Rocks in Trees

[Menchhofer]

Read an article today in the paper concerning the mystery of large rocks found in the crown of trees around here.

Evidently there are a few trees in one particular area where hunters found the large rocks 30- 40 feet in the air resting in crotches of the trees. Some of the rocks are 3-5 ft wide and across and no one knows how they got to be there.

I would say it is pretty obvious.

 

[Dan F]

OK, I'll bite. How'd they get there?


And where in IN are you?

 

[treeclimber165]

Catapults.

 

[Kneejerk Bombas]

There's only one possible explanation, aleins.

 

[treeslayer]

Ballast used by underweight rec. climbers? We all know they got no a$$.

 

[Bob Wulkowicz]

Maybe they're Quida trees, you know, trees with terrorist inclinations, and the rocks are going to be dropped on us when we're not looking.

The Department of Homeland Security is planning to put fences around trees like the fences on expressway bridges. The national contract is being let to Halliburton.

There may also be a plan to declare rocks as contraband materials and people who run bulldozers down through wheelbarrows will have to be interviewd and tested as patriots.

In the zero tolerance schools, a child can be expelled for having a pebble in their shoe and rock candy will have its name changed to freedom candy.

We will likely have an additioal warning system of:

(1) Granite <i> Stay away from all rocks</i>
(2) Basalt <i>Eye rocks suspiciously</i>
(3) Sandstone <i>Moderate rock interactions</i>
(4) Packed silt <i> OK to have a pet rock</i>


These are serious issues. Considering the number of rocks around, we should think of them as weapons of massed destruction.

The FBI has also issued a warning about poisoned finger bowls that will threaten the upper .02% of taxpayers who will really really benefit from Bush's new tax plans.

Be vigilant, citizens. Everything is out to get you. And if something isn't, we'll just make up new stories.

Remember, a frightened population is an important population at election time. We need your support to cement our takeover. Iraq today, Jersey tomorrow.


Respectfully,

CREEP

 

[Treeman14]

Of course its obvious. They were put there when they were small.

 

[Bob Wulkowicz]

Originally posted by Treeman14
Of course its obvious. They were put there when they were small.

Thank you. These days, it's not often that I get to laugh aloud.

Well done...


Bob

 

[Menchhofer]

Just so you guys do not think this to be a joke or con, here is the article...for what it is worth..

 

[Menchhofer]

here

 

[ORclimber]

Originally posted by Treeman14
Of course its obvious. They were put there when they were small.

Are you guys joking?

My votes for the catipults.

 

[Menchhofer]

I think they are simailar to the crop circles...pranks. It would not take much rigging to place a rock high up in a crotch in any tree.

Of course there could be some natural reason also.

 

[Bob Wulkowicz]

Originally posted by Menchhofer
I think they are simailar to the crop circles...pranks. It would not take much rigging to place a rock high up in a crotch in any tree.

Of course there could be some natural reason also.

How about a rock being pulled into a tree by root suction, travelling up the tree like an egg as a bump in a snake, and then being extruded into the crotch of a tree..

Seems to me it easily fits Mattheck's Axiom of Uninformed Stress.


Bob Wulkowicz

 

[BigJohn]

Maybe tornadoes?

 

[TimberMcPherson]

Obviously stoner trees

 

[Treeman14]

Ummm, rock maple?

 

[Keener]

On the coast here sometimes the roadbuilders put rocks in trees mostly on the down slope side, with Forcite 40% or Amex.
Of course they also put rocks in the next county as well.
How about this photo for something found in a tree.
Not a rock but I hit it dead centre with the chain.

 

[kf_tree]

when i ski patroled in VT, if you knew where to look there was a few rocks in the tree's. placed there when they blasted the ski trails.

 

[mikecross23]

Ya'll are all wrong...
It's those dang nocternal critters, you know the coons and opposums. I swear I saw a coon drag-n a boulder up a tree when I was just knee high to a grasshopper!

-Mike-

 

[Stumper]

Airliners with kidney stones. That also explains why you encounter heavy turbulance when you flush the commode in flight.