Idea for the ultimate argument thread!!
New splitting axe made with an exotictanium head, and synthetic handle. Inside the head is embedded moisture meter sensors, that automagically use a laser..uhh..wood species identifier. The embedded gadget chip compensates for everything, altitude, species, coriolis effect, friction heat from splitting, you name it. It bluetooth uploads all this data to your I thing, then rapapatappytalk uploads it in spreadsheet form to the cloud. Plus, it prints and attaches (with each swing) a barcode with embedded RFID chip to each piece for tracking purposes so the EPA can send you a bill for your legal,lawful splitting fees you are required to pay (after permit application and approval and inspection by an authority figure) and informs you which stove you are permitted, again more fees, to burn it in, and also which locale (another fee).