Sometimes when I have had a few too many Bood-A-Veisers I think my english sounds more like German. and I dont speak German.
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan for the "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fisiks, fotograf and farmasy about 20% shorter, hence less ink to use.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which made us look stupid once we mis-spel a word. Besides, double letered words have always ben subject to
inakurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in words like languag & disguis is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a riel sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it izi tu
understand ich oza. Ze drim of a united urop vil finali *** tru. And after ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German-like English as zey vunted in ze first plas.
:hmm3grin2orange:
