Here's the deal: you two are in a partnership. You allow him to do the stuff he does, and he goes out and does the stuff.
There is absolutely nothing "snotty" about asking to have your saws back.
But I suppose you could do it in a snotty way.
Just say "BIL please bring me my saws. I need them."
Forget about "nice" "not nice", "snotty;" etc...
Just be courteous and get your saws back.
-br
If you're feeling guilty about the spreader - return it when you ask.
You sound a little like you're walking on eggs for some reason..
You afraid he's pregnant?
Well, I've tried the tactful way and it didn't take....In the end, I want peace within my own family above all else.
.
Here's the solution. In your original post, you said, "(He) then asked me where I buy my saws from, because he needs another saw." So get in the truck, pick him up and take him to look at brand-new Husqvarna and Makita/Dolmar saws. Then he will see how expensive these puppies are. While you're in the store, just be square with him and explain how he took about $700-$900 worth of saws from you and never mentioned it much less brought them back. Explain that you don't want any hard feelings over this since he's family, but that the two of you need to get this squared away. Ask him what he wants to do about this to make things right. Then ask him to get the two saws and you can work on them together.
And just like that you've solved the problem and have a better BIL and a new chainsaw buddy too.
Olyeller
On Sunday, my brother-in law (1 of 3) came over to my house while I was out in my shop. I've been cleaning it up and had all my saws clean and neatly displayed. He remarked that he wished he had built his shop the same way (it is on a slab, stick built, wired, insulated, sheetrocked, and vinyl siding), then asked me where I buy my saws from, because he needs another saw. Big RED flag came out. This is the same guy who I have remarked "permanently borrowed" a Husqvarna 55 and a brand new Makita (50-ish cc model) that I had used for only fifteen minutes (only a slight scratch on the bar paint!). He borrowed them probably three YEARS ago, and I asked him several times to bring them back so I could service them, although he could continue to use them for his (small) landscaping business.
Up until two days ago, I had a glimmer of hope that both saws still lived, but now I bet they are junk (if he still has them). He doesn't maintain equipment, of that I am sure. Part of this issue was my lack of insistence for him to return the saws in a timely manner. I take responsiblity for that. But Sunday I got the feeling he was going to ask to borrow another one (he'll probably do this by asking my wife when I'm not home).
I've already made up my mind that his "borrowing" days from me are over. I feel that a good $700 dollars worth of used-up chain saws sealed that deal. I'm going to instruct my wife that he is not to borrow anything without asking me personally, but she already knows I'm pissed at him. He's not a bad guy - I actually like him - but he is not a responsible person. Now I want to just maintain a level of civility and just write off the two saws as a learning experience for myself. Still, when he (likely) asks to borrow something (namely a saw), I feel a strong urge to qualify my refusal with an ultimatum that he returns both saws in whatever shape they are in, as well. This might get some bad blood boiling on the wife's side of the family because I tend to dig my heels in when I'm angry, and strongly express my reasoning for my stance. I have a sneaking suspicion that IF the saws were still useable, he sold them a while back, but won't admit it. That's why I'm leaning towards seeing two battered pieces, that used to be chain saws, before I call him out.
Any suggestions on how to deal with this? No, I'm not going to beat him up though. Non-violent suggestions please.
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