Twas a half day of school for my lil chitlin today. I had to pick her up at 11 which means I get in the pick-up line at 10 soes I can grab her quick. I spent the hour reading an article in Rolling Stone about how the NRA is killing us and dozed for a spell listening to the soft rain revelling to the smell of my new truck.
Then we drove up to Longstreth to get a new softball bat since she ovaled her last one beating it on the chainlink fence posts. I should have handed out one of my cards considering they had trees that needed pruned off the buildings but the women in there seemed a little dykey and appeared to take offense to my manly stature. I dunno, maybe its me, maybe its them but I still was a little nervous... especially when i saw what they were charging for ball bats.
So we did lunch all civil and such then went to Target for basis staples and such. The kid was tossing outfits and toys in the cart telling me I had to buy them. I said "no" and told her that she should have brough her purse considering I am paying 20 bucks per tooth plus the fact that she can whine 50 bucks out of me without even trying very hard. So she has a knot of cash that she don't want to spend when she can spend mine. Dam smart for seven I suppose, I give her 5 bucks for every test she aces, which is all of them, (thanks mom) I am going broke... happily. I am surprised we got out of there for 48 bucks. Ten of which was for clothes hangers and I don't even use clothes hangers, I just stuff that #### into a drawer you know.
We got home around two without me driving into the river on purpose and played ball for awhile. I made up some excuse for not being able to get on the ####ing tramapoline and then rode our bikes around the corner to 84 year old Mrs. Ludwick's where I implored her to tell me how to survive.
She told me her father built a house out of brick, lost it in The Great Depression then built another out of stone right next to the first one then showed me a picture of her 1949 Subaru. The old man got the stone from clearing farm land and the house still stands today. She usually pours a couple glasses of wine but we had to beat it to karate.
After I dumped lil chitlin off there I hit the gas station where I talked it up with some contractors and handed out some cards then made for the leekwo sto. Then my X best friend's X wife called me to tell me she was on her way over so I could put a battery in her car, her and her " boy" stayed for dinner which ended up winding my kid up so much she was throwing clementines at me til I tossed one back then it was her and her mother telling how mean I am til the lil chitlin got a bath, gave me a hug and went to ####ing bed! Alls quiet on the western front but I am still locked and cocked ready to slit the throat of the first enemy that appears on the horizon. Don't let it be you cause we all know we can't stand each other but deep down we know we need each other and don't forget it.