Well I did it! Made it officail! Now how do you hide your chainsaw purchases!

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I do not think my wife ever notices my saws.. Until I stuck a pipe on one.. Then the questions came flooding.
 
After 19 years of marriage (to the same awesome lady) and 3 kids, a few suggestions:

1. No secrets. If you live close enough to maintain a long term relationship you wont be able to really hide anything anyway. If you can hide something then you really aren't that close.

2. No separate money. If you can't share then you have more serious issues.

3. She is the most important "thing" in the world - and she needs to know that. If she isn't, she will figure it out and you will bump down on her list too.

4. Be constantly on the lookout for how to make her happy and you will find that she will eventually do the same for you.

Saws are a lot of fun, but they won't nurse you through serious illness and if they are mishandled they are more likely to kill you than she is ;)
 
Well, the easiest thing to do would have been get as many saws as you can imagine wanting BEFORE tying the knot. Then, additional saws are lost in the collection. Unless she gets interested in saws and can recognize a new addition.

Too late for that, though. In my household, no problem as my wife would not care if I got a new saw or more saws or a lot more saws. We heat totally with wood and always have, she likes the wood. She also just does not care if I want more saws.

On the other hand, I always discuss a saw purchase [or any other purchase] with her, anyway. No secrets, no problems. She always shrugs and says, "whatever, I don't care." But I still tell her what I'm thinking about. I can't imagine having to hide stuff or sneak around getting stuff. Same thing from her end: I do all the finances and bills and taxes and etc., so she talks to me when she wants something [to buy] as she has the job and I don't and I always know where finances stand. So, she clears things with me first, and we figure out how to do it or whether we can afford to do it, and I also let her know what I am doing or wanting to do. No problems. We agree that if we simply cannot afford to do something now, we don't do it and figure out if we can later and how much later. Open lines of communication do wonders. By the way, that's not marital advice, it's just how it works well for us.
 
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It's a bit interesting to see the number of responses that go along the lines of "hide your purchases from her". Interesting because I was married to a woman that lived that lie for 12 years. Rock bottom was around the 8 year point when she nagged the crap out of me for a new car. I ran the numbers and figured we could do it pretty easy(I was making pretty good money at the time). So we dropped $24,000.00 on a demo Isuzu Rodeo. About 8 days later I found out she had run up one of our credit cards that I thought had just been sitting unused for emergencies and also taken out another one. Total credit runup? $17,000.00. So in the space of 8 days I found myself $41,000.00 in the hole. It's very difficult to recover from that deception. I spent the next 4 years paying down bills and watching her like a hawk. Eventually she got sick of me being so "controlling" and wanted a divorce. It turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to me. 6 years later and I'm happy as a clam.

Bottom line: If things work for you, great. But honesty and openess would have made my marriage work a lot better.
 
gwiley said:
After 19 years of marriage (to the same awesome lady) and 3 kids, a few suggestions:

1. No secrets. If you live close enough to maintain a long term relationship you wont be able to really hide anything anyway. If you can hide something then you really aren't that close.

2. No separate money. If you can't share then you have more serious issues.

3. She is the most important "thing" in the world - and she needs to know that. If she isn't, she will figure it out and you will bump down on her list too.

4. Be constantly on the lookout for how to make her happy and you will find that she will eventually do the same for you.

Saws are a lot of fun, but they won't nurse you through serious illness and if they are mishandled they are more likely to kill you than she is ;)
Click to expand...

:agree2:
 
David Y. said:
It's a bit interesting to see the number of responses that go along the lines of "hide your purchases from her". Interesting because I was married to a woman that lived that lie for 12 years. Rock bottom was around the 8 year point when she nagged the crap out of me for a new car. I ran the numbers and figured we could do it pretty easy(I was making pretty good money at the time). So we dropped $24,000.00 on a demo Isuzu Rodeo. About 8 days later I found out she had run up one of our credit cards that I thought had just been sitting unused for emergencies and also taken out another one. Total credit runup? $17,000.00. So in the space of 8 days I found myself $41,000.00 in the hole. It's very difficult to recover from that deception. I spent the next 4 years paying down bills and watching her like a hawk. Eventually she got sick of me being so "controlling" and wanted a divorce. It turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to me. 6 years later and I'm happy as a clam.

Bottom line: If things work for you, great. But honesty and openess would have made my marriage work a lot better.
Click to expand...

GASoline71 said:
Congrats...

Don't "hide" stuff... it'll be the first step to a downward spiral called divorce.

Keep the communication lines open...

Gary
Click to expand...

:agree2::agree2::agree2:


You may never get better advice than those 2 replies!

If you are hiding chainsaws, you might as well be hiding an affair with the "cute little thing at work".
Deception is deception no matter what form it takes and is a symptom of a MUCH bigger problem.
If you want another saw, sit down with her and say "I'm going to buy another saw, What do I need to do in order to be able to afford it???"
If she tells you that the budget is tight and you need to pick up a part time job to be able to afford it, then the ball is in your court, do what you need to do.
Congratulations!!!
I hope happiness, health and prosperity for both of you forever.


Mike


.
 
rms61moparman said:
If you are hiding chainsaws, you might as well be hiding an affair with the "cute little thing at work".
Click to expand...
I don't know if I'm with you on this one. I could apologize sincerely for a chainsaw & she would forgive me.
"cute little thing at work" (doesn't exist), I don't think so.
Luckily, we don't have these issues!
 
GASoline71 said:
Congrats...

Don't "hide" stuff... it'll be the first step to a downward spiral called divorce.

Keep the communication lines open...

Gary
Click to expand...

:agree2:

I couldn't have said it better...even after 28 years of the best thing that's ever happened to me!
You gotta be perfectly honest ALL THE TIME...or it's for sure gonna BITE YOU! She will respect you more and character does count...in the short run and the long run...being an honorable man has more perks than being a scum bag! :cheers:

Congrats and Good Luck!
Bounty Hunter
 
rms61moparman said:
:agree2::agree2::agree2:


You may never get better advice than those 2 replies!

If you are hiding chainsaws, you might as well be hiding an affair with the "cute little thing at work".
Deception is deception no matter what form it takes and is a symptom of a MUCH bigger problem.
If you want another saw, sit down with her and say "I'm going to buy another saw, What do I need to do in order to be able to afford it???"
If she tells you that the budget is tight and you need to pick up a part time job to be able to afford it, then the ball is in your court, do what you need to do.
Congratulations!!!
I hope happiness, health and prosperity for both of you forever.


Mike


.
Click to expand...

For sure Mike.
I'm only having a little fun, as I'm sure are others.

But seriously, keep your marriage honest as you are fooling yourself in the long run.
 
Torin said:
I don't know if I'm with you on this one. I could apologize sincerely for a chainsaw & she would forgive me.
"cute little thing at work" (doesn't exist), I don't think so.
Luckily, we don't have these issues!
Click to expand...


I respect your right to disagree with me, but having spent SEVERAL years as the person in a marriage that things were hidden from, I can tell you that the pain of being deceived by the person who is supposed to be your friend, lover and partner for life never goes away.
Yes you can forgive but forgetting is almost impossible.
Furthermore, after you catch them in the first deception, the element of doubt is always there.
Those scars run deep and heal VERY slowly.



Mike


.
 
I'm sure you're right, I'm lucky to not have distrust. We always discuss large purchases & neither sweats the small ones. She trusts me to need it, find a use for it, or just really want it, but she doesn't question me, at least too much.
 
Congrats to you both and many happy years for you.

All kidding aside, I don't hide anything about them. She doesn't necessarily approve all of the time, but she knows I enjoy it. I think it helps that I sell one here and there, too.
 
I pay for purchases with Post Office money orders, which are bought with cash, so she doesn't see canceled checks or credit card charges.

The items are delivered to my place of employment.

All saws look alike to her, so no need to hide. Just don't ever put them all in one place.


Bear in mind, I don't spend so much on stuff that we have problems paying bills. I have 4 saws, all bought used. It's my hobby, and we spend NOTHING on LP as a result of it. We heat a 2 & 1/2 story, 90 year old, 4500 sq. ft farmhouse.

She knows I don't tell her everything regarding saws. I guess I hide recently acquired items mostly just to avoid the head shaking and eye rolls. When she DOES say something, I reply something to the effect of, (smiling) "Well, the house is 72 deg., no LP bill, and you don't have to help. Should I go thru the check register and credit card statement?"

Don't get the impression that it's an 'issue' between us. We get along great. I'm at home every night and there is a busy bar full of absentee husbands/Dads just over half a mile away that I could be at. (Don't want to be there anyway.)
 
with me and my wife i use the "dont ask don't tell" method. i told her i was gonna buy a chainsaw (my first and only) and i explained the benefit of using our woodburner to heat the house and she said it sounded like a good idea. i told her i was going to buy it with my credit card. she never asked how much it costs so i didn't tell:hmm3grin2orange: i'm sure she doesn't know that i spent close to $700 on my saw and goodies. when you think about it 3 or 4 cords of wood pay for it
 
ALL SERIOUSNESS!

THANKS GUYS!
You are all right! We have been together for some time now! I respect her and she me! It will take work! But we love the time we share together! Thanks guys for being cool! She has read all the posts! And now understands why I come here! AGAIN THANKS!!!!!!!!!

Open bar to all that posted!:cheers:

THANKS!!!!!!!
 
Teddy.Scout said:
ALL SERIOUSNESS!

THANKS GUYS!
You are all right! We have been together for some time now! I respect her and she me! It will take work! But we love the time we share together! Thanks guys for being cool! She has read all the posts! And now understands why I come here! AGAIN THANKS!!!!!!!!!

Open bar to all that posted!:cheers:

THANKS!!!!!!!
Click to expand...



I'm feeling a bit sophisticated tonight......I'll have an Amaretto sour!



Mike
 

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