Funny saw stories! Lets hear EM!!

[blackoak]

Sometimes I help a arborist friend of mine in the evenings. We had large tree trunk to remove in town. We cut it up small enough to throw it on a trailer but we couldn't lift the crotch on to the trailer. I grabbed my saw thinking I'll cut it in two, my friend says "I'll do it, I got a brand new chain that will rip right threw it".
It's just about dark and he hits the crotch with the saw screaming,
all of a sudden there is a cloud of white dust and orange sparks so bad it looks like he's using a grinder. After cutting about an inch deep and stopping, I reply, "That new chain is awesome, but it sure didn't last long!" .
Turns out the crotch was poured full of concrete and his new chain looked like he tried to saw an anvil in two.

Damn, I hate that when that happens. It seems like it happens to me a lot lately.

 

[guff]

met a guy with a tophandle craftsman 358 model....said he had it for years..tried starting it and it would run when he dripped some fuel in through the plug hole....i bought it for $20.00....turns out the fuel line goes up through the handle then to the carb..it had turned almost like plastic and fallen apart.....for bout 5.00 at ace hardware, i got a decent running lil saw....circa 1984.......he thought the saw was junk and just wanted it gone...

 

[Shargoth]

I've had plenty of guys form around my area come in and ask me to sharpen a couple chains for them and they ask "Can you sharpen both sides of the chain for me boy, so I can just flip 'er around when one side wears out?" I'm always so happy to see them coming and just answer with a nod

 

[pioneerguy600]

I have quite a few funny stories but this one really takes the cake for me at least but you maybe you just had to be there. I was renovating a house and taping the gyproc on the cathederal ceiling while standing on a rolling staging so I was not able to go look out a door or window easily. I was up there for a half hour or so and there was someone running a chainsaw out in the back yard and nothing bothers me more than a poorly working saw or an operator that does not know how to use a saw. This saw was revving up and down the scale and binding up for over a half hour without let up just grinding away. It was getting on my nerves and only my buddy yelling up that it was lunch time broke up my thought pattern of going out and clobbering the operator with a 2x4 or something to stop the racket.
Once on the floor I just had to go see what was going on and here was a guy up a ladder grinding away at a tree top about 6" inches in diameter. He had a truck with a landscaping and lawn service logo and name on the doors so so he should know what he was doing but evidently he didn`t . I walk out on the deck and after a few more minutes of grinding and revving the saw he sees me and stops the saw,flips up his visor and says this is taking a long time isn`t it. My reply is as courteous as I can muster at the time and agree with him. He asks if I know anything about chainsaws and I see he is using a Stihl chainsaw of a small frame 026 or MS260 size and I answer that I know a little bit about them. He then asks if I could tell him where to check the oil, he is rolling the saw around and looking at it from all angles, I ask the oil for the bar and he says no that he filled up the bar oil tank before starting the saw, then he asks if this saw needs coolant,water or antifreeze,I throw my hands up, turn around and walk out to my truck and drive a couple miles across town to eat lunch at a take out. I just could not stay there and eat my packed lunch,to this day when I think of that situation that made my blood boil that day it makes me smile or laugh now.
Pioneerguy600

 

[teacherman]

I have quite a few funny stories but this one really takes the cake for me at least but you maybe you just had to be there. I was renovating a house and taping the gyproc on the cathederal ceiling while standing on a rolling staging so I was not able to go look out a door or window easily. I was up there for a half hour or so and there was someone running a chainsaw out in the back yard and nothing bothers me more than a poorly working saw or an operator that does not know how to use a saw. This saw was revving up and down the scale and binding up for over a half hour without let up just grinding away. It was getting on my nerves and only my buddy yelling up that it was lunch time broke up my thought pattern of going out and clobbering the operator with a 2x4 or something to stop the racket.
Once on the floor I just had to go see what was going on and here was a guy up a ladder grinding away at a tree top about 6" inches in diameter. He had a truck with a landscaping and lawn service logo and name on the doors so so he should know what he was doing but evidently he didn`t . I walk out on the deck and after a few more minutes of grinding and revving the saw he sees me and stops the saw,flips up his visor and says this is taking a long time isn`t it. My reply is as courteous as I can muster at the time and agree with him. He asks if I know anything about chainsaws and I see he is using a Stihl chainsaw of a small frame 026 or MS260 size and I answer that I know a little bit about them. He then asks if I could tell him where to check the oil, he is rolling the saw around and looking at it from all angles, I ask the oil for the bar and he says no that he filled up the bar oil tank before starting the saw, then he asks if this saw needs coolant,water or antifreeze,I throw my hands up, turn around and walk out to my truck and drive a couple miles across town to eat lunch at a take out. I just could not stay there and eat my packed lunch,to this day when I think of that situation that made my blood boil that day it makes me smile or laugh now.
Pioneerguy600

You mean you don't put antifreeze in a chainsaw? :monkey: Man, the things you can learn here on AS! :hmm3grin2orange: :hmm3grin2orange: :hmm3grin2orange: :hmm3grin2orange:

 

[pioneerguy600]

You mean you don't put antifreeze in a chainsaw? :monkey: Man, the things you can learn here on AS! :hmm3grin2orange: :hmm3grin2orange: :hmm3grin2orange: :hmm3grin2orange:

No antifreeze,no oil in the base, where is the dipstick to check the oil anyway. AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH.
Pioneerguy600

 

[parrisw]

I have quite a few funny stories but this one really takes the cake for me at least but you maybe you just had to be there. I was renovating a house and taping the gyproc on the cathederal ceiling while standing on a rolling staging so I was not able to go look out a door or window easily. I was up there for a half hour or so and there was someone running a chainsaw out in the back yard and nothing bothers me more than a poorly working saw or an operator that does not know how to use a saw. This saw was revving up and down the scale and binding up for over a half hour without let up just grinding away. It was getting on my nerves and only my buddy yelling up that it was lunch time broke up my thought pattern of going out and clobbering the operator with a 2x4 or something to stop the racket.
Once on the floor I just had to go see what was going on and here was a guy up a ladder grinding away at a tree top about 6" inches in diameter. He had a truck with a landscaping and lawn service logo and name on the doors so so he should know what he was doing but evidently he didn`t . I walk out on the deck and after a few more minutes of grinding and revving the saw he sees me and stops the saw,flips up his visor and says this is taking a long time isn`t it. My reply is as courteous as I can muster at the time and agree with him. He asks if I know anything about chainsaws and I see he is using a Stihl chainsaw of a small frame 026 or MS260 size and I answer that I know a little bit about them. He then asks if I could tell him where to check the oil, he is rolling the saw around and looking at it from all angles, I ask the oil for the bar and he says no that he filled up the bar oil tank before starting the saw, then he asks if this saw needs coolant,water or antifreeze,I throw my hands up, turn around and walk out to my truck and drive a couple miles across town to eat lunch at a take out. I just could not stay there and eat my packed lunch,to this day when I think of that situation that made my blood boil that day it makes me smile or laugh now.
Pioneerguy600

GEEZE what a TARD. Almost scarry.

 

[Nailgunner]

I wonder if he knows about the chain brake, the depth gauges, the kickback... that's not funny, it's terrifying.

 

[7sleeper]

I wonder if he also had the reverse lever in front on his saw incase it gets stuck?

I always fill antifreeze into the black antifreeze holder in the front. Just like on a car right? :jawdrop:



7sleeper

 

[pioneerguy600]

I wonder if he also had the reverse lever in front on his saw incase it gets stuck?

I always fill antifreeze into the black antifreeze holder in the front. Just like on a car right? :jawdrop:



7sleeper

For sure!

 

[mattinky]

That is a funny story Pioneerguy! It reminds me of the idiots that say their dirt bike has "powerbands" in it.

I bought a little Homie XL off of a guy for parts about a year ago and he told me it ran o.k. but the oiler did'nt work so I'd have to pour oil directly on the chain while I was runnning it...

 

[056kid]

i watched the "newest hired help" repeatedly file his chain and try and cut with no luck. What he never caught on to was that the chain was on backwards!!

 

[pioneerguy600]

That is a funny story Pioneerguy! It reminds me of the idiots that say their dirt bike has "powerbands" in it.

I bought a little Homie XL off of a guy for parts about a year ago and he told me it ran o.k. but the oiler did'nt work so I'd have to pour oil directly on the chain while I was runnning it...

You could do as one customer asked me if I could mount a can or other cannister over his chain with a piece of copper tube attached so that oil could be put in the cannister and it would drip out on the chain as it ran around the sprockets. I said yes I could do that but the oil would continue to run even if the bike was stopped. Well he said I can`t have an oil puddle on my driveway or in the garage so that`s out, guess I`ll have to replace the chain once a month instead. Some individuals should never run motorized machines. LOL
Pioneerguy600
Oh did you hear about the fellow that brings a one day old saw back to the shop where he bought it and says to the seller, this thing only ran less than one tank of gas through it and now it won`t pull over,its stuck. The seller says what oil ratio are you running and the guy says "oil!,it only says gas on the filler cap.

 

[mile9socounty]

This mid-Spring. We were thinning a few miles up the road from my house. Well we had one guy working with us that no one liked. He was lazy, slow, no ambition, nothing of that sort. Just drug his feet and collected a pay check. Anyways, comes around lunch, its pouring on us and he's tucked up under a decent Doug Fir. Passes out, stone asleep. One of the other guys, gets a great idea. Goes and gets his climbing rigging. Don's it and shimmey's up another Fir about 20ft away. About 70ft up, he starts the saw, and bores dead through the center of the tree. Buries the dawgs and leaves it. Needless to say. Chad wasn't too happy when he work up. Quit too.

 

[AOD]

This mid-Spring. We were thinning a few miles up the road from my house. Well we had one guy working with us that no one liked. He was lazy, slow, no ambition, nothing of that sort. Just drug his feet and collected a pay check. Anyways, comes around lunch, its pouring on us and he's tucked up under a decent Doug Fir. Passes out, stone asleep. One of the other guys, gets a great idea. Goes and gets his climbing rigging. Don's it and shimmey's up another Fir about 20ft away. About 70ft up, he starts the saw, and bores dead through the center of the tree. Buries the dawgs and leaves it. Needless to say. Chad wasn't too happy when he work up. Quit too.

Nice work.

 

[mattinky]

You could do as one customer asked me if I could mount a can or other cannister over his chain with a piece of copper tube attached so that oil could be put in the cannister and it would drip out on the chain as it ran around the sprockets. I said yes I could do that but the oil would continue to run even if the bike was stopped. Well he said I can`t have an oil puddle on my driveway or in the garage so that`s out, guess I`ll have to replace the chain once a month instead. Some individuals should never run motorized machines. LOL
Pioneerguy600
Oh did you hear about the fellow that brings a one day old saw back to the shop where he bought it and says to the seller, this thing only ran less than one tank of gas through it and now it won`t pull over,its stuck. The seller says what oil ratio are you running and the guy says "oil!,it only says gas on the filler cap.

Back in the mid 80s I was working at a motorcycle shop and a guy rode in very slowly on his bike. He said his brakes were'nt working right and asked me if I'd take a look at it. Everything looked good so I took it up the road and they would barely slow the bike down, I don't remember exactly what model it was but it has
d disc brakes on both ends. I came back to the shop and asked the guy if he had done any work on the brakes. He said no, but they had gotten squeaky so his brother had sprayed penetrating oil on them... true story.

 

[parrisw]

Back in the mid 80s I was working at a motorcycle shop and a guy rode in very slowly on his bike. He said his brakes were'nt working right and asked me if I'd take a look at it. Everything looked good so I took it up the road and they would barely slow the bike down, I don't remember exactly what model it was but it has
d disc brakes on both ends. I came back to the shop and asked the guy if he had done any work on the brakes. He said no, but they had gotten squeaky so his brother had sprayed penetrating oil on them... true story.

ha ha ha, yup heard of that.

GM in their infinate wisdom in the 80's made allot of cars with real grabby rear brakes, so they put out a TSB on how to fix it, it was to just coat the brakes with graphite spray!!

 

[pioneerguy600]

Well we are getting off subject here a little but the brake thing does bring back a really funny incident where a coworker wanted to sell a nice little Fiat sports car. He is a real penny miser and had run this little car for years without any maintainance and the brakes were worn down to the metal backings and squealed like old heck when applied. Every one that test drove the car remarked about this and the guy would not spend a cent on repairs so his brother suggested applying grease to the rotors and drums to stop the noise,they did and let the next fellow to come look the car over take it out for a little test drive, the fellow turned down a steep hill close by and couldn`t bring the car to a stop at the next T intersection and ran smack dab into a veranda then the house putting the car all the way through the wall up to the windshield. My coworker had to go good for the damages, cost him a lot more than a brake job. This is more than a true story as I did most of the repair work to the house and veranda.

 

[parrisw]

Well we are getting off subject here a little but the brake thing does bring back a really funny incident where a coworker wanted to sell a nice little Fiat sports car. He is a real penny miser and had run this little car for years without any maintainance and the brakes were worn down to the metal backings and squealed like old heck when applied. Every one that test drove the car remarked about this and the guy would not spend a cent on repairs so his brother suggested applying grease to the rotors and drums to stop the noise,they did and let the next fellow to come look the car over take it out for a little test drive, the fellow turned down a steep hill close by and couldn`t bring the car to a stop at the next T intersection and ran smack dab into a veranda then the house putting the car all the way through the wall up to the windshield. My coworker had to go good for the damages, cost him a lot more than a brake job. This is more than a true story as I did most of the repair work to the house and veranda.

Ouch thats's gota suck. I've seen some many scarry things in my days of being a auto mechanic. I wish we had the power to condem a car if its unsafe, but we don't, we can only advise the customer. Most of the time its like you say, cheap people that don't want to spend a dime on their car.

 

[pioneerguy600]

Yes mechanics do have that power here in Nova Scotia we have a once yearly motor vehicle inspection and a vehicle failing that inspection can be impounded on the spot. The cheap bast@&ds get away with buying a stolen inspection sticker and run their vehicles until they drop and and usually get away with it for long periods without being caught.
Pioneerguy600