The Descriptive Process

[paccity]

ya broke your bike dude. sorry.

 

[slowp]

I believe we have been transported to the mideastern part of the U.S. My humdidity reader says 91% outside and it only cooled down to 62.
Cupboard doors have swelled and are sticking. The slugs have reemerged and are copulating. Yuck.

Grow mushrooms grow!

 

[Samlock]

I picked today a bucket of clean gypsy mushrooms. I believe the species is also known in North America. That's not the subject of my description, though. Where there is gypsy mushrooms, there is also moose flies. Let the season of abscesses begin!

 

[madhatte]

if
moose fly : deer fly :: moose : deer
then
whoah, sorry, man
end

 

[slowp]

Are those the big flies that take chunks of flesh with their bite? And then you have a bump that takes forever to quit itching? Owie!:msp_ohmy:

 

[Samlock]

No, that's a parasite of moose, a flat and hard to kill bugger, looking and moving much like a giant louse. It has a pair of wings, which it will drop off once it's landed on you. Then it starts crawling. It will get everywhere - under your clothes, in your hair, beard, in your nose and ears. You'll find them in your head hours after shower. Bites don't feel like anything. Although the people who spend their lives in the woods mäy become sensitive to it's saliva. Then bites leave running and itching boils lasting 3 weeks or more.

The wiki says the species Lipoptena cervi - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia has introduced to North America. Congratulations.

 

[Gologit]

Are those the big flies that take chunks of flesh with their bite? And then you have a bump that takes forever to quit itching? Owie!:msp_ohmy:

Remember the horse flies when you were a kid? They didn't bite...they sat down with a knife and fork, put on a bib, pulled their chair up close, and started slicing and dicing. Grandma would put witch-hazel on the wounds...every kid in the family could hit high C when that stuff soaked in.

 

[Gologit]

No, that's a parasite of moose, a flat and hard to kill bugger, looking and moving much like a giant louse. It has a pair of wings, which it will drop off once it's landed on you. Then it starts crawling. It will get everywhere - under your clothes, in your hair, beard, in your nose and ears. You'll find them in your head hours after shower. Bites don't feel like anything. Although the people who spend their lives in the woods mäy become sensitive to it's saliva. Then bites leave running and itching boils lasting 3 weeks or more.

The wiki says the species Lipoptena cervi - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia has introduced to North America. Congratulations.

No wonder so many Finns came over here. Running and itching boils that lasted 3 weeks??!!! Sounds like something you'd pick up in a New Orleans house of ill repute.

 

[Samlock]

No wonder so many Finns came over here. Running and itching boils that lasted 3 weeks??!!! Sounds like something you'd pick up in a New Orleans house of ill repute.

That's a good theory. However moose fly is a newcomer in this country. Arrived only 40 years ago. The only thing that kills it is a load of strong moonshine sprayed on it.

Most people won't suffer much from the bites, moon flies are just being icky. However, most of the loggers I know get nasty rash. I have heard of people who had to leave the business because of the little devils.

 

[1270d]

Remember the horse flies when you were a kid? They didn't bite...they sat down with a knife and fork, put on a bib, pulled their chair up close, and started slicing and dicing. Grandma would put witch-hazel on the wounds...every kid in the family could hit high C when that stuff soaked in.

You make it sound like these buggers aren't around anymore. I wish. Pretty sure the amount of flesh lost to these things along with deer and fish flies could be measured in pounds. At least I don't swell like some people.

 

[hammerlogging]

if
moose fly : deer fly :: moose : deer
then
whoah, sorry, man
end

excellent, reminiscent of the SATs, but provided good perspective

 

[Gologit]

You make it sound like these buggers aren't around anymore. I wish. Pretty sure the amount of flesh lost to these things along with deer and fish flies could be measured in pounds. At least I don't swell like some people.

Yeah, but they were meaner when I was a kid. Bigger too. Some of them were so big that they had to file flight plans, use a stewardess, and have a rotating red light attached to their tail.

We were too poor to afford model airplanes so we'd catch one and tie a hayrope to it. If we could harness four or five together, and the hayrope didn't break, they could pull our Red Flyer wagon to school.

And before you say anything else, yes, it was ten miles to school. In the snow. Uphill. Both ways.

 

[treeslayer2003]

Yeah, but they were meaner when I was a kid. Bigger too. Some of them were so big that they had to file flight plans, use a stewardess, and have a rotating red light attached to their tail.

We were too poor to afford model airplanes so we'd catch one and tie a hayrope to it. If we could harness four or five together, and the hayrope didn't break, they could pull our Red Flyer wagon to school.

And before you say anything else, yes, it was ten miles to school. In the snow. Uphill. Both ways.

you forgot to say bare footed.

 

[1270d]

I'll bet you were one of those cruel children who pushed a piece of grass into the horsefly's butt and watched it fly straight up out of sight. And laughed and laughed and laughed. I've heard such children exist.
















Great summer entertainment

 

[Gologit]

you forgot to say bare footed.

Actually not. We always saved last year's Sears Roebuck and the Monkey Ward catalogs. Wrap enough pages of those around your feet, in enough layers, and your feet stayed reasonably dry.
My brothers and I used to fight over who got to wrap their feet with the lady's lingerie section. It was easy to tell who won...he walked with his head down studying his footwear.

 

[Gologit]

I'll bet you were one of those cruel children who pushed a piece of grass into the horsefly's butt and watched it fly straight up out of sight. And laughed and laughed and laughed. I've heard such children exist.
















Great summer entertainment

No, but we heard that people in the upper midwest did. After they ran out of mice to torture they needed some other form of entertainment.

 

[1270d]

Strange. I heard that too.

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 4 Beta

 

[northmanlogging]

Grass hoppers, mormon crickets, and a tennis racket in WY... or stick if you could find one. The occasional fruit bat, and turkey vulture too...

 

[Gologit]

Descriptive process?

Pilot car drivers with a Mario Andretti complex.

 

[slowp]

Get that low boy driver scowl ready... and tell the pilot car driver about the I-5 bridge over the Skagit. Look glum.