoping that the few particles of wood chips that fall from my truck will not bother you until I have the time to sweep them up.

3.You have such a lively little doggie.He looks so cute attached to my brand new levis.Whats his name?

4.Dont mind the scratches on my truck, I needed a new one anyway.The worried look on my face from your driveway being stapled on the side of a hill will go away once the afore mentioned doggie tears my leg off.How cute!

5.This is the finest firewood you have ever had delivered.May I lay a fire for you?

6.I give discounts to veterans, old folks, white folks, black folks, illegal immigrants, dog and cat owners, and anyone who has a fireplace or woodstove.
7.I may be a rip off artist, but I am the friendliest rip off artist you have ever met.I will be happy to stop at the sheriffs office on the way home and politely request 164 lashes.

8.I am happy to deliver in a snow storm.It merly provides me with a little excitement that is so lacking in my life.

9.I turned at the herd of goats like you suggested.Eleven hours later ,but hey, here I am!

10. Maam,you look lovely in that pink bathrobe!My, you certainly are well endowed!My wife would be so jealous!May I have your autograph?You remind me of Michael Jackson...ummm, I mean Whitney Houston. Firewood is on me today!
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That's more like it bucko.
 
Thought of another two:

Yes my 20,000#+ truck is probably going to trash your asphalt driveway if you are living in a tract house built by a cheap SOB builder and you have ~2" of asphalt laid over quicksand. Yep, I am probably going to sink right out of sight and when that 100,000# wrecker comes to pull me out, I am going to leave ~18" deep ruts 2' wide all the way to real asphalt which will be the road. Then my tires are going to dump about 3 yards of your lawn and driveway all over the road as I drive away. Sorry but the dirt will be very well packed into and between the tires and the only way it is coming out is under centrifugal force.

No I will not drive my 8' wide 20000#+ truck around your garage and between your fence where there is 8'-1" of clearance, across your precious grass that has been watered to oblivion by the last monsoon rain we just had, all in order to get across your backyard to dump the load 100' from your house. No I will not do that because as soon as those dual wheels hit your grass I am going to be so close to China my truck will not even be able to dump its load.
 
I learned a long time ago it is no fun to deal with the general public. I was in the service business for 30 years, I have heard and seen it all.
 
slowp said:
What about those of us who have taken a day off from work because we have to be home for whatever chore or delivery is supposedly on the way, and they never show up. Or they don't show up until late in the day, or, the specialist yahoo cancels within 2 hours, and says he isn't going to show up ever, and you had to really hunt to get him. I've tried to charge the latter for my time, but was unsuccessful.

It works both ways.
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You are so right on this one, I couldnt agree more.For as many uncooperative homeowners there are are, there are just as many unreliable delivery guys. I strive to make everyone happy with each and every delivery,but it appears that in many ways the economy is driving along this general "unhappiness" that seems to plague so many folks.They got ripped off last time from some guy that delivered green wood that had been soaking in a wheel barrow for the past 2 months,then they take it out on the next guy without even giving him a chance to make em happy.
Of the 11 deliveries I made this past weekend, 6 of those folks pointed to their existing woodpile and mentioned that it would not burn.On each and everyone of these cases, all were the result of buying from some guy who delivered real cheap, in some cases half of what I charge.
 
avalancher said:
Folks, dont get me wrong, all these things are not common occurences in deliveries,but rather an accumulation of years making deliveries.
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oxbow said:
avalancher:
I've gotten some good laughs out of a few of your posts, you have a great sense of humor, and that's what will get you through the tough times.
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I was happy to see that the thread wasn't inspired by a an extremely hellish single day of deliveries.

And I'm always torn when I see an avalancher thread.

Part of me thinks, 'oh boy gotta click on that one and read what he's been up to!'

But there's often an underlying premise of misfortune, which makes me for a moment feel guilty.

I usually get over it pretty quick.
 
I Agree with WOODBOOGA. Every time I see a AVALANCHER post I make sure I am not eating anything, because in the past it would end up on my computer screen from laughing so hard.

What ever happened to AVALANCHER's new sidekick from Atlanta? I Wonder if he still helps out after that cat event.

If any one is wondering just do a search for avalanchers posts. Make sue you are not eating .

Beefie
 
poeple like you.............

gorrie16 said:
I'm the fence with this post. This probably wont make friends here I understand that your job is to produce and deliver as much firewood as possible as quickly as possible. But when someone is paying you an agreed upon amount of money for X amount of firewood, you being the service provider should be at least friendly to the people forking over the cash. If you dont like it you can take you truck full of wood and go some where else. If i was your customer and I was treated poorly (based on your post), I'd tell you to get the hell out of my driveway.

With that being said, I agree that your customers should be ready for your delievery with the spot its going ready to accept the wood. Whenever I get a delivery of any type I make sure the delivery person has an easy enough time doing their job as possible.

I know and I'm sure others on this site have been burned by firewood deliveries before and I'm sure it will happen to others (not saying you screw people) but when burned in the past I know I wouldnt make the same mistakes I made the first. The extra care on my part would probably piss many firewood delivery people off. My wallet is my main concern though, not yours.
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are why southern New England sucks.

no wonder folks are leaving in droves.
 
gorrie16 said:
If i was your customer and I was treated poorly (based on your post), I'd tell you to get the hell out of my driveway.
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Can someone help me here? Please? :help: Pretty please?


I'm trying to find the place where there's something about treating people poorly, and I can't find it.

Can somebody show me where that part is?


Sorry to be a bother, but I'd really like to get mad about it, too. :help:




BTW, I have never sold firewood, and have no plans to ever do so. I have bought a few loads, though.
 

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