To all you Southerners out there....

[avalancher]

It is surprising to me how fast I picked up a southern accent, I have lived here in the south only 12 years, and after only one year I happened to attend a trade show up north.
after talking with some of the reps for awhile, one of em whispered to another(they apparently thought I was deaf as well)that they found it facinating that I could run a business when I couldnt even talk right, and appeared to have only a minimal education.

I grinned a bit, then launched into my best "educated language" in my arsenal,dragging up all the 50 cent words that I learned in college.After spending the next 20 minutes baffling them all, I explained that in the south, simple words are used along with colorful metaphors that describes what we are talking about as the prefered ways of communicating, but we are not limited to such rhetoric.
They were all looking rather shepish when I walked away,it was time for me to go see a man about a dog.(southern for "I need to find the gentlemans restroom")

 

[CrappieKeith]

upnort we say I gotta go see a man about a horse.:deadhorse:

 

[Straightgrain]

Then there s the fast-food drive thrus..............
1. "wush-yawwont?"
2. "howmen-peez-poke-ya-wwont?"
3. "skew-me?"

I loved the south. When I moved to Oregon, they told me I had an accent....

Oregon: whats with all the young people wearing "flip-flops" in the rain?????? And, whats with all the middle aged men wearing clear plastic sandals?????? WTH?:hmm3grin2orange:
I'd rather see a bare-footed tarheel woman in a grocery store anyday.....

 

[gallegosmike]

I've had the shipping department of a major retailer tell me they don't ship to "Mexico" when I give them my address in New Mexico. I've also had a clerk at UPS tell me the shipping will be more since they are sending it internationally (to Mexico, I guess), again when I give my New Mexico address.

Been there.... Done that too....

I tell them: East of Arizona, South of colorado and East of Texas... Leave out north of OLD mexico! LOL I dont want to confuse the already super confused masses.

 

[wigglesworth]

A few years ago, my work sent me to a training session in cleveland. while there, I met this chap from New Zealand that was there on the training course. One night we ended up going to the Rock and Roll museum to get out of the hotel. Upon leaving the museum, we stopped at the help desk on our way out to get directions to a resturaunt we had heard about, and the old woman at the desk started rolling. I didnt get it at first, but then it hit me, there is a Kiwi and a hillbilly standing in the rock and roll museum as far north as Ive ever been, askin a yankee for directions, and she couldnt understand either of us. If that wasnt worth laughing over, I didnt know what was.

Edit: We never did find that resturaunt.

 

[Straightgrain]

I was waiting in line for a silver dollar at the Andersonville POW gift shop when the lady in front of me said to me:
"Hwell, eye doo deeelare, wee in du-south take much better care uv our battlefields than they do in the north". I relied: Beg your pardon mamme, the only difference I seen is there are more dead prisoners in the southern prisoner camps". She said: "hwell, were do you hail from sir, may I ask?I replied: "out west". She relied: "Hwell!"

 

[woodbooga]

Edit: We never did find that resturaunt.

Never had this happen to me, but it's said that in Maine, they'll g ive you directions twice.

The first set are a roundabout route right back to where you asked for directions in the first place.

If you follow them correctly and get back - demonstrating your ability to follow the directions - they'll tell you where you actually want to go.

Of course, the directions go something like this:

"Nahp. Yah cahn't get thay-ya from hea-yah. Best way is to go down to the four corners. Go on acrosst on the Pickering Road, and keep goin' for a good long while. When you come to the old Colbath home you're gonna go a little further down past the spot whare Nelly Dunbar got kicked by a mule in '47. Boy that was a crying shame. Then just past is the Tatnick rock. You can't see it from the road, but its there. Well go another 10 rods and take your second left onto the Ricker Road. Next you'll see a rock where a turtle likes to sun himself on sunny days, but not rainy ones which today is and then...

 

[ropensaddle]

Ever been accused of being a foreigner?
I was having a conversation last night with a customer on the phone,and I thought it was going well.At the last minute she blew up and said she wants to speak with an American.WTF?
I explained that I am as American as it gets,9 generations can be traced back to the early days of early America.
She fussed and fumed, and said,"anyone that talks like you do cant be from America, put an American on the phone!"
If it didnt tick me off so bad, it would have been funny.
Yeah,its off topic, kinda....But I live here!

Lmao sounds like me when I call all I seem to hear is foreigner's usually India based decent.

 

[fishercat]

speaking of directions...............

Never had this happen to me, but it's said that in Maine, they'll g ive you directions twice.

The first set are a roundabout route right back to where you asked for directions in the first place.

If you follow them correctly and get back - demonstrating your ability to follow the directions - they'll tell you where you actually want to go.

Of course, the directions go something like this:

"Nahp. Yah cahn't get thay-ya from hea-yah. Best way is to go down to the four corners. Go on acrosst on the Pickering Road, and keep goin' for a good long while. When you come to the old Colbath home you're gonna go a little further down past the spot whare Nelly Dunbar got kicked by a mule in '47. Boy that was a crying shame. Then just past is the Tatnick rock. You can't see it from the road, but its there. Well go another 10 rods and take your second left onto the Ricker Road. Next you'll see a rock where a turtle likes to sun himself on sunny days, but not rainy ones which today is and then...

the best ones were from the old codger on the porch in the movie Funny Farm w/ Chevy Chase.i bought the damn DVD because it was so funny and i usually never rent or buy movies.

 

[hywayman13]

Never had this happen to me, but it's said that in Maine, they'll g ive you directions twice.

The first set are a roundabout route right back to where you asked for directions in the first place.

If you follow them correctly and get back - demonstrating your ability to follow the directions - they'll tell you where you actually want to go.

Of course, the directions go something like this:

"Nahp. Yah cahn't get thay-ya from hea-yah. Best way is to go down to the four corners. Go on acrosst on the Pickering Road, and keep goin' for a good long while. When you come to the old Colbath home you're gonna go a little further down past the spot whare Nelly Dunbar got kicked by a mule in '47. Boy that was a crying shame. Then just past is the Tatnick rock. You can't see it from the road, but its there. Well go another 10 rods and take your second left onto the Ricker Road. Next you'll see a rock where a turtle likes to sun himself on sunny days, but not rainy ones which today is and then...

good one...encore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Straightgrain]

Columbus GA when I used to drink soda:

I ordered a diet coke with my meal....she said "we have diet rite?" I said "right...diet", she said "it's called diet rite", I said "right....diet". This went on for about 3 or 4 minutes until I figured it out.

Don't even try to order a Sprite.

Hopkinsville, Kentucky: Pizza Hut...I asked that my family would be seated in the non-smoking section, the waiteress said..."sorry sir, that table is taken".