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Hey let's translate this ad for all of you who are actually thinking about contacting these characters: (the original ad is in quotes...)

"Free land clearing anywhere within 10-15 minuets of Voorhhesville, Or near albany."

We are too damn lazy to travel any further, or the vehicle we stole only has enough gas in it to go 15 miles, or it won't stay running long enough to go any further.

"We dont have insurance but can sign a contract saying we cant hold you reponsable if anything happens."

We are going to drop a tree or twenty on your house and then run before you can copy down our license plate number. You won't be 'responsable' but neither will we.

"If you are really picky then go ahead and pay thousands of dollars for a company to do it."

We want to alert you that there are qualified excavating, land clearing or arborist services who ARE insured and charge appropriately for their time and expertise.

"We do not grind stumps we will just cut the trees and houl out."

We don’t have the proper equipment or inclination to do a good job, we just want to get in and get out fast. We'll make sure to leave the stumps sticking up at least three feet and pointy too.

“We clear your land for free and in return we get the wood.”

We invade your property, clearcut it, and steal all the good sawlogs and firewood. You get NOTHING but an empty lot – but wait, there’s more!

“THE BRANCHES ARE YOUR PROBLEM we will just leave them were they fall or if you have shredder i will shredd them.”

I am going to emphasize here that all the #### we don’t want will be scattered haphazardly all over your land, leaving you with one hell of a mess to clean up and nothing to show for it. I suppose that if you have a decent chipper, I will cram a bunch of it through the chipper (and I’ll make sure to toss a few rocks in for good measure) until the thing jams up, breaks or we get all the wood we want. Then we’ll take off and leave you with the mess anyway.

“The wood must be 90%+ GOOD HARDWOOD such as maple oak black walnut cherry etc. less than 10% garbadge wood like pine.”

I only want stuff I can resell to your neighbor, unless that 10% pine happens to be nice clean sawlogs, in which case we’ll take those too and leave you some tops.

“ thanks a bunch email me at [email protected] we will be cutting on saturdays only”

Thanks for being a SUCKER, chump. And by the way – I spend my weekdays banging your wife like a screen door in a hurricane, so I can only work on Saturdays when you’re home. Either that, or I’m drunk and watching Oprah Monday through Friday. And it's obvious I only have a third-grade education, so what else CAN I do with my time?
 
Wow, cool thread. So listen to this:

Found a guy on craigslist to barter wood for electrical work. I loved the idea since I was out of work and had no money to pay for wood and had no money to pay oil company to fill my tank.

We agreed on 4 car loads for a whole days worth of work possibly 2 days. So thats like a cord of wood for $360.($30x12hrs) I didn't mind. It was all Oak!

I got there. at 9am like we said. He didn't answer his door or phone. I figured I can take a car load of wood now and then the rest when I'm done. Like a deposit. I left him a message on the phone saying this. I was 10 minutes away from my house.

Finally at 9:45 I call him again, and told him what the plan was... He said "I know, I was watching you the whole time."
FISHY!

I started the work, he tells me another contractor was remodeling then stopped mid way. The house was a pig sty. Bathrooms were half remodeled.

I did 3.5 hours worth of work. Its now 1:30pm. I had my brother meet me there to help me with some of the work and to take the lunch time to help me bring a car load of wood back home.

So...re-cap...took 1 car load in the morning, was going to bring 2 car loads back home at lunch with brother..then finally the last one when I was done...

I told the guy the plan and he flips out. He said stop working! I told him it wasn't all going to be done today. He said he needs it done in 1 day. I said I would be there till 10pm! He flips out! Told me to pack up and leave. I told him I was taking another load of wood! He didn't like that and told me not to.

I said I would send him a bill for the work I did.

3.5 hours of work and I only got 1/4 of a cord. $120 worth of work for $50 worth of wood??? Wood that was sitting for 2 years UNCOVERED!


THEN I FOUND OUT, THE WOOD WAS ROTTED!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!
WHAT A SCAM ARTIST!!!!!!
 
Last edited:
Wow, cool thread. So listen to this:

Found a guy on craigslist to barter wood for electrical work. I loved the idea since I was out of work and had no money to pay for wood and had no money to pay oil company to fill my tank.

We agreed on 4 car loads for a whole days worth of work possibly 2 days. So thats like a cord of wood for $360.($30x12hrs) I didn't mind. It was all Oak!

I got there. at 9am like we said. He didn't answer his door or phone. I figured I can take a car load of wood now and then the rest when I'm done. Like a deposit. I left him a message on the phone saying this. I was 10 minutes away from my house.

Finally at 9:45 I call him again, and told him what the plan was... He said "I know, I was watching you the whole time."
FISHY!

I started the work, he tells me another contractor was remodeling then stopped mid way. The house was a pig sty. Bathrooms were half remodeled.

I did 3.5 hours worth of work. Its now 1:30pm. I had my brother meet me there to help me with some of the work and to take the lunch time to help me bring a car load of wood back home.

So...re-cap...took 1 car load in the morning, was going to bring 2 car loads back home at lunch with brother..then finally the last one when I was done...

I told the guy the plan and he flips out. He said stop working! I told him it wasn't all going to be done today. He said he needs it done in 1 day. I said I would be there till 10pm! He flips out! Told me to pack up and leave. I told him I was taking another load of wood! He didn't like that and told me not to.

I said I would send him a bill for the work I did.

3.5 hours of work and I only got 1/4 of a cord. $120 worth of work for $50 worth of wood??? Wood that was sitting for 2 years UNCOVERED!


THEN I FOUND OUT, THE WOOD WAS ROTTED!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!
WHAT A SCAM ARTIST!!!!!!

ought to turn him in to the building inspector for having work done without a permit... wonder how he would like it if his house was condemned...LOL
 
FREE Chest type Freezer

FREE Chest type Freezer - dead and heavy (Stoney Creek/Elizabethton)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2009-10-11, 10:01PM EDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Vintage if not antique. This wonderful 6 ft chest type freezer can be yours Absolutely free!!!

just bring your pickup truck and about 6 of your favorite drinking buddies to pick it up. I think it is heavier than small car! I could barely push it around to the garage door on a paved basement floor. don't expect any helping loading it as I am now resting on grandmaw's new vibrating hospital bed and I probably won't be able (or willing) to move for the next 3 days.

I honestly do not care if you use it as a boat anchor, salvage it for real money or drill big holes in the top and sides and use it for a dog box on your hunting truck. Just come and get this dang thing out of grandmaw's garage!

Ps, poster not responsible for whatever fool-headed ideas you have for using this thing.

But to give you a few more...

1. Put wheels on it and ride it down the mountain, remove the top of course.
2. Dig a really big hole and have a perfect deer feeder. Is that legal??
3. Dig a really big hole and hide your mother-in-law in it. Please drill appropriate size holes in it.
4. Dig a really big hole, remove the compressor, remove the door seal and cut a hole in the lid and use for a compost garden
5. Garden, now that's an idea, put it on your back porch, fill with compost and plant a no-stoop Garden! Veggies right at elbow level. How convenient.

Now come and get this darn thing! PLEASE!!!

Oh and don't call and ask Grandmaw any stupid questions.
The freezer is approximately 74" long , 36" high, and 28" wide and Freakin heavy !!!

Call 423 474 2435 for directions. Please do not call after 9 at night. Grandmaw gets down right onery after her bedtime and I am leaving town in a few days so I won't be able to keep her from grabbing her shotgun if you wake her up.


Get the picture yet?


•Location: Stoney Creek/Elizabethton
•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



PostingID: 1417185638
 
FREE Chest type Freezer - dead and heavy (Stoney Creek/Elizabethton)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2009-10-11, 10:01PM EDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Vintage if not antique. This wonderful 6 ft chest type freezer can be yours Absolutely free!!!

just bring your pickup truck and about 6 of your favorite drinking buddies to pick it up. I think it is heavier than small car! I could barely push it around to the garage door on a paved basement floor. don't expect any helping loading it as I am now resting on grandmaw's new vibrating hospital bed and I probably won't be able (or willing) to move for the next 3 days.

I honestly do not care if you use it as a boat anchor, salvage it for real money or drill big holes in the top and sides and use it for a dog box on your hunting truck. Just come and get this dang thing out of grandmaw's garage!

Ps, poster not responsible for whatever fool-headed ideas you have for using this thing.

But to give you a few more...

1. Put wheels on it and ride it down the mountain, remove the top of course.
2. Dig a really big hole and have a perfect deer feeder. Is that legal??
3. Dig a really big hole and hide your mother-in-law in it. Please drill appropriate size holes in it.
4. Dig a really big hole, remove the compressor, remove the door seal and cut a hole in the lid and use for a compost garden
5. Garden, now that's an idea, put it on your back porch, fill with compost and plant a no-stoop Garden! Veggies right at elbow level. How convenient.

Now come and get this darn thing! PLEASE!!!

Oh and don't call and ask Grandmaw any stupid questions.
The freezer is approximately 74" long , 36" high, and 28" wide and Freakin heavy !!!

Call 423 474 2435 for directions. Please do not call after 9 at night. Grandmaw gets down right onery after her bedtime and I am leaving town in a few days so I won't be able to keep her from grabbing her shotgun if you wake her up.


Get the picture yet?


•Location: Stoney Creek/Elizabethton
•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



PostingID: 1417185638

This one is great!! Actually put some thought into it before posting.
 
Wow! GIFT grade oak!

Hey, this must be some good stuff! :D


Hot Wood by Daisy's Mom
Gift-Grade Seasoned Oak
For the Man or Woman Who Doesn't Need Anything
$275 per truck load, delivered and stacked
Oak kindling $45 per bundle, dried and tied

* Location: Bluemont VA

Around here, a cord goes anywhere from $120 to about $200, delivered.

Anybody want to be that "truckload" is a pickup bed? As in, NOT a full cord?
 
Anybody want to be that "truckload" is a pickup bed? As in, NOT a full cord?

Almost certainly...

And I see similiar ads around here from time to time, my guess is there is a nice niche market. I've seen similiar offers for an S-10 load delivered for $150.

There's a lot of folks who only burn for ambience and possibly if they power goes out. So they care more about nice looking wood, might like it stacked instead of dumped in the driveway, and a 1/4 to 1/2 cord may last them a season or two or three.
 
Almost certainly...

And I see similiar ads around here from time to time, my guess is there is a nice niche market. I've seen similiar offers for an S-10 load delivered for $150.

There's a lot of folks who only burn for ambience and possibly if they power goes out. So they care more about nice looking wood, might like it stacked instead of dumped in the driveway, and a 1/4 to 1/2 cord may last them a season or two or three.

I love it when those folks have moving sales. Especially if they're very occasional in their burning.

One free load I scored was off from a guy who asked me if I really wanted to take the wood away - on account of it being 'stale.'

I kid you not. Honest injun.
 
One free load I scored was off from a guy who asked me if I really wanted to take the wood away - on account of it being 'stale.'

I kid you not. Honest injun.


Hey, he was right! Wood does get stale!


But just like a stale loaf of bread, warm it a bit and it's just fine.


I've found that warming it in my woodstove works very well. :cheers:


:D
 
How can you not make snide remarks about asking for $8000 for a hollow maple tree that blew down in a storm?

This is the ad linked above, without the photos of a very old but ordinary yard tree maple:

Maple Tree Stump - $8000 (Rockville)
Date: 2009-10-14, 12:10PM EDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

Maple tree, great for a big back yard tree house rather then fire wood
One of Montgomery county largest. Blew over this spring.
6 feet diameter trunk. Soft in the center with
Solid perimeter. Will hollow out nicely. Nice even roots that flair
4 big branches emanating from the trunk at same point about 14 feet up from the bottom of the roots.
Great tree house brace with a latter inside. Start your own little Hobbit town.
Please, only legitimate questions, no snide remarks, thank you.
Call Peter anytime. 719-phone-number-removed-to-protect-the-stupid-and-or-overly-optimistic
Thank you
 
This one is from SE wisconsin. A bit pricey or am I crazy?

125 Year old Oak Tree hit by Lighting 2 years ago needs to be cut down.
About 70' tall, the base of the tree is about 10' in circumference, there is enough wood in this tree to last a very long time.
Well worth $500.00 and your time if you heat the house or shop with wood.

Reply by email only


Dave
 
Probably wants you to chip the brush and grind the stump in addition to paying $500 for the privilege of removing what's probably a dangerous tree from the lightning strike...
 
This one is from SE wisconsin. A bit pricey or am I crazy?

125 Year old Oak Tree hit by Lighting 2 years ago needs to be cut down.
About 70' tall, the base of the tree is about 10' in circumference, there is enough wood in this tree to last a very long time.
Well worth $500.00 and your time if you heat the house or shop with wood.



Hmmm. 10' circumference means roughly a 3' diameter. That makes it a very nice, but not remarkable oak.

Probably a couple of cords in there. Around here, that makes it worth about $250-$400, if cut, split, and delivered as seasoned firewood.

That means its value standing is about ZERO.
 
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