Firewood for sale ads crack me up

[cre10]

In the paper it cracks me up how they try to make theirs look better than others. These were all in the paper.

1 full truck bed full of split wood.

1 full 3/4ton truck load of split wood.

1 full 1 ton truck load of split wood.

1 Chevy truck load of wood.

 

[cantoo]

I'd buy the Chevy load, it's going to be the biggest load for sure. The others are obviously inferior. Now if he shows up and has a Stihl sticker in the back window, introduce him to your daughter.

 

[ratso]

The ad said (huge truckload of wood)

So i called the guy said the truck was a f150.

 

[laynes69]

Around here you can buy a "chord" of slapwood, or well seasoned oak that was cut 2 months ago. It cracks me up, and unfortunately people still purchase not knowing any better. It's amazing what they can get away with, and their definition of a "chord" can be pretty creative. We do have a few people that sell actual cords and do things right. I buy wood from my BIL, so I know when it's cut and how long it's seasoned. Everything else I cut off our property so I don't have to deal with these people.

 

[Uncle John]

Seldom listed as a cord around here.
They sell ricks..........................:msp_confused:

 

[Uncle John]

firewood 7foot ric - $65 (noblesville)

Date: 2012-12-21, 12:02PM EST
[email protected][?]
firewood 7 ft long 4 feet high rics 65 per ric you pic up total 30 rics call 317 289 8848

Location: noblesville
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID:3488738151

 

[stihl023/5]

Here it is face cord 8' x 4' x 16":bang:

 

[Oldtimer]

I'd buy the Chevy load, it's going to be the biggest load for sure. The others are obviously inferior. Now if he shows up and has a Stihl sticker in the back window, introduce him to your daughter.

 

[Mac88]

I personally don't care what they call it or how they advertise it. I don't buy firewood. Everything that goes through our stove is free, except for the effort and fuel to process it, and perhaps fuel for the truck to haul it home. I must admit I get a kick out of some of the ads though.

 

[REJ2]

I personally don't care what they call it or how they advertise it. I don't buy firewood. Everything that goes through our stove is free, except for the effort and fuel to process it, and perhaps fuel for the truck to haul it home. I must admit I get a kick out of some of the ads though.

I hear ya Mac, the only thing i'll pay for anymore is sex, danged old lady got more money than i do.

 

[Mac88]

I hear ya Mac, the only thing i'll pay for anymore is sex, danged old lady got more money than i do.

Never paid for any of that either. I just lick my eyebrows. That usually does it :hmm3grin2orange:.

 

[autoimage]

i had to buy wood the first year i lived in this house 4 cords 4 different people not once did i get quality quantity and proper seasoning

 

[haveawoody]

Last week i was cuttin up about a 1ft wide ash log at the front of my place where it was dropped off to me with a great pile of other big ash logs, someone drove up and was looking for a rustic seat log and asked if they could buy one.
So i said sure $5 and they were quite happy.

Guess that makes my face cords about 25k each. LOL
Just imagine what cured and split stuff goes for

When i told my wife about the 5$ log sale she burst into laughter and siad you were right the world has all sorts.

 

[cantoo]

A local ad.
Yes Christmas will soon be here and so will that traditional Christmas fire. And now is the perfect time to stock up on firewood for the winter. But don't be fooled by cheap firewood ads. You get what you pay for. Even the big suppliers don't always provide the best wood. Our wood is dry, seasoned and hardwood. It is selected and prepared for us by Ontario Mennonite farmers to our specifications. Top health spas in Toronto use our wood for heating there saunas and provide a nice aroma. And great eating establishments use our wood for cooking. Get the best firewood in Ontario. Get delivery before Christmas. Only $350.00 per bush cord, tax included, free delivery to some areas. HOLIDAY SPECIAL!! BUY FOUR BUSH CORDS AT ONCE AND SAVE A FANTASTIC $200.00. THAT'S RIGHT BUY FOUR BUSH CORDS AT ONCE AND SAVE AN INCREDIBLE $200.00($300.00 per bush cord), tax included, free delivery. A great way to stock up for the winter and save big money. Holiday special only, so contact us today. ATTENTION: IN ORDER TO KEEP OUR PRICES LOW, MINIMUM ORDER FOR FIREWOOD IS TWO BUSH CORDS($350.00 each). And if you need repairs or renovations to your home, business, farm, or cottage contact us. Our trained and experienced staff can provide any type of repairs or renovations you need, outside or inside, large or small. And always at the best rates around. WHY PAY MORE?? Contact us for a free estimate. Dutch workmanship here in The County. Call or email us 7 days a week. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

 

[haveawoody]

cantoo,

I wonder if they pump septic tanks out while visiting?
Seems like with the wood delivery and house reno it could be a good side addon
My thought is you have an empty truck after the wood delivery

 

[KiwiBro]

cantoo,

I wonder if they pump septic tanks out while visiting?
Seems like with the wood delivery and house reno it could be a good side addon
My thought is you have an empty truck after the wood delivery

Now that's what I call a backload.

 

[zogger]

A local ad.
Yes Christmas will soon be here and so will that traditional Christmas fire. And now is the perfect time to stock up on firewood for the winter. But don't be fooled by cheap firewood ads. You get what you pay for. Even the big suppliers don't always provide the best wood. Our wood is dry, seasoned and hardwood. It is selected and prepared for us by Ontario Mennonite farmers to our specifications. Top health spas in Toronto use our wood for heating there saunas and provide a nice aroma. And great eating establishments use our wood for cooking. Get the best firewood in Ontario. Get delivery before Christmas. Only $350.00 per bush cord, tax included, free delivery to some areas. HOLIDAY SPECIAL!! BUY FOUR BUSH CORDS AT ONCE AND SAVE A FANTASTIC $200.00. THAT'S RIGHT BUY FOUR BUSH CORDS AT ONCE AND SAVE AN INCREDIBLE $200.00($300.00 per bush cord), tax included, free delivery. A great way to stock up for the winter and save big money. Holiday special only, so contact us today. ATTENTION: IN ORDER TO KEEP OUR PRICES LOW, MINIMUM ORDER FOR FIREWOOD IS TWO BUSH CORDS($350.00 each). And if you need repairs or renovations to your home, business, farm, or cottage contact us. Our trained and experienced staff can provide any type of repairs or renovations you need, outside or inside, large or small. And always at the best rates around. WHY PAY MORE?? Contact us for a free estimate. Dutch workmanship here in The County. Call or email us 7 days a week. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Man, if I was buying cords, Id want it from trees, not bushes. I mean, ya, I cut a lot of small, but thats pushing the envelope just a wee bit there....

 

[Fred Wright]

i had to buy wood the first year i lived in this house 4 cords 4 different people not once did i get quality quantity and proper seasoning

Yup, we don't trust the newspaper/CL ad sellers. When we started heating with wood we paid for 3 cord from 2 sellers. Got just over 2 cord of half-seasoned crap. Some splits were too long or too large to fit in the stove. Some was so green it wouldn't burn at all.

We cut our own now so it's no big deal. Just sayin'... those shysters move a lot of firewood to people who don't know what they're buying until it's too late.

 

[Morgan in AR]

100% organic

I saw one the other day that said "100% organic firewood" . I guess it's not made of styrofoam?

 

[cantoo]

The ad I posted in really kind of typical for here. It's a landscaping company that also sells wood. Here in the frozen north (yes I live in an igloo) it's not possible to landscape year around so most guys do other stuff in the winter, selling wood is just a natural fit. Also house renovations are what alot of us do when it's cold out. I'm a licensed carpenter (RED Seal approved) and I own a grass cutting business, my wife does the cutting I just keep crap running, she also cleans houses because the grass slows down in the heat of summer. I end of doing lots of carpentry work for her customers, flooring, trim, framing, electrical, drywalling etc. Lots of my farming friends head to the city ( Toronto is 100 miles away) for the winter to do snow removal, 1 buddy has over 20 tractors doing shopping malls and sidewalks.
And a bush cord is what we call a cord around these parts. Of course it's still not clear what it is so you still usually give the size. A bush cord can be 3 rows 4'x8' by 16" long or 4 rows 4'x8'x 12" long. And if it's an OWB it might be 2 rows 4'x8'x 24" long. Most wood is delivered in bigger trucks and is a guess on face cords on the truck and most are pay cash before unloading. Take it or leave it. I don't think there are too many "legitimate" firewood sellers around me paying full taxes. The auditor that is auditing me is having a hayday.