Really...WTF!?!

Arborist Forum

Help Support Arborist Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

What should I do?


  • Total voters
    31
I'm not offended by jokes, even jokes that make me the brunt.

The "joke" of it ain't subtle, and the "F" word would be more appropriate on a public forum.
Sorry... but that's how see it.
*
Well... this ain't the joke forum.
I've never been accused of havin' a lack of sense of humor... I'm 'bout as broad minded as it gets when it comes to jokes... I'm not offended by jokes, even jokes that make me the brunt.

Two fireman were butt ****ing in a smoke filled room.

Fire chief runs in& yells, "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?"

Fireman says, "Sir, this man has smoke inhalation."

Fire chief shouts, "Well why don't you give him mouth to mouth then?"

Fireman says, "I DID! How do you think this **** got started?"
 
Two fireman were...

A cruise ship sinks in the ocean, hundreds of people drown... three manage to survive and swim to an island.
Bill, Tom, and Susie are alone on this island for two years... just the three of them.

Now understand, Susie was raised to be a proper lady, it bothered her greatly what was happening between her and the two men.
It ate away at her for two years before she couldn’t stand it anymore… she committed suicide.

This was devastating for Bill and Tom… after two years they’d become accustom to having Susie, now it was just the two of them.
Still, life goes on, there are urges and needs; after all, they were alone on the island… who would know?
But it just wasn’t the same.
After three weeks of this new arrangement they were becoming ever more uncomfortable with what they were doin'.
Bill and Tom decided to sit down and have a talk, come to an agreement on how to handle the whole thing.

That night they built a nice fire on the beach, sat down and had a long talk.
After some open and honest dialog they finally came to a conclusion.

They…

decided…

it…

was…

probably…

time…

to…

bury Susie.

++++++++++++++

What makes a joke good ain’t the foul language… it’s the delivery.

What makes a joke good ain’t the crass descriptivism… it’s how it’s delivered.

I’ve heard your joke before, it’s an old, old joke… and it was a lot funnier without the vulgarisms.

Usually, by lettin’ the imagination of the listener form a picture in the mind’s eye, it will be a lot funnier to the listener.

But hey… some people can tell ‘em, some can’t.

Just sayin’.
*
 
A new inmate arrives at the prison.
The first night there one of the trusties comes by his cell with the book cart and hands him a notebook.
"What's this??"
The trusty explains that everyone in the prison has heard all the jokes so many times they've memorized 'em, and given 'em numbers... that way when anyone wants to tell a joke all they need to do is say the number. The notebook contains the list of numbered jokes.

So the next mornin' at breakfast an inmate stands up and calls out, "Number 64"... everyone starts laughin'.
The new guy pulls out the notebook, reads the joke and starts gigglin'.

A bit later another inmate stands up and calls out, "Number 138"... everyone starts laughin'.
The new guy pulls out the notebook, reads the joke and starts gigglin'.

Just before breakfast is finished the new inmate stands up and calls out, "Number 87"... no one laughs, not even a giggle.
So he looks at the guy next to him and asks, "What's wrong with that one? I read it, it's a real funny joke."

The guy next to him looks over and says, "Hey… some guys can tell ‘em, some can’t."
*
 
Felt like that at my old house.

I had a neighbor build a house and dig a pond next to my first house. The outlet of the pond was into my front yard.

When I mentioned he was turning my front yard into a swamp he basically said get over it.
So I dug a pond twice the size of his and used the spoils to build a 150' long berm. When I sold the house there was 1.5' to 3' of standing water across the back of his property.
 
A cruise ship sinks in the ocean, hundreds of people drown... three manage to survive and swim to an island.
Bill, Tom, and Susie are alone on this island for two years... just the three of them.

Now understand, Susie was raised to be a proper lady, it bothered her greatly what was happening between her and the two men.
It ate away at her for two years before she couldn’t stand it anymore… she committed suicide.

This was devastating for Bill and Tom… after two years they’d become accustom to having Susie, now it was just the two of them.
Still, life goes on, there are urges and needs; after all, they were alone on the island… who would know?
But it just wasn’t the same.
After three weeks of this new arrangement they were becoming ever more uncomfortable with what they were doin'.
Bill and Tom decided to sit down and have a talk, come to an agreement on how to handle the whole thing.

That night they built a nice fire on the beach, sat down and had a long talk.
After some open and honest dialog they finally came to a conclusion.

They…

decided…

it…

was…

probably…

time…

to…

bury Susie.

++++++++++++++

What makes a joke good ain’t the foul language… it’s the delivery.

What makes a joke good ain’t the crass descriptivism… it’s how it’s delivered.

I’ve heard your joke before, it’s an old, old joke… and it was a lot funnier without the vulgarisms.

Usually, by lettin’ the imagination of the listener form a picture in the mind’s eye, it will be a lot funnier to the listener.

But hey… some people can tell ‘em, some can’t.

Just sayin’.
*
Wow you're a great teller of jokes, is there anything you can't do, I mean really your are great at everything if you don't believe me just ask yourself. I especially like the way you pat yourself on the back and let everyone know what a great joke teller you are. Bravo, I say,bravo.
 
Workin' for over 30 years as a full-time/part-time bartender (still doin' it), in at least as many bars as years, ya' hear a lot of jokes.
There ain't much more boring than listenin' to someone who can't tell a joke without bustin' the delivery.
If ya' laugh at your own joke... ya' likely wrecked it.

Just sayin'.
*
 
Wow you're a great teller of jokes, is there anything you can't do, I mean really your are great at everything if you don't believe me just ask yourself. I especially like the way you pat yourself on the back and let everyone know what a great joke teller you are. Bravo, I say,bravo.

...just chimin' in...why do you ask others to do what YOU need to do?.? Get off your damn arrogant 'horse' cowboy...I tested the waters with you today, gave you likes on a couple of threads, but zero seems to satiate you. If there's any damn soul on this forum that knows, been there done that ****, speaks the damn truth...its the mans WISDOM. And you Ironworker, NEED to sit back and take second seat...is that ok for your arrogant ass??? Hell, I sit back in the cheap seats tryin to learn and absorb the knowledge this man has. I find his talk, typing to be 99% spot on!!! If it were any other, I'd think folks would jump on the bandwagon, and pound his azz.

Maybe ya need to get off your arrogant, $164K a yr ass, and try to LISTEN...instead of talk. Then again, you ain't gonna do ****, except try to SELL the world YOUR WAY OF THINKIN...good luck, hardheaded fool!!!

...just sayin!!,...my little poor ass in mid -Ga. Might wanna file a damn grievance...see where that gets ya. Lol

Tired of givin you opportunities to 'RIGHT' yourself on this forum...hell, I ain't far from 'ignoring' you. You can correct this...this is simply my own opinion, of course it means nuthin to yo, I'm sure. PUT THE DAMN ARROGANT HORSE IN THE BARN...JUST FOR A LITTLE, IF NOTHING ELSE.
 
To all, I apologize for goin off on a tangent. I know this thread doesn't deserve it...

Ironworker... I apologize to you as well. But put the arrogant, ' I'm in defensive posture mode all the time'...to rest. I guarantee you bro, you know ten times more the skill in your job than I do...I promise you I know ten times more in the aviation industry, military aircraft, where I make my livin...than you do.

...let's call a spade a' spade my man...share info and good posts on this site...be HUMBLE at times...its ok dude. My personal experience, everyone one of you folks know 10x more than I do when it comes to fallin trees, cuttin em up, puttin em on a splitter. I can't even imagine the amount of wood you folks hafta go out and get, to keep the homestead warm for yourselves or family.

I'm humble now Ironworker...just laid my cards on the table for all to read...I ain't ashamed nor nuthin...is what it is my man. Maybe you should lower the 'guard' just a little. I came to this site for one thing and one damn thing only...called KNOWLEDGE...and I ain't been let down yet...I wish you the best my man, I'll still like your posts when they're relevant, maybe you can afford me the same.
 
Well.....all righty then.

Let's chill out. Maybe have a beer if that helps.

Ironworker, I enjoy your posts, as do others.

Your pic didn't offend me and I found it amusing. It wasn't put together quite right imho, but that's irrelevant.

If the powers that be decided delete it, then so be it. They have a right to do that. This isn't your site.

It certainly could be offensive to some people. Whether or not you recognize that is also irrelevant.

Anyhow....Let's stop attacking each other. What good ever comes out of that?
 
Here is a "joke" from a local paper a county over, small town maybe 400-500 people, paper is old.....enjoy

20150409_205221_zps9b1e607e.jpg


If'n you want more, I can look for old issues....great stuff there
 
To all, I apologize for goin off on a tangent. I know this thread doesn't deserve it...

Ironworker... I apologize to you as well. But put the arrogant, ' I'm in defensive posture mode all the time'...to rest. I guarantee you bro, you know ten times more the skill in your job than I do...I promise you I know ten times more in the aviation industry, military aircraft, where I make my livin...than you do.

...let's call a spade a' spade my man...share info and good posts on this site...be HUMBLE at times...its ok dude. My personal experience, everyone one of you folks know 10x more than I do when it comes to fallin trees, cuttin em up, puttin em on a splitter. I can't even imagine the amount of wood you folks hafta go out and get, to keep the homestead warm for yourselves or family.

I'm humble now Ironworker...just laid my cards on the table for all to read...I ain't ashamed nor nuthin...is what it is my man. Maybe you should lower the 'guard' just a little. I came to this site for one thing and one damn thing only...called KNOWLEDGE...and I ain't been let down yet...I wish you the best my man, I'll still like your posts when they're relevant, maybe you can afford me the same.


You posted your reply while I was typing mine, but thanks. Well said.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top