Just What Makes Ya' Cuss?

[Eccentric]

For me it's honing a chain to perfection so she throws the prettiest chips, then just ever so slightly bumpin' the fence right beside the tree your working on.

Sent my daughters boyfriend and brother haulin' butt for safer ground after one of those episodes yesterday. Was pretty funny later though.:hmm3grin2orange:

Did that one a couple weeks ago. Finished a cut on an oak that'd fallen over a tree (pulling the fence wire with it). Chain was winding down as it JUST caught the wire at the bar tip. Thank God is was slowed down enough that it only slightly buggered up that one cutter. Made me cuss however.....

Yesterday I was putting a freshly rebuilt Tillotson HC carb back on an ancient Bolens Thrifty 3010 saw and cussed MANY times at the right side carb nut. Ain't no damn way to hold the washer and the nut in there while tightening the bolt. No removable covers or brackets for easy access. The lower handle brace is all part of a very intricate drivecase casting. Couldn't even remove the whole intake manifold to make carb installation easier (I tried) as the engine needs to be removed from the drivecase/lower handle brace casting in order for the manifold to clear the studs on the block (why couldn't they have used bolts there???). Managed to get the nut back on (without the washer.........I'd STILL be trying to get it together if I hadn't said "#### the lockwasher") and could JUST hold the nut with my finger while getting the bolt started.

Tightened it down...................and COULDN'T GET MY HAND OUT. Had pinned my hand between the carb and the drivecase/lower handle casting (carb had tilted up enough for my hand to get in, but tilted back down when the bolts were tightened). More cussing. That took some work to get my meathook out of there. Went to start the saw (as it was getting dark...........I'd killed a couple hours trying to get ONE bolt/nut/washer back in), and it had somehow 'lost' spark (had spark supposedly when my friend gave it to me to work on). More cussing, and it's waiting for the next weekend when I have time to pull the flywheel and sort out the points and condensor......................:bang:

 

[HuskStihl]

Stuck bars, trees that haven't read the laws of physics, water in my diesel, rewinding a starter spring, remembering my starter cover is held on by 4 different screws after I break the pull cord and only have tools for three of them, dropping heavy limbs on my HT 131, the hollow tie rods on my kubota, hearing my dealer remind me that a tractor is not a battering ram, my wife "fixing" my ED by refusing to have sex..... I know, I know, these things never happen to y'all (stuck bars, I mean)!

 

[Tazfreak]

When logging coups are finished and loggers have left, heaps of good timber left behind .forestry won,t let woodgetters touch it,forestry burn it immediatly ,ruining good wood coz it,s charred .then charge people a wood permit to cut,collect burnt wood.foresty are wankers.:angry2:

 

[slowp]

I guess I've been a wanker? We do that here too. You can't cut it unless the timber purchaser gives their blessing or the timber sale is over. If the timber sale is over, the road is probably blocked off and the wood gets burned.

I've told my cussing story before. It has actually happened twice, and maybe I should tape my mouth shut.

The one time, we were working in pairs, cutting trees out of the road after a wind event. The road had been cut wide enough by the elk hunters to sqeeze pickups through, but it was a two lane road so we were opening it full width. I went ahead with Twinkle and cut the trees up into sizes for Tippy the Dump Truck to push off with the snowplow blade.

In the afternoon, my bar got pinched good. I yelled out the word FUDGE, except it wasn't fudge. I shut Twinkle off, and turned around. There was an older man and woman standing there. She said, "We wanted to watch. We've never seen a woman run a chainsaw before."

I hope they were hard of hearing.

 

[Whitespider]

Oh man, it's a long list...
But the latest thing is when my daughter and her friends put the golf cart (used as a utility vehicle) in the ditch hard enough to bend the front fork putting the wheel against the frame (it's a three-wheeled, gas powered, Harley Davidson), on a gravel road three miles from the house... and the deputy sheriff gets involved.

That was last week, and we still ain't talkin' to each other.
Ya' just gotta' love teenagers.

 

[Scooterbum]

Did that one a couple weeks ago. Finished a cut on an oak that'd fallen over a tree (pulling the fence wire with it). Chain was winding down as it JUST caught the wire at the bar tip. Thank God is was slowed down enough that it only slightly buggered up that one cutter. Made me cuss however.....

Yesterday I was putting a freshly rebuilt Tillotson HC carb back on an ancient Bolens Thrifty 3010 saw and cussed MANY times at the right side carb nut. Ain't no damn way to hold the washer and the nut in there while tightening the bolt. No removable covers or brackets for easy access. The lower handle brace is all part of a very intricate drivecase casting. Couldn't even remove the whole intake manifold to make carb installation easier (I tried) as the engine needs to be removed from the drivecase/lower handle brace casting in order for the manifold to clear the studs on the block (why couldn't they have used bolts there???). Managed to get the nut back on (without the washer.........I'd STILL be trying to get it together if I hadn't said "#### the lockwasher") and could JUST hold the nut with my finger while getting the bolt started.

Tightened it down...................and COULDN'T GET MY HAND OUT. Had pinned my hand between the carb and the drivecase/lower handle casting (carb had tilted up enough for my hand to get in, but tilted back down when the bolts were tightened). More cussing. That took some work to get my meathook out of there. Went to start the saw (as it was getting dark...........I'd killed a couple hours trying to get ONE bolt/nut/washer back in), and it had somehow 'lost' spark (had spark supposedly when my friend gave it to me to work on). More cussing, and it's waiting for the next weekend when I have time to pull the flywheel and sort out the points and condensor......................:bang:

Super glue the washer to the nut first.Old trick from putting too many Harleys together. I also have many sets of hemostats bent in weird configurations. Super glue can be your best friend. Also been known to glue a nut and washer to a popsickle stick cracked and bent to get it to the right spot.

 

[o8f150]

when you cut a good wedge then start your back cut,,, big hickory starts down the way you want it to then takes a full 90 degree turn and crushes a dumpster :bang::bang::bang: glad the dumpster was insured

 

[Arbonaut]

: Just What Makes Ya' Cuss?

Leaving cell phone in pocket while laying bricks. When you take it out to find out why it keeps beeping, you are one beep away from ordering "Rihanna's Greateast Hits," from I-Tunes.

 

[Eccentric]

Why didn't you tell me beforehand Steve?????

Super glue the washer to the nut first.Old trick from putting too many Harleys together. I also have many sets of hemostats bent in weird configurations. Super glue can be your best friend. Also been known to glue a nut and washer to a popsickle stick cracked and bent to get it to the right spot.

I thought about that, but didn' think the split lockwasher would stick to the nut (or the back of the carb flange as I was also considering). Tried my hemostats. No joy. Just no damn access to that side. Didn't think about using a popsicle stick with the nut (and I have popsicle sticks in the shop for use as 'crud scrapers').

 

[HuskStihl]

when you cut a good wedge then start your back cut,,, big hickory starts down the way you want it to then takes a full 90 degree turn and crushes a dumpster :bang::bang::bang: glad the dumpster was insured

I've found that the quickest way to identify the most valuable item within a 100ft radius is to cut down a tree. In my hands they are better than a f#$%ing divining rod. With nothing around, you can put 5 down exactly where you want them, but the sixth will fall uphill, into the wind right into a storage shed/neighbor's fence/400 y/o live oak etc...

 

[arborealbuffoon]

Had a super small tree removal to get out of the way, and I planned to handle it on the weekend by myself while I was out running errands. Had gotten up early so I got a fresh loop of chain for my ground saw that was going along for the cutting. Filed that brand new loop to a really nice edge, since a factory grind isn't what I consider sharp.

I threw the little 028 in the back of the pickup and headed to the local farm store to grab an item quickly. Got that done and headed to the job site.........only to find that my nice, cleaned up and razor sharp saw had SOMEHOW grown little bitty legs and walked away while I was in the store for 4 minutes. Oh, and there were perfect tennis shoe tracks in the dirt in the truck bed.

I was really mad for quite some time. Then I realized that I can never leave a saw unattended without at least locking them up with a cable/chain to slow down the opportunistic thief. Unfortunately, that saw was not to be the last one stolen from my little fleet.

 

[LegDeLimber]

Did this one last night.
older trimmer (C-ryobi) seems a crusty recoil had sidelined somewhere before much usage.
Still had crosshatch showing in cyl, fires right up, etc.
tear into and deal with recoil, clean and lube drive line
(almost no wear and still had old grease on it)
change fuel lines...

Got the drive tube/shroud portion in the vise while juggling the engine to thread throttle cable through holes.
reach to pick up a screw and need a little cheap nail polish dabbed on..
(holds coarse screws pretty good in covers, buy the ugly colors at $ store)
Not too bad for holding screws in plastic parts pretty well.

Brain F##t moment... grab screw to hang it on t-bit and put a dab of ghetto screw binder on it..
Couldn't do with one hand , sooo my other hand (letting go of trimmer motor) reaches over to help...
...as I see the engine heads towards floor, I realize what I,ve just done.

Even though it landed on set of big heavy commercial grade kitchen mats,
still busted half the top fins off the cylinder.

(swear words)

 

[belgian]

if you are in sales, losing a big project/order on which you have worked for weeks, if not months.....makes you cuss like a logger who gets hit by a widowmaker at clear daylight :msp_cursing:

 

[LegDeLimber]

I thought about that, but didn' think the split lockwasher would stick to the nut (or the back of the carb flange as I was also considering). Tried my hemostats. No joy. Just no damn access to that side. Didn't think about using a popsicle stick with the nut (and I have popsicle sticks in the shop for use as 'crud scrapers').

Sometimes a strong magnet on the other end of the bolt or if work piece will carry magnetic field,
you can sometimes get washers to stay on.
can be handy for those washers and nuts under engines , compressors, etc.

 

[Jon1212]

Bucking a big oak that fell over into a Baptist church parking lot two days before a big bible conference. Mind you this was an act of service i.e. charity, and the pastor said whatever I wanted to take was mine for the taking. They cordoned it off, and marked it private property so I could come back the next day to noodle the rounds into manageable pieces for loading. Well I went back the next afternoon just as some firewood culls were loading the last of the bucked upper sections into their dually with a skid steer with fork attachments. They had already taken all of the rounds. I made sure I wasn't in front of the church when I let fly with a really long string of expletives. They said it was a "misunderstanding". Another string of expletives was loosed on my part.

 

[MiracleRepair]

Customers that are to embarrassed to actually tell you what happened, then they b**ch about the extra time on the bill for diagnosis.

Anymore, I just tell them, I'm going to find out anyway save yourself some money and fess up.

 

[Arbonaut]

I let fly with a really long string of expletives. They said it was a "misunderstanding". Another string of expletives was loosed on my part.

What part of, "I'll be a G3a Danx dirty rotter m$5^7777Fin' SOB'n you lyin' rottin thievin' m@$%&* Fin' Firewood robbin' Mut&*^% French *Radio Edit* Filthy Who$^! you Wood Stealin' Ho&*0Se#@1," did they not understand?

 

[Eccentric]

Sometimes a strong magnet on the other end of the bolt or if work piece will carry magnetic field,
you can sometimes get washers to stay on.
can be handy for those washers and nuts under engines , compressors, etc.

Now that's a dandy idea. The manifold is mag, and the carb body is alluminum. The bolt, washer, and nut were the only steel things in that general area. I'll bet if I'd stuck a strong magnet (I have some little round rare earth magnets that I use to tack things to my shop fridge) on the head of that bolt the washer would've stayed on it while I worked the nut in place. Like I said to Steve.............why didn't you tell me that BEFORE I fought that damn thing yesterday???

 

[Scooterbum]

.why didn't you tell me that BEFORE I fought that damn thing yesterday???

Well what are ya' waiting for? Go take it back apart and try em':hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange:

 

[Jon1212]

Now that's a dandy idea. The manifold is mag, and the carb body is alluminum. The bolt, washer, and nut were the only steel things in that general area. I'll bet if I'd stuck a strong magnet (I have some little round rare earth magnets that I use to tack things to my shop fridge) on the head of that bolt the washer would've stayed on it while I worked the nut in place. Like I said to Steve.............why didn't you tell me that BEFORE I fought that damn thing yesterday???:D

Sumthins jest have to be learnt, at least dats what muh Eenglish teecher use ta sayed.