You know you heat with wood when.....

[Bob95065]

Last wekeend I was at a frined's house and when he was looking at a tree in his yard he said, "I wonder what kind of tree that is?"
My reply: "The kind that burns."

I think I fit in with you guys.

 

[Wife'nHubby]

... you learn the "alternate" meanings for the following:

"Got Lucky" = (Got some great future firewood.)

"Scored last night = (Same as above.)

"Nice looking stacks" = (Not speaking about a body part, rather c/s/s firewood stacked up nicely.)

"Soggy piles" = (Again, not a body part. Meaning "My c/s/s firewood is wet!")

"Scored some Cherry last night" = (Get you mind out of the gutter, guys! Means they picked up some Cherry wood.)

Shari

 

[avalancher]

You know you heat with wood when.....

When your wife can find you anywhere in walmart simply by following the trail of wood chips.

When the shoe salesman refuses to allow you to try on a new pair of boots without putting on a pair of disposable socks because as he puts it, "if you dont buy them, the next guy may not like all those wood chips in his new boots."

When you walk into your local saw shop and ask for a plug, the man replies, "is it for your 372 or 357?"

Every pair of work pants you own has the left thigh wore out long before the rest of the pants from holding rounds on the splitter.

You can never get that dang tailgate up on the first swing without raking all the wood chips out first. Nine times out of ten this will always happen in a down pour after you forgot to unlock the wifes door first, usually resulting in an extended stay on the couch.With the dog.And no pillow.And with the only blanket not locked behind the bedroom door, your daughters Spongebob blankie.Dont ask me how I know.


You startle everyone at the breakfast table with a war whoop after reading in your local paper that Tractor Supply is building a new store in your town and spend the next ten minutes scraping mini wheats off the floor, the table legs, and your daughters back.Again, dont ask me how I know.

You pick your teeth after dinner with the sharp end of a chainsaw file, neatly carried around in your back pocket. Dont do this at the inlaws table. The results were disastrous.

 

[avalancher]

... you learn the "alternate" meanings for the following:

"Got Lucky" = (Got some great future firewood.)

"Scored last night = (Same as above.)

"Nice looking stacks" = (Not speaking about a body part, rather c/s/s firewood stacked up nicely.)

"Soggy piles" = (Again, not a body part. Meaning "My c/s/s firewood is wet!")

"Scored some Cherry last night" = (Get you mind out of the gutter, guys! Means they picked up some Cherry wood.)

Shari

Shari, you never cease to amaze me. That is quite a post coming from a female, and I highly appreciate your sense of humor. Sure are a lot of gals that just would not think any of that is funny!

Everyone, hand out some rep to the gal!

 

[Wife'nHubby]

Shari, you never cease to amaze me. That is quite a post coming from a female, and I highly appreciate your sense of humor. Sure are a lot of gals that just would not think any of that is funny!

Everyone, hand out some rep to the gal!

Hey, Av, don't make me blush now. :redface: I've just had to learn the language of woodburning - I find humor in some of the 'alternate' meanings!

Shari

 

[zogger]

browser

-More fenceposts are holding up stacks of firewood than actual fence on your property
-Not only do you know what thermal mass is, but you have room for 8 cords of it in the basement, and consider it a "finished" basement when it's full!
-You have a waiting list of friends that need trees taken out
-You're the most popular guy for miles around when the power is off in January. (Make sure to tell em BYOB and food!)
-5 of the pages on AS are on your browser's "most visited" list, and you home page comes in at #4.
-A craiglist search for "chainsaw" also makes that list.

Be back later when I have some rep to hand out, there's a lot of good ones on this thread!

Two of my home page starting tabs are craigslist chainsaws and this site.
And boy I certainly scope out trees all the time out and about driving around. I freak out at all the uncut wood out there hanging around folks yards, downed branches, dead trees, etc.

 

[avalancher]

Oh, I forgot one other.....this came up just last week in fact.


While at the dinner table, my daughter was explaining all the virtues of her new boyfriend, even ones I dont care a flip about. Yeah, you know, "oh, and he has really nice wavy brown hair, and blue eyes, and even has muscles on his eye lashes".
After rambling on and on and I began to run green bean races around my plate out of boredom,(I aint rude, but once she gets that dizzy look on her face I could recite the Gettyburg address in my fruit of the looms while dancing the Cha Cha with a shaved cat on the table and she wouldn't notice) and just as we narrowly missed a fatal crash as #2 left the pit area and traded paint with #6, she finished off with, "oh, and daddy, he likes to cut wood too!"

My wife turned to me after noticing my head come up and the number three green bean died in the back stretch of lap six and said, "Well, guess he is alright in your book then eh?"

Yeah, maybe. Depends if he has enough sense to run a Husky I guess.

 

[pickupporter]

While at the dinner table, my daughter was explaining all the virtues of her new boyfriend, even ones I dont care a flip about. Yeah, you know, "oh, and he has really nice wavy brown hair, and blue eyes, and even has muscles on his eye lashes".
After rambling on and on and I began to run green bean races around my plate out of boredom,(I aint rude, but once she gets that dizzy look on her face I could recite the Gettyburg address in my fruit of the looms while dancing the Cha Cha with a shaved cat on the table and she wouldn't notice) and just as we narrowly missed a fatal crash as #2 left the pit area and traded paint with #6, she finished off with, "oh, and daddy, he likes to cut wood too!"

My wife turned to me after noticing my head come up and the number three green bean died in the back stretch of lap six and said, "Well, guess he is alright in your book then eh?"

Yeah, maybe. Depends if he has enough sense to run a Husky I guess.

... I'm on the floor lmao here at work! Best one yet!

 

[ponyexpress976]

You know you heat with wood when....your late to the siter in laws house and the wife volunteers to drive....the reason she says is "we're already late and we are NOT stopping to ask about all the downed trees from the Halloween snow storm".

 

[ponyexpress976]

Once you read a thread you look at everyone's signature for equipment additions to the Christmas wish list.

 

[chopperfreak2k1]

you know you heat with wood when,

you wake up in the morning and it's raining entirely too hard to go to work, so you load up the saws and such and go cutting all day cuz "hey i can just change clothes everytime i bring a load home!"

 

[olyman]

You know you heat with wood when....your late to the siter in laws house and the wife volunteers to drive....the reason she says is "we're already late and we are NOT stopping to ask about all the downed trees from the Halloween snow storm".

Kinda hardcore,aint she?????????? :hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange:

 

[ponyexpress976]

Kinda hardcore,aint she?????????? :hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange:

She let me stop on the way home.....

 

[TermiteBuffet]

You know you heat with wood when
There's 3 inches of wood bark in your truck
There's chips in or on everything you own
There's bar oil tracks on the outside of your tailgate
You smell like smoke all the time

 

[Eilrahc83]

When the roar of the saw and the concentration needed to keep from getting hurt makes all your problems go away.

Couldn't have said it any better!

 

[calcommon]

the first thing you say when you walk in the door, "you let the stove go out!!"

 

[Mo. Jim]

Thanks for the humor guys I needed a good laugh this evening. I have been 400 mile from home and catch myself checking out the wood,then reality sets in. Bummer.

 

[OH_Varmntr]

You know you heat with wood when people come over and say it smells like smoke in your house and you don't smell a thing. :msp_wink:

...when you get excited about the town wide garage sales and you drag your wife to every one in search of chainsaws/parts and SHE is the one who is complaining and wants to go home.

 

[dave_dj1]

You Know you heat with wood when"

when you know exactly which "windowstats" to open and how much to moderate indoor temps
when you don't mind getting up early to stoke the stove while having a coffee
coming in from the cold and "thawing" your hands over the wood stove
drying your boots over the stove

 

[chopperfreak2k1]

when you get mad at the ol' lady cuz she beat you to stoking the fire