Craigslist laughs

[Steve NW WI]

Black walnut trees for lumber

Hi,

We are selling 3 black walnut trees. We are willing to take the tops off for you. We have scanned them with a metal detector.

There are only 3 trees.

86" diameter and the 1st limb is 14' up.
60" diameter and the 1st limb is 11' up.
70" diameter and the 1st limb is 16' up.

$3000... how much ya figger it would cost per bf after processing?

Guess that they're giving circumference instead of diameter.

27"
19"
22"
diameters. Nice sized lumber, but still, WTF... Now a 7' diameter walnut may well be worth that kinda money, especially with a 5' and 6' thrown in!

 

[1grnlwn]

Wow, more highly valuable black walnut trees offered at a cut rate price. Some sawmill guy is really going to take advantage of that guy.LOL

 

[treemandan]

Firewood for large tree removal (19014)

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Date: 2011-12-04, 12:44PM EST
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
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Tree removal in exchange for wood - (19014

I need a very large tree to cut down and removed. This is a job for a tree removal professional., I have not decided at this point when to remove it. It can wait till spring, I would think early in the seaseon next spring before the leaves come out. It can go now if you are not busy.

If interested, in return you get the firewood. This is a big tree, but you get ALL the wood!

I think it is an oak tree.

Extra wood for you or you can sell.

 

[Trapper63]

" job for a professional " means up against mine and my neighbors house....PEOPLE R WACKED!

 

[1grnlwn]

I have the perfect comeback for you prof tree guys. Sir I cannot possibly take advantage of you and take all this valuable fire wood with out paying. So I will drop this tree and section it for $_____ which is cost + a meager Profit. And you can clean-up all the way to the bank selling this valuable fire wood. This is a win-win situation. The funny thing is the "professional" tree guys I know don't even want to mess with fire wood. They just want to get rid of it fast.

 

[blackdogon57]

Firewood for sale - time to be a lumberjack & cut your own wood!

FIREWOOD FOR SALE - TIME TO BE A LUMBERJACK & CUT YOUR OWN WOOD!


We have a number of great dried trees that are read to come down and will make excellent firewood.. Come and spend the day in the country while the weather is still good cutting down your own tree and take it home.. We assume no liability.. The tree becomes yours! Must have your own supplies and cartage..We have several areas in Bowmanville, Ontario with prime trees.. Just 40 minutes east of Toronto.. This is a great way to rid all your frustrations.. Take them out on a dead tree! If interested call 647-273-4844.

 

[Chris Francis]

FIREWOOD FOR SALE - TIME TO BE A LUMBERJACK & CUT YOUR OWN WOOD!


We have a number of great dried trees that are read to come down and will make excellent firewood.. Come and spend the day in the country while the weather is still good cutting down your own tree and take it home.. We assume no liability.. The tree becomes yours! Must have your own supplies and cartage..We have several areas in Bowmanville, Ontario with prime trees.. Just 40 minutes east of Toronto.. This is a great way to rid all your frustrations.. Take them out on a dead tree! If interested call 647-273-4844.

That is just a bad idea all around:
- Invite inexperienced strangers to come onto your property
- And cut trees down
- That are already dead
- With a chainsaw

And is firewood that scarce or expensive that it warrants going into the woods 40 minutes away, buying a saw, and stacking it up in your Lexus (or whatever ride you have), just to carry it back to the suburbs? You could just pick up a the phone and pay somebody $100 to bring it to you and stack it where you want it.

 

[no tree to big]

walnut tree for sale best offer

at least this one looks like it has a good trunk to it



walnut tree for sale best offer

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Date: 2011-12-13, 5:17PM CST
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
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Walnut tree for sale best offer must cut down approximately 24 inch in diameter

 

[banshee67]

someone send this guy a calculator for christmas:


"Firewood for sale. 1/2 cord 90 full cord 190 2 cords 385 3 cords 575 call ************for more details."

 

[Davej_07]

someone send this guy a calculator for christmas:


"Firewood for sale. 1/2 cord 90 full cord 190 2 cords 385 3 cords 575 call ************for more details."

It costs him more to deliver a full cord, so you'd be better off ordering 2 1/2 cords! Lol

You can't fix stupid!!

Dave

 

[DiscoInferno]

SSDD:

Black Walnut Tree (College Park, MD)

Black walnut tree. In the photo, it is the one on the left. Both trees are about 100' tall and live.

You take it down, you haul. It is OK to leave the stump.
If you want the second tree (locust) for firewood, it is yours, too.

BEFORE you take it down, I need to make sure you are licensed and insured: the house is too close, and I am not taking any chances.
Serous offers only, please.

 

[darkbyrd]

Homeowner, walnut tree, 88", insured persons only, valuable!

You slept naked in my bed. Unfortunately, you were in the wrong apt. - m4w
from Best of Craigslist by [email protected]
Hey there, Emily?

We met last Friday morning. Well, maybe "met" isn't the right word. I believe the first thing you said to me was, "Who the #### are you?" That's a funny thing to say to a guy after wandering into his apartment, passing out in his bed, and accosting him wearing nothing but a bed sheet (your own, might I add) the next morning.

Before I get too far, know that I'm not mad. Actually, I think you were pretty funny. And apparently, cute. I was, however, hungover as all hell, lying horizontally on the living room couch.

Why on the couch? Well, that's where I chose to sleep (I know, weird concept) after crawling into what I mistakenly thought was my empty bed at 4am. Laying down in my bed meant risking waking you up. Which would have ended in one of two ways, 1) the worst horror movie ever or 2) possibly the greatest ####o ever. I didn't like my odds. Couch it was.

Truth is, I already have a situation. A good situation, even though "my situation" lives in another state. It's so good, in fact, "my situation" laughed her ass off this morning when I told her that one story about a random naked girl waking up in my bed.

I believe you happened to mentioned your own situation, too. Only your situation, based solely on last night (and the tacky pattern on his [I assume] bed sheets)) doesn't sound like a great situation.

That said, it won't work with us. Sorry (it's not you, it's me and my over-use of parentheses). But I have a roommate, and I think he'd be a better "situation" for you. He has nice sheets and locks his door from the inside (looking out for your safety). He also had a better look at you this morning, and seemed to like what he saw despite you tip-toeing down the hall while simultaneously skyrocketing to the top of the walk of shame power rankings.

So, yeah. Let me know. I can arrange something, or you could just stop by.

I guess you already know where to find him.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

 

[Farmertan]

This thread reminds me of my neighbor who last winter called me in January and told me (not asked - told me) that they were going to have to take some of my wood because they ran out. ..... They made out just as poorly as when they came over to tell me that I had to clean out my barn so that they could use it for their horses ... or the time that they told me that I had to go and shoot a skunk that they had trapped under their trailer ... or the time they told me that I had to take the machines that I rented and do their driveway and dig them a ditch ... or ... ... ok, now I'm just depressing myself. :dizzy


Wow! I guess I'm just lucky. My neighbor called me the other day to apologize because I wasn't home and he needed his trailer for a job so he dumped the full load of white ash (that his employee loaded for him) in a spot that seemed ok. He hoped that it wasn't an inconvenient spot. This is the same dude who helped me clear part of my back yard (including spending several hours pulling stumps with his Kubota) because he was hoping to get some of the melons I was planning to grow there. Good neighbors are priceless!

 

[dts99]

today i drove by a wheel barrow with some 2 to 6 inch diamater wood in it cut to about 10 inches long with a big sign that said for sale, not split fire wood just cut up branches

 

[Farmertan]

LOL i always reply to those valuable black walnut wood or cut and a % of mill adds.

I send them a message and say I'm very interested in your tree.

If you could please cut it down, remove the limbs, cut it into 14" sections, then split each about 6 times, then stack into 4' high rows so i can see how much wood you have.
I'm willing to go as high as 75$ for each full cord less fuel to pick it up.
That is a good price for green very average firewood doubt you will get such a good offer again.

Please contact me when it's ready for pickup.

Hahahahahahahahaha!

 

[WetBehindtheEar]

I Clean Carbs

I Clean Carbs - $60 (stoughton)

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Date: 2011-12-18, 11:03AM CST
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
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I Clean Carbs

Carburetor Cleaning and Rebuilding

Motorcycle
Snow Blower
Snowmobile
Yard Equipment
Other Small Engines

**Fast turn around time**

Snowblower Tune-Up Package: $80 (2 stroke)
$60 (1 stroke)

Carb clean & Air Filter Clean
Oil Change
New Spark Plugs


Call Tom (608) XXX-XXXX
15 years of experience with small engines

____________________________________________
For a guy with so much experience with small engines, maybe he's seen a one-stroke engine... I've never seen one before but I'm not a pro either.

 

[KennyW in CT]

Carb Guy

Also, I've never seen a 2 cylinder snow thrower (he said spark plug(s)) or one with an air filter. Does he reduce the price for just one plug and no air filter?

 

[artbaldoni]

This would be quite a score... Firewood :msp_razz:

 

[1grnlwn]

This would be quite a score... Firewood :msp_razz:

It would almost be worth going there, piling all of it, dousing it with kerosene and lighting. Then get in your truck and leave. Said it was firewood Right?

 

[Farmertan]

Saw this one today.


We sell firewood seasoned 180 a cord and green at 179 a cord. No order to small nor to large. just give us a ring at ###-###-####






Maybe if I buy the standing timber I can get him down to $150 a cord?