What's the best BS sales pitch you ever got from a dealer?

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On a wood splitter..."No, it's not a Honda motor. The parts inside are just like a Honda but they're a lot lighter" And..."We have a trained service man that does all the assembly but he's out sweeping the parking lot right now".

I get a similar response from some manufacturers.
Who makes the engine on this log splitter?
Oh it's a Chinese copy of a Honda.
Who do I get parts through?
We stock all the engine parts.
Ok I'd like to order a carburetor, and piston, and and air filter assembly.
Huh?
Yeah if you guys stock all the engine parts I'd like to order them right now to have them in stock.
Well Sir, it will be a couple weeks before we have those in stock.
Ok I don't think I think I want to sell your product if you don't even have simple parts in stock.

Well I can get a better splitter to sell with a real Honda, and it's only about 300$ more retail.
 
Out west everything is extremely price competetive on big saws because the demand for them is much greater. If i want to order a wrap handle anything from Husky it's a pain cause they always come up "not available from your warehouse" and I have to phone in and wait a week or two to get it. Since they don't stock wrap handles at their main warehouse in Charlotte.

With Stihl it's even longer cause my distributor stocks no wrap handles or conversion parts at all. 3 weeks to get a wrap handle and hardware for a a 361.

That is weird. I live just a few miles from the main distribution center in Charlotte.

Full wrap just isn't something I see that much around here, and I can't figure out why. Only my 394 has one, but I've considered getting one for my 281 and possibly my 372.
 
local small engine/parts place:
asked the wife to get me a new chain for the echo. i said anything but 33sl saftey chain. i come home later and theres the reciept '33sl'. i go to the place myself and ask why did he make 33sl? he said non-saftey chain is too dangerous. (he didn't have any real chain).

two different local stihl dealers:
place #1 'no we don't sell stihl plug wire, you have to buy a coil to get that'.
place #2 'nah, those plug wires come on the coil'.

dealer #1 mentioned above:
i called in part #s and description, for them to order. i get a call back 1/2 hour later, 'what saw are these for?' and saying that my chain catcher #s numbers were wrong. i get on mediacat and walk him through the ipl to my roller catchers, on the phone.
'o.k. i see them now. i'll get them ordered'. WTF? why'd you need to see them? i gave them the numbers!:dizzy:

dealer #2 mentioned above:
'yes, the four-mix trimmers do have valves... but they aren't really a four stroke with the compression stroke, exhaust stroke, ect'.

in leesburg virginia:
'we don't sharpen chains here. buy a new one. you gotsa pay!!!'.:)
 
I got punished for buying an aftermarket P/C. There is a stud for the top plastic missing from the Woodsman that is already installed on the Stihl. When I called to buy a stud, I was told "that's special order....We can have it for you next week".
 
When they insert the needle it doesn't hurt. After the injection your skin starts to glow alittle orange for abit and then your back to normal,haha.

You'll be staying at the beach facing the ocean, its really nice. The first day of class you get to meet Eddie. He's a big guy, about 6 foot 9, 250 lbs, arms like cannons. He greets everyone at the door by asking if you sell Stihl only. If you do you can go in first, if you don't you are pulled off to the side and allowed to come in last and sit at the very back of the class.

Once seated he shows some video's. One is of a guy out in the river fishing. He finds a good spot where the fish are biting. He tosses out a 372 Husky tied to a rope into the river as a anchor. The second video shows two neighbors out in the yard blowing leaves. One using a Stihl and one using a Echo. The guy with the Stihl turns toward his neighbor and blows the poor guy up out the yard. He lands in the street and gets run over by a taxi cab.
The third video shows Woodie over at Thall's place. Woodie is mouthing off how great his J'red is and all the sudden a huge fist with Stihl written across the knuckles pops Woodie under the chin and he lands on a 747 flying overhead never to be seen again.

After the vids Eddie takes a minute to tell everyone welcome, even the low lifes in back of the class. Then the fun begins, books open everyone. The teaching manual has pics of beautifull Stihl saws and old raggy worn out other brands. Eddie tells the class the Stihl's never loose their shine and if they do its the owners fault.

Then comes lunch over at the Stihl cafe. The walls are painted bright lime green. They will blind you. All the food is dyed orange and white, even the tators and bread. They serve coke and pepsi but they too are orange.

After that you get to tour the factory. You will think your in prison cause all the workers wear bright orange jumpsuits with Stihl writtten across the chest and back.

After the factory tour you go back to class and then things really get good. Behind the building they have a pig pin with three big ole hogs rolling around in foot deep mud. All the guys who sell other brands beside Stihl get tossed in the pig pin by Eddie. The guys who sell Stihl only get to hose them off after 30 minutes.

Then its back in the class. The guys who sell other brands besides Stihl get a bucket of water, sponge and knee pads. They have to get on all four and scrub the floor while the others get to watch a repeat of American Loggers.

Thats it for the first day. Day two gets more detailed and entertaining,hehe

ANd it gets even better in that "road trip thread" started by blood on the ice! Good honest fun..need to lighten this one up a bit!
 
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Selling stuff activates the bullsh!tter in some people

Awesome repair shop near me, guy running it can fix anything and routinely spots problems overlooked by other service shops.

I'm lucky, he's five minutes away and he's also a Dolmar dealer.

So I go in to check out a 5105. First he tries to interest me in a PS-7300. Too big, I tell him, and relate my carpel tunnel issue, also bringing up my 066's rubber AV mounts. "That's what Dolmar uses, is rubber AV mounts." I tell him I can see a spring on the 7300 he just showed me. oh, I guess they did switch over to springs!

Finally I ask about the 5105. He doesn't have one in stock, says it's in back but he has to assemble it (huh?), but puts in a PS-510 in my hands and says it feels the same. Then he starts gushing about the 5105 spinning at 14,500 rpms and being the "fastest cutting saw in the world". So WTF did he try to sell me the 7300 for if this cheaper saw cuts faster? I ask him how many horsepower the 5105 has (I like to ask questions about specs that I already know), he doesn't know, so instead he tells me "chainsaws don't go by horsepower, they go by CCs". Ok, so why should pay extra for the 5105 when this 510 has the same CCs? My brain began hurting so I got a price and told him I might be back for it. BTW, price was $500 with an extra chain thrown in. Is the 5105 really that much more than the 5100 S?

It's strange, otherwise rational people flip into salesman mode and the oral diarrhea kicks in uncontrollably. "I don't know" is apparently not in their vocabulary.
 
I read most of the post on this thread and have found that the majority of OPE dealers are very honest people. After they talk to you for a few minutes they will know you're not the typical consumer. The OPE dealership I deal with, and I have been a customer for about 25 years now, have hard working folks both behind the counter and in the shop. Hell, I've got to be such good friends with them they will call me to show me something unusual with the product lines they sell. They sell Stihl, Husky and Echo in their saw product line.

Now to the horror story.

Some time ago my wife and myself were at one of the big hardware stores, I won't spell out which one but it starts with an "M", has a song you save big money, or some such crap and I wondered off to the chainsaw aisle. They sell a selection of saws, Efco, which ain't half bad from what I hear, Poulan, no comment, Blue Max, Wein, McCulloch and maybe more.

As I walked down the asile Dad, Mom, and two daugthers come walking up and are looking at the Blue Max saws. Read on, here comes the good part.

Up walks Barbie Twinkle toes, wearing a blue smock and says, "Gonna buy a chainsaw today"? You know and have seen the type, blonde, way too much eye makeup, late twenties, early thirties, struggled to get out of 8th grade recess, mainly sells patio chairs, swings, shovels, rakes, hoes, etc, no pun intended. She goes on to tell these folks how great the Blue and Yellow saws are, and that they are a great product, and if they wern't "we wound'nt sell them". The dad ask a couple of questions and gets a blank stare in return and barbie says she can get someone else to answer his questions. Grandma walks up and ask a question about cow manure or something and off goes Barbie to make another big sale.

I walk up to dad, mom and the daughters and hold out my hand to him and ask a couple of questions;

Buying the saw for yourself?

Nope, buying for my future son in law.

Does he currently own a saw?

Yeah, an old Homelite.

I go on to tell him about some of the product line on display and how important it is to buy from a dealer that also services what they sell. I tell him about my favorite OPE dealer and yes, you may spent a little more money, but you get product support, a saw that is correctly tuned, straight answers on questions about the product, rather than someone that doesn't know a chainsaw from a 2X4 or a 50 pound bag of cow manure.

I follow up with my dealer later on and he said thanks for the referral, and they bought two saws, one for him, and one for his future son in law. They ended up buying an MS-250 and an MS-290, not my first choice, but to each his own.

On the other hand;

I went into one of the other big box stores last week and wondered into the saw aisle looking at the Huskys. I won't name them but they sponsor the guy thats won everything cept the trophy girl for the last four years. I'm looking at the 455 and voice from over my left shoulder says, " Can I help you sir'? I put the saw down and turn around to see a typical midwestern farm girl, not the prettiest by any means, but she said the word "Sir".

She goes on to say that her dad always ran Husky saws and her grandpa ran McCullochs and later Stihls. Both mom and dad and grandma and grandpa burned wood and it was just one of the other chores we had growing up.
Oh yeah, which McCullochs and Stihls, she calmly replied " the McCulloch was a solid yellow saw, I think it was a 650, and grandpas big saw was an 038. She went on to sat her dad had a Husky 50 and later on a 55. This young lady knows her saws, in talking to her she is going to college and working here to have additional spending money and not to rely on mom and dad so much. My kinda of girl, hell if I was thirty years younger I'd ask her out, for that matter I may introduce her to my son.

I was so impressed by this I bought two gallons of bar lube and two six packs of mix, nice young lady, restores my faith in the young people that America is producing today.

Long post, sorry for the rant.

:cheers:
 
I have had several blank stares from sales people.....

They think you know less about the saw than they do(and that ain't much) and try to sound smart.
 
Between seeing what you guys are posting here, and what I hear from my own customers. There are a lot of shops that have employees that rather spout off something wrong, than take the time to go look it up. I've only worked in the shop for 3 years, I have to look stuff up all the time, but I rather take the time and be right. Than have the customer come back and tell me I'm full of sh*t, which they will do.
 
That is weird. I live just a few miles from the main distribution center in Charlotte.

Full wrap just isn't something I see that much around here, and I can't figure out why. Only my 394 has one, but I've considered getting one for my 281 and possibly my 372.

I only get asked about a full wrap once every couple months or so and most people won't wait for it so they just buy the regular flush handle
 
They think you know less about the saw than they do(and that ain't much) and try to sound smart.

I know this Forum is about saws and such but I just got back from the National Taco chain joint where my order comes out to be $6.48. I say to myself O.K, you've got enough ones in your wallet so I give her a Ten, a One and 48 cents in change. I get this blank stare and the reactor starts to shut down. She looks at me wearing a World of Outlaws sweatshirt and an Echo cap like I just fripping fell offa mars.

He comes Mr. assistant manager to assist the cashier, he's lost, no help from that dude, here comes the manager on duty, all 300 pounds of her, she's lost so I says to myself;

Time for Jerrys theoretical mathematics course. I get three blank stares in return when I try to explain I need a five dollar bill in return. Miss manager on duty puffs out and says, " we don't normally do that". Do what, give someone their correct change?

In the post I did on this thread I talked about having faith in Americas young people, cancel that.

I says, give me my money back, whip out my card, enter pin, get order and get the hell out of there before I blow a gasket.

The guy behind me nearly had a stroke he was laughing so hard.

God bless America!

:givebeer:

And any other alcohol; you got!
 
I know this Forum is about saws and such but I just got back from the National Taco chain joint where my order comes out to be $6.48. I say to myself O.K, you've got enough ones in your wallet so I give her a Ten, a One and 48 cents in change. I get this blank stare and the reactor starts to shut down. She looks at me wearing a World of Outlaws sweatshirt and an Echo cap like I just fripping fell offa mars.

He comes Mr. assistant manager to assist the cashier, he's lost, no help from that dude, here comes the manager on duty, all 300 pounds of her, she's lost so I says to myself;

Time for Jerrys theoretical mathematics course. I get three blank stares in return when I try to explain I need a five dollar bill in return. Miss manager on duty puffs out and says, " we don't normally do that". Do what, give someone their correct change?

In the post I did on this thread I talked about having faith in Americas young people, cancel that.

I says, give me my money back, whip out my card, enter pin, get order and get the hell out of there before I blow a gasket.

The guy behind me nearly had a stroke he was laughing so hard.

God bless America!

:givebeer:

And any other alcohol; you got!

the rocket scientists can enter the amount given to them and the register tells them the correct change to make.
and they couldn't even do that? :dizzy:
 
Good thread. Here's one that happened this past Saturday. Fellow posted on this site a few months back about his 5100 frying. He was given a hardtime by the Dolmar loyists which is ok, nothing wrong with that though he didn't expect it. He stop posting altogether. Saturday he stopped by and goes do you remember me, I was the guy with 5100 troubles and was checking on the MS200RH awhile back. I go yeahhhhhhhhhhh I remember you, did you get that 5100 fixed yet. He goes no, its still in the shop. I go well they'll get it going, its a pretty good saw, don't beleive all that you was told about it on the arb site, what can I do for ya. He goes I decided I want that 200. I go great, lets go get it. Heading to the rack I slipped a "you don't beleive all that BS on the arb site do you", he goes hell no,LOLOLOL He bought his new 200 and left a happy camper. Moral of the story, BS comes in many forms, just gotta know how to use it,hahaha
 
I know this Forum is about saws and such but I just got back from the National Taco chain joint where my order comes out to be $6.48. I say to myself O.K, you've got enough ones in your wallet so I give her a Ten, a One and 48 cents in change. I get this blank stare and the reactor starts to shut down. She looks at me wearing a World of Outlaws sweatshirt and an Echo cap like I just fripping fell offa mars.

He comes Mr. assistant manager to assist the cashier, he's lost, no help from that dude, here comes the manager on duty, all 300 pounds of her, she's lost so I says to myself;

Time for Jerrys theoretical mathematics course. I get three blank stares in return when I try to explain I need a five dollar bill in return. Miss manager on duty puffs out and says, " we don't normally do that". Do what, give someone their correct change?

In the post I did on this thread I talked about having faith in Americas young people, cancel that.

I says, give me my money back, whip out my card, enter pin, get order and get the hell out of there before I blow a gasket.

The guy behind me nearly had a stroke he was laughing so hard.

God bless America!

:givebeer:

And any other alcohol; you got!

:jawdrop::ices_rofl::ices_rofl::ices_rofl::laugh::laugh:

I had to rep you for that one, I've had that happen to me more than once.

If you can't make out my rep quote Its because I was laughing so hard I hit enter by mistake,LOL!!!


We don't normally do that! I WOULD HAVE PISSED MY PANTS!
 
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8 Bucks to sharpen a chain up to 28 at our local shop :dizzy:

$7.50 in Va no matter if its 1 foot or 3 foot. 10.00 if I gotta take it off the saw, yup 2.50 extra for getting my hands dirty, no on the spot sharpening unless your buying another saw. If you only own one chain you will own two before your one gets sharpened, yup, ya gotsa payyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!
 
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