customers say the darndest things

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imagineero

imagineero

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Joined
May 14, 2010
Messages
3,512
Location
blue mountains australia
Was out doing my quotes yesterday when it just seemed like one after the other customers were saying the funniest stuff. It got hard to keep a straight face by the end of the day. One lady said of an evergreen tree;

"I'm a tree person, I love trees, but this tree is just awful"

"Really 'mam? How so?"

"You wouldn't believe it, but the leaves fall off. Then I have to go clean them up. Seems like I never get a moments rest. I'd like it removed and replaced with a tree that doesn't drop any leaves"


I bet you guys have some hum dingers, lets here 'em...
 
TimberMcPherson

TimberMcPherson

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. AS Supporting Member.
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Mar 13, 2003
Messages
5,884
Location
New Zealand
Oh just the classics

"I love trees but...." Normally followed by the request to get rid of every standing plant on the property and within view from said property or prune them to below waist height

"this tree just doesnt do anything" Oh unlike the one that walks the dog and carrys 3 gigs of music
 
2treeornot2tree

2treeornot2tree

Dont cry, just do it
Joined
Sep 26, 2010
Messages
4,251
Location
Lancaster, PA
Had the last two customers bad mouth my compition. Its hard not to say anything bad, but it dont look professional, and looks bad to the customer. Good thing is they are calling me now.
 
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brokenbudget

brokenbudget

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Jun 16, 2008
Messages
2,429
Location
brockville ontario canada
had an older fellow come in about a year or 2 ago with a stihl 025. no airfilter.
he says: " i don't like airfilters, they're just dust collectors. i don't run em on any of my stuff".:laugh:
thats exactly what he said.:taped:
 
sgreanbeans

sgreanbeans

Treeaculterologist
Joined
May 4, 2001
Messages
4,375
Location
iowa
Ya gotta love the peeps who want trees that dont make a mess. I get that all the time, I usually suggest a 8x8, treated post to plant, then they will have very little maintenance.
 
treeman82

treeman82

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May 2, 2001
Messages
3,956
Location
connecticut
A while back I was looking at a job for a regular client. She points to a part of her property and tells me she wants me to prune "that tree."
"which one?" There were many in that area.
"The leafy green one."
 
Buzzkill

Buzzkill

ArboristSite Lurker
Joined
Oct 26, 2011
Messages
45
Location
illinois
last week a Lady shows me the leaf buds on an elm. "It didn't have as much of these disease lumps on them when it was young, you need to cut it down."
 
what-a-stihl

what-a-stihl

ArboristSite Operative
Joined
Feb 16, 2010
Messages
211
Location
midwest
Removed a 14" diameter red oak limb above a homeowner's garage that was about 20' long and about 25' above the garage roof and the homeowner insisted on me to drop it on his roof instead of rigging it, said he thought it could support the fall. The house was brand new so it wasn't because he wanted an insurance claim, he really thought it would take the load. After swaying him to let me rig it and refusing to let it land on his roof, I got the limb to the ground and he then realized it would of destroyed his rafters.
 
tree md

tree md

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Oct 29, 2001
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7,644
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Somewhere in a tree
Pasted from an email I received from a lady in reply to a message I had sent saying that I had removed her trees while she was at work last week.

Yes, I was home for lunch and saw that they were gone. You brute! Well, thanks, I guess. We'll settle up on Monday?
 
Groundman One
Joined
Aug 14, 2008
Messages
62,940
Location
Quebec, Canada
I got the weirdest - and saddest - call we ever got about three-weeks ago. My boss gives me all the French callbacks on his answering machine, and one was an old lady who wanted to know, since we work with trees, if we could hep her cure her breast cancer. She asked if we knew about any tree bark or "tree herbs" that might help. Oh my Lord. I think that poor woman was just sitting there going through the phone book calling anyone and everyone. We talked for about 15 minutes, and it was obvious she was old and alone and afraid, and by the end of the call I felt as useless and depressed as could be. :(

The other weird one was a woman who called and asked if we cut trees for free. She said we had cut trees for one of her neighbours and he told her we'd work for free. I told her if she made us really excellent coffee we'd consider it, otherwise, no.
 
KenJax Tree

KenJax Tree

Terraphobic
Joined
Feb 17, 2012
Messages
11,593
Location
Over there
A few weeks ago i went to a customers house and gave a quote i bid $1100 for the removal,chip all brush,grind out stump, and clean the site well i got the job so this past friday i did the job, i got all the limbs off and started chunking it and the groundie were loading the wood in dump truck and the homeowner comes out and calls me down from the tree and says "you're taking the wood? I think you should knock some money off if you're keeping the wood" so i said "i will gladly leave it here its less work for me and i don't have to pay to dump it" then the HO says "well i don't want the wood" :msp_confused: ok so what do you want me to do??? I was totally stumped (no pun intended). Im not sure what part of the word REMOVE tree from front yard he didn't understand, but the kicker is he ended up keeping the wood but i still got the $1100 for the removal job.
 
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tree md

tree md

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Joined
Oct 29, 2001
Messages
7,644
Location
Somewhere in a tree
Got to my second job today and the customer surprised me by being there. Said she took a half day of vaca so she could be there for the job (she was so freaking hot!). She said so you are going to leave the wood for me??? I said well ya!!! Showed her the saw logs I had on the truck already from the previous job and told her she could have them too. She said " you rock"! Then I told her I could drop by and give her another load of free wood the next time I did a job in her neighborhood... She said "hell yeah"!... Cannot wait to see her fine ass again... I might drop her another load in the morning on my way to the dump...
 
KenJax Tree

KenJax Tree

Terraphobic
Joined
Feb 17, 2012
Messages
11,593
Location
Over there
Got to my second job today and the customer surprised me by being there. Said she took a half day of vaca so she could be there for the job (she was so freaking hot!). She said so you are going to leave the wood for me??? I said well ya!!! Showed her the saw logs I had on the truck already from the previous job and told her she could have them too. She said " you rock"! Then I told her I could drop by and give her another load of free wood the next time I did a job in her neighborhood... She said "hell yeah"!... Cannot wait to see her fine ass again... I might drop her another load in the morning on my way to the dump...

You should be there right now dumping a load lol
 
HappyTreesLLC

HappyTreesLLC

ArboristSite Member
Joined
May 21, 2012
Messages
54
Location
Pelham NH
You should be there right now dumping a load lol
Yehhh:hmm3grin2orange:

A few weeks ago i went to a customers house and gave a quote i bid $1100 for the removal,chip all brush,grind out stump, and clean the site well i got the job so this past friday i did the job, i got all the limbs off and started chunking it and the groundie were loading the wood in dump truck and the homeowner comes out and calls me down from the tree and says "you're taking the wood? I think you should knock some money off if you're keeping the wood" so i said "i will gladly leave it here its less work for me and i don't have to pay to dump it" then the HO says "well i don't want the wood" :msp_confused: ok so what do you want me to do??? I was totally stumped (no pun intended). Im not sure what part of the word REMOVE tree from front yard he didn't understand, but the kicker is he ended up keeping the wood but i still got the $1100 for the removal job.

Awesome. :laugh::laugh::laugh:
 
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