Ya gotta hear this one!

[hoosier daddy]

Got a call from my daughter (she was 17 at the time) and said that her car was acting funny. In the process of quizzing her on what funny was she said that she added some oil...she did this because she pulled the dipstick and it was not quite on full...(I did teach her to pull the dipstick and where the full mark was)...anyway when she pulled it in the shop I too pulled the dipstick and she was way above the mark. I asked her if she still had the oil container and she pulled an empty gallon jug from the trunk...She explained to me that buying oil by the gallon is cheaper than by the quart and that she'd decided to add oil once a week because the guy at "quickie lube (not the real name)" told her that she was a little low at her recent oil change...Two weeks ago...

Gotta give her credit for caring...but debit for the blond roots...still love her though.

The best one ever was when one of her friends was visiting she was explaining how disturbed she was because her older brother had accidently mowed a nest of bunnies earlier in the day...she was so p#@@ed because he did NOT engage the bunny guard??? She explained that every time she mowed she made certian that "bunny gaurd" was on...After what seemed like eternity she explained that there is a lever on their mower that had turtle guard and bunny guard and that because they were far from water they never had to worry about turtles...She was serious and did not understand the laughter...next time you hop on the mower make sure engage bunny guard...I still laugh to this day...

 

[poorboypaul]

When the wife and I were letting our labs breed, I came home from work to find the wife and the dogs outside. The were coupled up and attached and walking around. Just then my teenage stepson comes up and says they were like that this morning. He had let them out to go to the bathroom, and when they came back in the house they were tied together. My stepson thought they had frozen together since it was a frosty morning, and proceeded to uncouple them with a hair dryer. We still don't let him live that one down.

 

[Cowboy Billy]

Well he did a lot better than some 45 yr old friend of my cousins. The guy wanted to borrow a tractor so my cousin took his 8N ford over told him he had to turn on the gas when he used it and turn it off when he was done. He gets it started and it stalls out forgetting to turn the gas on. So he takes the cap off and fills the radiator up with gas and runs the battery dead trying to start it. My cousin gets over there finds out what he did drains the radiator tells him to go get some water and he comes back with three 8 oz bottles

Billy

 

[double E]

Yep, I own one of those. (I do love her though)

She just don’t get it... the flue damper on my old stove. I’ve explained the whole draft thing to her. I’ve explained how the flue damper controls “in” air by damping the “out” air. I’ve explained why a fire needs the “in” air. I’ve explained why changes in ambient and atmospheric conditions will require adjustments to the damper. I’ve explained that if the house turns on the cool side, open the damper a bit. I’ve explained that if the house turns on the warm side, close the damper a bit.

Every night I come home to a house either a bit too cool or way to warm. On the cool house days she’ll tell me the stove only need to be fed once all day, but complains that, “this wood burning thing ain’t working out, the house ain’t warm enough.” On the warm house days she’ll complain that, “this wood burning thing ain’t working out, I’ve had to fill that stove a hundred times today... and it’s hot as a pistol in here.” (Really? No kidding? It’s hot ya’ say?)

When I ask her why she kept feeding the fire if it was so hot in here she answers with, “If I don’t keep doing it the fire goes out and it gets cold in here... idiot!” Or if I ask her if she tried adjusting the damper she gives me a glare and answers with, “That thing? I don’t get that thing... I just always put it back where it was... besides, you always change it when you get home anyway.”
:bang:
Why don't I save myself the frustration and just keep my mouth shut?

I think your wife has a twin in maryland

 

[xrayman]

When the wife and I were letting our labs breed, I came home from work to find the wife and the dogs outside. The were coupled up and attached and walking around. Just then my teenage stepson comes up and says they were like that this morning. He had let them out to go to the bathroom, and when they came back in the house they were tied together. My stepson thought they had frozen together since it was a frosty morning, and proceeded to uncouple them with a hair dryer. We still don't let him live that one down.

That's funny my boy would do the same lol:monkey:

 

[goof008]

I know my house will never burn down as long as my wife is in it...she can't keep a fire going to save her life!!

I've heard the stories, true or not, about the woman adding water to the oil...thinking the oil can symbol was a watering can....and the one were the woman couldn't find were to add the oil...there was no OIL cap, just a cap that had 710 on it!

Good people with good intentions are easy to forgive!

 

[artbaldoni]

"The car kept getting louder and louder and going slower and slower", she said.
"Were there any warning lights on?", I asked.
"Just the one with the little sailboat on it and I didn't know why they would put a sailboat light on a car..."

Everybody go look at your temperature light. Does it look like a sailboat to you?:bang:

 

[war-wagon]

The best one ever was when one of her friends was visiting she was explaining how disturbed she was because her older brother had accidently mowed a nest of bunnies earlier in the day...she was so p#@@ed because he did NOT engage the bunny guard??? She explained that every time she mowed she made certian that "bunny gaurd" was on...After what seemed like eternity she explained that there is a lever on their mower that had turtle guard and bunny guard and that because they were far from water they never had to worry about turtles...She was serious and did not understand the laughter...next time you hop on the mower make sure engage bunny guard...I still laugh to this day...

:chainsawguy::chainsawguy:
oh man can't wait till mine get older

 

[LumberjkChamp]

"The car kept getting louder and louder and going slower and slower", she said.
"Were there any warning lights on?", I asked.
"Just the one with the little sailboat on it and I didn't know why they would put a sailboat light on a car..."

Everybody go look at your temperature light. Does it look like a sailboat to you?:bang:

That is a sad story. I am sorry, but I have to ask, did she blow it up?

P.S At the moment, I can't even picture in my minds' eye what the temp. light looks like. I just keep thinking of a sail boat.

 

[artbaldoni]

Still running @214,000 miles. It's a Subaru so it will never quit. Had one with 460,000 on it before a terminal failure...