Memo: Cursing at Work

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mile9socounty

Two-Stroke Swope
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(This is an actual memo handed out to us at work today.)

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

#1
Try saying: I think you could use more training.
Instead of: You don't know what the f__ you're doing.
#2
Try saying: She's an aggressive go-getter.
Instead of: She's a f__ing bit__.
#3
Try saying: Perhaps I can work late.
Instead of: And when the f__ do you expect me to do this?
#4
Try saying: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
Instead of: No f__ing way.
#5
Try saying: Really?
Instead of: You've got to be sh__ing me!
#6
Try saying: Perhaps you should check with...
Instead of: Tell someone who gives a sh__.
#7
Try saying: I wasn't involved in the project.
Instead of: It's not my f__ing problem.
#8
Try saying: That's interesting.
Instead of: What the f__?
#9
Try saying: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
Instead of: This sh__ won't work.
#10
Try saying: I'll try to schedule that.
Instead of: Why the f__ didn't you tell me sooner?
#11
Try saying: He's not familiar with the issues.
Instead of: He's got his head up his a__.
#12
Try saying: Excuse me, sir?
Instead of: Eat sh__ and die.
#13
Try saying: So you weren't happy with it?
Instead of: Kiss my a__.
#14
Try saying: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
Instead of: F__ it, I'm on salary.
#15
Try saying: I don't think you understand.
Instead of: Shove it up your a__.
#16
Try saying: I love a challenge.
Instead of: This f__ing job sucks.
#17
Try saying: You want me to take care of that?
Instead of: Who the f__ died and made you boss?
#18
Try saying: He's somewhat insensitive.
Instead of: He's a pr_ck.


Thank You,
Management.

(Most of this comes out in the brush. Normally we don't say too much to anyone around the compounds. That's how you get noticed.) :cheers:
 
I think I will print it and hang it up in my office.

Lol. I'm going to see if I can't get another copy of the memo myself. Post it up on the wall or something. I still have the one they gave me. Just filled in the blanks and doodled on it. The refresher course is boring as hell. But got that and the pack test out of the way, for another year.
 
I love the first one

#1
Try saying: I think you could use more training.
Instead of: You don't know what the f__ you're doing.
 
LOL, that's funny as the space that has fire below heaven. ( I got the memo too) :hmm3grin2orange:
 
I found myself telling the road crew guys -- "That cedar was a tough male offspring of a female canine."

did everything screech to a halt and get real quiet as a tree fell over in a state of chaotic confusion? :dizzy:
 

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