Garmins dad
Addicted to ArboristSite
:msp_thumbup: ya.. you make lots of friends (and have to do it for others)... :hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange:
And he said, "have you got a 4 wheel drive?"
- Thread starter avalancher
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:msp_thumbup: ya.. you make lots of friends (and have to do it for others)... :hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange:
4seasons
ArboristSite Guru
I been there
I think I delivered oxygen to that guy once. Or maybe it was when I was running for Fed-Ex during Christmas. Didn't deliver the goat back to the shack though. Just left the package on the porch and got out of there before they started shooting at me for killing the goat. And I ran over the goat on the way back out just to make sure that it was good and dead. Oh the wonderful times you can have when someone doesn't put up a house number on both the mailbox (or lack thereof) and the house.
I think I delivered oxygen to that guy once. Or maybe it was when I was running for Fed-Ex during Christmas. Didn't deliver the goat back to the shack though. Just left the package on the porch and got out of there before they started shooting at me for killing the goat. And I ran over the goat on the way back out just to make sure that it was good and dead. Oh the wonderful times you can have when someone doesn't put up a house number on both the mailbox (or lack thereof) and the house.
great story man i was laughing pretty good.
needwood
ArboristSite Operative
That's the best"
Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for sharing!
David (saltas)
Addicted to ArboristSite
In preperation for reading an avelancher thread
Clicked on serveral threads to read all in different tabs.
Oh its an avalanche story.....check beer, not full read the others first ok better get a beer.
Two sentences into story........do I need piss.......hmmmm better have one just in case.
Ok Now I'm ready to read this one.
:goat::goat::goat::goat::goat::goat::goat::goat:
Clicked on serveral threads to read all in different tabs.
Oh its an avalanche story.....check beer, not full read the others first ok better get a beer.
Two sentences into story........do I need piss.......hmmmm better have one just in case.
Ok Now I'm ready to read this one.
:goat::goat::goat::goat::goat::goat::goat::goat:
avalancher
Arboristsite Raconteur
Well, if you really want to hear something funny, picture this in your mind.......
Like I said, I spent the afternoon there talking with those folks, looking the place over, and marveling at how they live. It truly was a blessing to see folks going back to their roots and living like our ancestors did. They had running water, but it was very slow. As she explained to me, it takes almost five minutes to fill up a tea kettle, and baths are once a week and takes all day to fill the tub they drop in the middle of the living room, and to heat the water. But what really got me to laughing was when he described Lowes delivering his fridge.
He had purchased a fridge from Lowes, and had planned on having them deliver the fridge to the bottom of the hill and to have help there to transfer the fridge from the truck to the tractor wagon. But when he got to the check out counter, things went bad. First, the fridge ended up being $175 more than what he was quoted in the back. They explained that there was a sale that had been in effect over the weekend, but had ended and they hadnt taken the sign down.Then they refused to give him the free financing that they had promised in the back and the die was cast for this old man to get some revenge.
He met that truck at the bottom of the hill alright, and after taking one look at the hill the guys refused to haul the fridge up the hill. After explaining to their boss on the phone that he carries his groceries and everything else up that hill(carefully omitting the tractor part) the boss man ordered his delivery guys to carry the thing up the hill on a hand cart. I am sure if he could actually see the hill he would have thought otherwise.
But as the old man described how those two monkeys had to haul that fridge up the hill then up the stairs, I could just picture it in my mind. And spent the next five minutes bent over laughing myself!
Like I said, I spent the afternoon there talking with those folks, looking the place over, and marveling at how they live. It truly was a blessing to see folks going back to their roots and living like our ancestors did. They had running water, but it was very slow. As she explained to me, it takes almost five minutes to fill up a tea kettle, and baths are once a week and takes all day to fill the tub they drop in the middle of the living room, and to heat the water. But what really got me to laughing was when he described Lowes delivering his fridge.
He had purchased a fridge from Lowes, and had planned on having them deliver the fridge to the bottom of the hill and to have help there to transfer the fridge from the truck to the tractor wagon. But when he got to the check out counter, things went bad. First, the fridge ended up being $175 more than what he was quoted in the back. They explained that there was a sale that had been in effect over the weekend, but had ended and they hadnt taken the sign down.Then they refused to give him the free financing that they had promised in the back and the die was cast for this old man to get some revenge.
He met that truck at the bottom of the hill alright, and after taking one look at the hill the guys refused to haul the fridge up the hill. After explaining to their boss on the phone that he carries his groceries and everything else up that hill(carefully omitting the tractor part) the boss man ordered his delivery guys to carry the thing up the hill on a hand cart. I am sure if he could actually see the hill he would have thought otherwise.
But as the old man described how those two monkeys had to haul that fridge up the hill then up the stairs, I could just picture it in my mind. And spent the next five minutes bent over laughing myself!
David (saltas)
Addicted to ArboristSite
but way there's more if order now we will include another story free
I have just recovered from laughing
"We can get the truck up the driveway"
"well put it in a cart and wheel it up the drive"
"If an old man can then you can"
"just get it done your, already late for the next delivery"
:msp_lol:
I have just recovered from laughing
"We can get the truck up the driveway"
"well put it in a cart and wheel it up the drive"
"If an old man can then you can"
"just get it done your, already late for the next delivery"
:msp_lol:
avalancher
Arboristsite Raconteur
That was a typo wasnt it?LOL@@#$$#$$@$@#@
Guess that's what happens when you try and write more than one story at a time. I was banging out the last part of my column that is due tomorrow, finishing up a story for the church bulletin, discovered some friggin mouse raided my Cheetos stashe out here last night even though I was kind enough to leave him the remnants of my fried okra and carrot sandwich and to top it all of some nitwit left me a voice mail fifteen minutes ago saying he needed firewood delivered to his home but he needed it by 8am and he called at 9.
I am giving up. I am going to quit my job and go work for Walmart as a door greeter. Or maybe be one of them guys that run all over the parking lot and chase down grocery carts. I really like the little hats they got and that flashy little light on the push motor is way cool. I can watch that little blinky thing for hours.
I dunno, was it really a typo or is your subconscious trying to "out" you?
avalancher
Arboristsite Raconteur
um,,,, nope. Cant see any advantage to being a girl. I like peeing standing up, and preferably through the pickets on the back porch late at night. And if the cat crawls out from underneath while I am, thats an extra ten points. I wouldnt get a dang thing done if I was a girl, I would spend far too much time distracted.
Can you just imagine that, getting to grab yourself a handful anytime you want?Wouldnt even have to ask anyone, and you wouldnt get slapped anymore. In walmart and feeling a little frisky?Well, grab you a handful and have a grin.
Eatin dinner at the inlaws and gettin the itch?Hell, just reach up under your shirt and enjoy yourself.
Nope, love the gal shape far too much, and if I was a girl I wouldnt get anything done. Guess its just better to get slapped once in awhile!
mitch95100
Saw Nut
HAHHAAH i could imagine that goats runnin around "OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY" then thud.
chopperfreak2k1
Addicted to ArboristSite
ain't it the truth!?!?
great story brother! best i've read or heard in some time. thanks.
Old Feller
ArboristSite Lurker
great story, enjoyed reading it.
Agreed. Always figured if I were a woman I'd probably be a shut in because I'd NEVER get tired of it!
gloud
ArboristSite Operative
Oh lordy Both the wife and myself where laughing as hard as that old man. Thanks we both really needed it.
Mom died of lung cancer yesterday and I have been dealing with the arrangement's today. Thank you so much.:hmm3grin2orange:
Mom died of lung cancer yesterday and I have been dealing with the arrangement's today. Thank you so much.:hmm3grin2orange:
David (saltas)
Addicted to ArboristSite
I used to tell people when I had enough I will get a job driving a water truck for the council/county.
A union job with a air conditioned cabin with a soft bouncy seat.
The worst thing that could happen is they tell me that i watered the wrong part of the dirt road, they cant make me pick it up so I would just have to go get another load.
Funnily enough I did chuck my real job in and Some one now pays me to teach the unemployed and young kids how to grow fruit and veggies.
You found the STIFFY GOATS!
Thanks for the laugh!
Thanks for the laugh!
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