Thanks everyone for the kind words, thoughts, prayers, and support.
He's finally home now. He was transported home from the hospital the afternoon of Friday December 2nd. We are very happy he is home and he is too. He's in a very weakened state but he is very much coherent and aware of what's going on. He sleeps a lot but he visits with us too. Lot's of family and close friends have been by to welcome him home. As a family we spent most of yesterday evening reminiscing of old family moments, trips, and stories. He laughed quite a bit and told a few stories himself. His appetite (for whatever reason) is back and he's been enjoying some of his favorite things he likes to eat. He hasn't had an appetite since April - the chemo made him lose his taste for food and he hasn't experienced hunger in months.
He still wants to fight. He has no desire to give up no matter what his prognosis is. He's a strong man and he's gonna give this cancer his hardest til the very end. He says "I might as well try to feel good enough to be able to allow my body to accept chemo again - what's the chemo gonna do... kill me...?" Then he usually laughs. I had a nice talk with him yesterday morning in the hospital before they sent him home in the afternoon. It was very emotional, but it was just as beautiful as it was sad. I held his hand and thanked him for being a good dad, for being a great and positive influence on us kids, for being a great honest guy, for kicking my ass when I needed it, taking time from his own life to give to mine, and I let him know I'd never be who or where I am without him and he's been my inspiration to push forward and always try harder. I told him I was sorry he ended up getting sick and has to go through all of this. He cried with me while holding my hand, he said he needs to stay strong for us all, and especially for our mother. He told me what I was doing at that very moment was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. He said he's a son too and he was once right where I was at that moment and saying goodbye isn't easy. I agreed and I just held his hand and cried with him. I've had my whole life and marriage on hiatus since his health started to deteriorate in July to be there for him and he thanked me for that. He said he was proud that I have the strength to venture into the unknown so well. He said he'd do it all over again - cancer, chemo, and all; all because I made this much easier for him than it could have been with the sacrifices I have made. I couldn't do anything but cry and tell him thank you. He's such a good guy, it's hard to watch him go through this and 63 years old is just way too darn young.
Strangely enough though, he functioned and felt better today than he did yesterday. He told us that wants to get his strength back so he can get back on chemo because he has things to do and he's not gonna let some stinkin' lung cancer get in his way. He knows and understands his prognosis, but he told me that it's not over until it's over and there's no reason to give up, no matter what one has been told by a doctor. "They've given many people two days to live and they're still living two or three years later. When I'm gone, that's how much time I will have been given."
And boy does he ever have his sense of humor with him. I don't think I've seen him break everyone's balls so much before. It's good to see him feeling so good at home like this. I honestly don't think there's a better ending.
We're all just glad he's home, and glad he can spend his last moments with us. We're so thankful we can help keep him comfortable and that's what this part of his life is about right now. Whenever the time comes, I hope it goes as peacefully and as smoothly as it can. I'm sleeping on the couch next to him in his hospital bed so I can help him at any time throughout the night, no matter what it is he needs. I've been there for him since he was diagnosed in February and nothing about that has changed.
Thanks again everyone. Your compassion is greatly appreciated.