Funny saw stories! Lets hear EM!!

[Wood Doctor]

Arachnophobia

Occasionally I work with a guy (Mel) who moves as slow as molasses in January. Last week I was cutting an ash stump right to the ground and I had to dig around the base a little for saw clearance. That stirred up a few litttle critters.

About half-way through the stump cut, a wolf spider emerged with a wing span over 3" across, and he didn't seem very excited about what I was doing. I stopped cutting, called Mel over, and said, "Hey, I have a new partner to help me with this cut!"

Mel came over and took one look at our new friend and ran back to his truck faster than I had ever seen him move in six years. :greenchainsaw:

 

[parrisw]

Occasionally I work with a guy (Mel) who moves as slow as molasses in January. Last week I was cutting an ash stump right to the ground and I had to dig around the base a little for saw clearance. That stirred up a few litttle critters.

About half-way through the stump cut, a wolf spider emerged with a wing span over 3" across, and he didn't seem very excited about what I was doing. I stopped cutting, called Mel over, and said, "Hey, I have a new partner to help me with this cut!"

Mel came over and took one look at our new friend and ran back to his truck faster than I had ever seen him move in six years. :greenchainsaw:

ha ha ha ha ha. Thats funny seeing a guy scared out of his shorts!!!

 

[Wood Doctor]

ha ha ha ha ha. Thats funny seeing a guy scared out of his shorts!!!

It was hilarious, now that I think back. I have seen only one wolf spider that was bigger than this one. That was down near a creek bed back in '98. It was at least 4" across and could run about as fast as I can walk. Some say they can live 10 years or more.

Wolf spiders thrive near water and this ash tree was close to a drainage ditch area. I've heard they are rather beneficial, so I never have killed one of them.

 

[blackoak]

It was hilarious, now that I think back. I have seen only one wolf spider that was bigger than this one. That was down near a creek bed back in '98. It was at least 4" across and could run about as fast as I can walk. Some say they can live 10 years or more.

Wolf spiders thrive near water and this ash tree was close to a drainage ditch area. I've heard they are rather beneficial, so I never have killed one of them.

Not all, but most spiders are beneficial. I try to not kill them, but sometimes I just can't help myself.

 

[mattinky]

We have lots of those big Wolf spiders here in KY this time of year, they are evil looking but harmless

 

[Nailgunner]

I think i mentioned the guy i worked with who wore his type A chaps backwards because it made the zips easier to reach... I'm very glad he never had to rely on them to save his legs from the howling, wrathful, terrifyingly powerful stihl ms170

 

[mattinky]

I think i mentioned the guy i worked with who wore his type A chaps backwards because it made the zips easier to reach... I'm very glad he never had to rely on them to save his legs from the howling, wrathful, terrifyingly powerful stihl ms170

Now that's funny! LMAO!

 

[woodyman]

After 30 some years of wood cutting I have alot of stories so I will start with this one.I think it was that summer of 1990 or 1991 a big storm came through a small town not too far from me where two of my buddys live.This storm had 70 to 80 MPH straight line winds that did damage to alot of houses and trees,one of my buds had a big red oak(30 inch dia.)come down in his yard (missed his house) and I said I would help cut it up with my 266SE with the new 24" bar and chain.Well the first cut I made I got about 6 inches in and then I hit it,it was a nail that was put in that tree along time ago and I found it.Had to put the 16" on and finish the job.And everyone in the neighborhood must have heard I sharpen chains because I had 6 or 7 that needed them done because they did not know how to cut,seems they would just keep going right into the ground after cutting through the wood so I tried to enlighten them because I did not want them coming dack two minutes later.My other bud had a tree come down on his house but had to wait for insurance people before he could cut it up.

 

[Wood Doctor]

"...would just keep going right into the ground after cutting through the wood..."
------------------
I have always found it amazing that many people either think (1) steel is stronger than rocks and dirt or (2) rocks and dirt are softer than wood.

I just advised a newby cutter this summer to never hit the ground with his brand new MS 210 Stihl. He said, "So that's why it keeps getting dull so fast!"

 

[parrisw]

"...would just keep going right into the ground after cutting through the wood..."
------------------
I have always found it amazing that many people either think (1) steel is stronger than rocks and dirt or (2) rocks and dirt are softer than wood.

I just advised a newby cutter this summer to never hit the ground with his brand new MS 210 Stihl. He said, "So that's why it keeps getting dull so fast!"

ha ha, geeze never cease's to amaze me the stupidy of some people. Make something idoit proof, they'll make a better idoit!!!!!!!

 

[BaldSawRunner]

Once, back in the late 70's, early 80's, my dad bought a new partner chainsaw. Took it out to the woods, ran good for about a week. Dad was bucking up a tree, he cut a limb and threw it out of the way. He revved the saw to make his next cut, chain was locked up.
He run the saw back and forth across the log to break the wood caught between the chain and bar, still nothing.

So we stop cutting wood, take it to the shop he bought it at(20 mile round trip). Tells the owner the saw revs but the chain won't spin. ( I think most of you guys know where this is going! ) Shop owner grabs the saw, snaps the handguard back, and viola! Chain is spinning again! In my dad's defense, this was the first saw he ever owned that had one of those new fangled kickback safety brakes. Dad said, "well, bull####! That is all it was???

 

[woodyman]

Last fall I heard my brother-in-law cutting so I headed over and when I got 50 foot away he was just cutting through a branch about 5 1/2 foot up(5 to 7 inches in dia.)he started at the top and when he came through the bottom the large branch came down with his saw and pushed his bar into the ground and all I heard was:censored: .When he went to the Stihl dealer to get a new one he brought the damaged one with and the dealer told him he had never seen a bar that bent up.

 

[ozark_bushman]

When I was about 12-14 years old, one morning my dad wanted to know if my brother and I wanted to go cut wood that morning. My brother said, No, today is Friday the 13th, something bad might happen. Dad said, Yeah, maybe we should do something else today. I said, It's all in your heads, let's go!

So, we get into the woods, we have some wood that was already cut, so my brother started splitting it up and stacking. Dad was falling a tree, and as it came down, the top part of the tree grazed my brother's head. Then, my brother was piling brush on a burning brush pile, and a limb came under his glasses and sent them flying toward the fire. After a few frantic minutes of searching, we found them unscathed at the edge of the brush pile.

A few minutes later, my dad was limbing the tree, the saw kicked back and grazed his leg. He said, Boys, load everything back in the truck, we're going home! As we're getting in the truck I'm laughing because nothing had happened to me.

After that, I never could get either of them in the woods on a Friday the 13th.

 

[Meadow Beaver]

My grandfather bought an old Homelite back in the 70's for $75 at the hardware store. He used it for limbing on the weekends. The store owner never told him it didn't have an air filter. So after about two months of cutting wood it won't start, Jimmy toke off the filter cover and found out there was no air filter and the piston was shot.

Lesson 1-Don't buy a chainsaw from a home improvment store.
Lesson 2-Check and see if there is an air filter. simple as that

 

[bluto]

I had a special chain that I "modified" for a certain know it all that used to work for me. I took a link apart and put a loop in the chain so after I put it back together, there is no way to get the "knot" out of the chain. I gave him a coffee can with this chain, and about 10 others in it, and asked him to get them ready to be sharpened. I watched him for about 20 min. roll that chain around and around till he finally figured out he had been had. Man, I crack myself up sometimes.

 

[danrclem]

I know some guys that were going to cut a big tree down and they wanted it to fall a certain way. They hooked a chain to it and the other end of the chain to a tractor. They cut the tree and the guy on the tractor started moving forward while the tree was falling. The top of the tree brushed his back side.

 

[MR4WD]

My neighbor cut his leg off with a poulan.

Brand new, first tank of gas, never ran a saw, on top of a 6' step ladder, one-handing, wide open;

Saw kicked, threw him back off the ladder and he landed on the ground with a saw under his thigh. Lost it from just below the hip. He pulled his shirt off and stopped the blood flow, dragged himself into the house, called for help and called poulan 6 months later. He mentioned that if he had read the "instructions" that he might still have his leg. He blamed everything on himself and became a motivational speaker.

He was a mechanical and electrical engineer, but agreed that most engineers just THINK they know everything.

 

[teacherman]

My neighbor cut his leg off with a poulan.

Brand new, first tank of gas, never ran a saw, on top of a 6' step ladder, one-handing, wide open;

Saw kicked, threw him back off the ladder and he landed on the ground with a saw under his thigh. Lost it from just below the hip. He pulled his shirt off and stopped the blood flow, dragged himself into the house, called for help and called poulan 6 months later. He mentioned that if he had read the "instructions" that he might still have his leg. He blamed everything on himself and became a motivational speaker.

He was a mechanical and electrical engineer, but agreed that most engineers just THINK they know everything.

:jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop:
That is really sad to hear about your neighbor's leg.


My neighbor a while back was building a fence, and fighting roots in the post holes, of course. I came home from work one afternoon to a familiar sound, rather similar to my yellow JD Echo chainsaw. I knew immediately what he was doing before I rounded the corner and saw the thing buried to the hilt in the dirt. I just walked up to him, took my saw and went in my house, not saying a word. He is still my friend, but he has since bought his own "post hole digger," a Stihl MS 390. It was an easy solution to a difficult problem, but you don't borrow a saw without permission to do something like that, even if it is a yellow POS John Deere. Now a Husky, well, that may be another story................:greenchainsaw:

Can you dig it?

 

[Justsaws]

Earlier tonight I tore down a Mac 1-42 that had just been set up by a "shop" with a new .404x7 rim and .325 narrow kerf chain. They also rebuilt the carb. without taking it of and put a tiny itty bitty pos fuel filter on it for the previous owner which was stuck up in the original Mac felt filter holder. He carbon scored the piston and stuck the rings which is probably why it went to the "shop" to begin with. He was happy to sell it and get his new craftsman going. I was happy when he left and I no longer had to hear all his saw knowledge and how Poulan's are horrible but Craftsman's are great. His wedge both sides of the tree, one higher than the other theories were also interesting. It is a good thing he was a "professional climber" or I might think he was an idiot.

 

[kevin j]

You mean you don't put antifreeze in a chainsaw? Man, the things you can learn here on AS




Only the heated Artic Edition saws for cold weather......


Thought the stories seemed to dumb to be true, but I did have a neighbor seize up a saw and wonder why the 'Autolube tank' apparently wasn't working.

k