So I was trimming this palm tree...

[EdenT]

Dear Diary

Dear Diary

It is the yuletide. The nights are long and there is much merriment. We have been camped for almost a week now and as so often happens on these long lonely expeditions the men’s thoughts have turned to wood chippers. There is currently a debate in progress as to what improvements should be made on the next model. There are three main schools of thought on the subject.

1. The Nannies - those who think that the chippers should be made child friendly with nap cushions and emergency blankies.

2. The Frankenstinians - those who think that in addition to the standard PPE , we should issue chipper operators with their own brain.

3. The Darwinians – Those who think chippers should be made to actively hunt down and eat the inexperienced to evolve a stronger, smarter breed of Arborist.

For my own part I would just like them to come in nicer colors. Pastels maybe?

In God we trust
opcorn:

 

[ROOTSXROCKS]

Dear Diary

It is the yuletide. The nights are long and there is much merriment. We have been camped for almost a week now and as so often happens on these long lonely expeditions the men’s thoughts have turned to wood chippers. There is currently a debate in progress as to what improvements should be made on the next model. There are three main schools of thought on the subject.

1. The Nannies - those who think that the chippers should be made child friendly with nap cushions and emergency blankies.

2. The Frankenstinians - those who think that in addition to the standard PPE , we should issue chipper operators with their own brain.

3. The Darwinians – Those who think chippers should be made to actively hunt down and eat the inexperienced to evolve a stronger, smarter breed of Arborist.

For my own part I would just like them to come in nicer colors. Pastels maybe?

In God we trust
opcorn:

hmmm I suppose IM in # 3 camp Pastel wood chippers . I think there are a few pink ones out there.
I think a simple b&w zebra stripe with Bright red accents would be best.

 

[EdenT]

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,
Why didn’t I listen to my wife? She told me I was crazy to embark on a venture such as this, with a company composed only of Arborists. After more than a week in the wilderness, we have enough firewood to put an Arborist on the moon, but do you think any-one will do the dishes? The only woman in our company, Bermie, is no help at all. If anyone even mentions dishes within earshot of her, she guns her chainsaw and laughs manically.

It has come to my attention that NC has an ongoing ‘condition’. In his own words, he has been ‘nuts his whole life’. Given the early age of diagnosis one must question the wisdom of whoever taught this man how to use a chainsaw.

This endless waiting combined with the festivities is beginning to become predictable. Every evening of inebriated merriment gives way to a morning of bleakness and hangover somehow worse than the last. Despair over the lack of progress in the Jomoco Lovstrom expedition kicks in by late afternoon and this in turn, leads back to inebriation.

In God we trust
opcorn:

 

[treevet]

Mr. Jomoco has been waylaid by feeling it is his obligation to waylay the entire national population of groundmen (and to be pc....groundwomen) from perpetually diving headfirst through whole tree woodchippers for no apparent reason. I tip my cap to him but, like you and the entire membership here at Arboristsite, we wish he would get back on task and, with Jeff, complete his original preassigned mission. opcorn:

 

[jefflovstrom]

He has old VHS video to format. Give him time
Jeff

 

[jefflovstrom]

Ah. Check out this video. You will see that system in action.

http://www.arboristsite.com/showthread.php?t=118813

It is commonly referred to as an adjustable false crotch. The portawrap is used to ensure the rope is secure and to allow a competent groundie to lower a climber out of the tree in case of an accident. I would not recommend using such a system for a 360 degree pruning job on a palm as you run the risk of cutting the bull rope and dropping yourself out of the tree! I use it for access only then switch over to a pulley & webbing sling false crotch wrapped around the heart of Washingtonia palms.

Yale XTC fire works equally well for dragging through the heads of palms due to its close exterior weave. The real challenge lies in dragging the knot which joins the throwline to the climbing line through the head of the palm. I have found that if you get a fair way out from the base so that the line is about 45 degrees to the ground you can "work" the knot through the head with a little practise. Ok, a lot of practise.

Did the customer ask you to leave all that fruit and flowers up there?
Jeff

 

[jefflovstrom]

BTW Eden, we can read your diary. How old are you? 6 or 7?
Jeff

 

[Bermie]

Dishes...dishes...where's my fetting chainsaw...

Unless we have a dishwasher in the wilderness...oh that would be jefflovstrom, and HE's MIA!...come back jeff, I have lotion for your chapped hands sweetie...

 

[ForTheArborist]

That pic of OOMT in that palm is exactly how my WA Fan Palms are going to be cleaned up from now on. Working up through their skirts to the top is just playn dirty. From the crown down... that makes a clean job. Hopefully rope placement isn't a hang up in Fans like in Queens.

OOMT, you always clean up nice here, and you deserve more rep points, but seriously think Papa smurf isn't going to budge for that attack, Brainy. If there were better ways to get any kind of palm, I'm on board with that. I, myself, wrote a "how to" a couple of months ago for how to trim a Date Palm on a ladder with a top handle. There is a little sequence to putting the "charm" on the tree.

 

[EdenT]

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

The strain is definitely beginning to affect morale. Treeco, TMD, and NC have been bickering constantly and have almost come to blows on several occasions. Nobody has a clue what the problem is, but everyone loves to watch a good fight. RF dropped in to say that if he hears one more bedtime story about topping he will kick some butt. Given that RF sleeps in his spurs this threat must be taken seriously.

We have received a word back from the expedition. Apparently they have some information regarding the hallowed "Old School Method for Pruning CI Date Palms", however it is encoded in an ancient language. Our linguists have ruled out Aramaic and Sanskrit and believe it may be a language almost as ancient and extinct, called VHS. They have sent back this tablet which may contain some clues, or maybe it is just Lovstroms birth certificate.

The second hieroglyph in the second line seems to allude to a Washingtonia choking a climber while breaking their back, in the manner described by Magargal et al. The first three symbols on the third line seem to say, ‘If you work on the head of a Phoenix expect tears'. But the last two symbols on that line shows palm fronds falling, in conjunction with a climbing line and this gives me hope.

In God we trust
opcorn:

 

[outofmytree]

Did the customer ask you to leave all that fruit and flowers up there?
Jeff

I see your Jomoco muscle is in perfect working order. Thats the one that both opens your mouth and inserts your foot at the same time. Look at the photograph again. Note the Washingtonia in the background sans fronds? This was 2 removals. The photograph was to illustrate the rigging.

 

[outofmytree]

He has old VHS video to format. Give him time
Jeff

Honestly. You boys have the worst excuses. In the BS sweepstakes I had money on "the dog ate my homework".

What is wrong with posting your own work? There is no surer indication of insecurity than having to borrow names to lend yourselves credibility.

If I ask a question of Treeseer or John Paul Sanborn or Treevet or Olddirty or Ropensaddle or any one of a dozen seasoned veterans they can post a picture of their own work in an hour. I don't put myself in their class but my pictures are up there to be picked apart too. But you pair of "palm experts" have so little of your own evidence that you have to borrow a video of another climber that is so old its in VHS?

 

[Bermie]

Dear Diary,

It's gone on long enough, ET has started posting his anthropological archaeological discoveries on-line...the inner secrets of the tough man tree guys are starting to leak out, the secret of CI palm frond removal is soon to be revealed...then all the posturing will be for naught and the women can come out of the shadows...
I think I'll go put some gaff guards on RF's spurs while he sleeps 'cause I'm about to go check the topping situation

 

[tree MDS]

Dear Diary,

The strain is definitely beginning to affect morale. Treeco, TMD, and NC have been bickering constantly and have almost come to blows on several occasions. Nobody has a clue what the problem is, but everyone loves to watch a good fight. RF dropped in to say that if he hears one more bedtime story about topping he will kick some butt. Given that RF sleeps in his spurs this threat must be taken seriously.

We have received a word back from the expedition. Apparently they have some information regarding the hallowed "Old School Method for Pruning CI Date Palms", however it is encoded in an ancient language. Our linguists have ruled out Aramaic and Sanskrit and believe it may be a language almost as ancient and extinct, called VHS. They have sent back this tablet which may contain some clues, or maybe it is just Lovstroms birth certificate.

The second hieroglyph in the second line seems to allude to a Washingtonia choking a climber while breaking their back, in the manner described by Magargal et al. The first three symbols on the third line seem to say, ‘If you work on the head of a Phoenix expect tears'. But the last two symbols on that line shows palm fronds falling, in conjunction with a climbing line and this gives me hope.

In God we trust
opcorn:

I dont know who this dude is, or where he came from, but I say he's a welcomed addition to Fight Club...I mean AS.

 

[ROOTSXROCKS]

I dont know who this dude is, or where he came from, but I say he's a welcomed addition to Fight Club...I mean AS.

Epic commentator and reader of the Plates of Nephi

 

[EdenT]

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

The tablet we have received has bought hope with it. The men are fighting less and once more focused on the task at hand. I give thanks to God. Our company includes some gifted arborists who have been tutored by the Mensa. Their minds have been invaluable in figuring out the code which may bring this epic quest to a conclusion. I have hopes that the entire tablet will be deciphered by next year.

Roots made the first breakthrough when he recognised the language it is written in as Nephite or a dialect of it. My initial guesses it seems were relatively close to the mark. The symbol for a palm tree is

and when combined with the symbol for a person

form

which does indeed depict a person having their thoracic vertebra dislocated and their ability to respire compromised. This led to the further realisation that what I initially thought was a climbing line

was in fact a pole belt and the first glyph is showing whereabouts it should be set when cleaning the palm tree.

One other breakthrough was made revealing the surprising technological achievements of the Nephites which was that this symbol

is quite clearly a rear handled chainsaw.

I must get back to work now. Every minute lost is a minute longer that this quest will continue.

In God we trust
opcorn:

 

[treevet]

I dont know who this dude is, or where he came from, but I say he's a welcomed addition to Fight Club...I mean AS.

Rule #1.....we don't mention Arboristsite (er I mean Fight Club)

 

[treevet]

blah blah blahblah blah blah blah

 

[Bermie]

blah blah blahblah blah blah blah

Ah sour grapes...this is FUNNY!:biggrinbounce2:
Somebody rep the ET, cause I'm out at the moment

 

[treevet]

Ah sour grapes...this is FUNNY!:biggrinbounce2:
Somebody rep the ET, cause I'm out at the moment

no sour grapes....just a vague attempt at humor by disguising the message in the edit part of the post.