firewood sales, i thought i had heard it all

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spencerhenry

ArboristSite Operative
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i am a firewood retailer, this year i am really pushing the sales and my results are great. in the 10 or so years i have been selling firewood in this area i have heard a lot of strange ideas. some of the complaints, comments, or questions are:
1. the wood is too dry.
2. the wood wont burn at all
3. that is too much wood, i dont want it all
4. i ordered a full cord, got a full cord but now after the delivery i want to negotiate price.
5. the check is bad, a month later i am the bad guy for suggesting they make good or i will turn it over to the sheriffs department.
6. the wood is full of bugs
7. the wood is dirty
8. i want the wood stacked on the deck of my 3rd floor apartment, that doesnt cost extra does it.
9. you dont charge for delivery right?
10. it is sunday, during a blizzard, what do you mean you cant deliver wood within the hour. (2 hours wasnt soon enough)
11. i want the quantity discount, but the delivery needs to be split between 3 houses 15 miles apart.
12. i have a tree in my yard, you can have it if you remove it.

and the latest that inspired me to write this thread:
after quoting a price that i told myself i wouldnt do anymore because it was too low, she calls back and says "my husband wants to know if you can drop off a couple of pieces so we can try it out first". i explain that i am far too busy right now to drive around giving out free samples, she hangs up.

my closest delivery is 11 miles, the average about 30 miles one way. very few people around here buy wood before winter, most wait until this week, the week before thanksgiving after it has been snowing for a week. i am delivering 7 days a week and today i am taking off from milling for the entire day to run deliveries. dont get me wrong, i am not complaining, it will be sunny when the sun comes up, thermometer says it is 10 degrees right now, but about a $1000 day if i can get them all delivered.
 
Im in the same boat here in SanDiego, granted it doesn't get as cold and snow we still have a pretty good firewood market. My favorite is the , " your wood doesn't burn", when they show me what they are doing holding a match or lighter to a big chunk of oak. People are pretty clueless here. WOndering why it won't burn.
 
sounds like a normal season of selling firewood to people that are incompetent of their want an needs to fill the needs of aesthetics..... offering a service to others will just about always leave you in a dismay of foolishment from buyers!! the best side of service is a healthy laugh... lol
 
spencerhenry said:
i am a firewood retailer, this year i am really pushing the sales and my results are great. in the 10 or so years i have been selling firewood in this area i have heard a lot of strange ideas. some of the complaints, comments, or questions are:
1. the wood is too dry.
2. the wood wont burn at all
3. that is too much wood, i dont want it all
4. i ordered a full cord, got a full cord but now after the delivery i want to negotiate price.
5. the check is bad, a month later i am the bad guy for suggesting they make good or i will turn it over to the sheriffs department.
6. the wood is full of bugs
7. the wood is dirty
8. i want the wood stacked on the deck of my 3rd floor apartment, that doesnt cost extra does it.
9. you dont charge for delivery right?
10. it is sunday, during a blizzard, what do you mean you cant deliver wood within the hour. (2 hours wasnt soon enough)
11. i want the quantity discount, but the delivery needs to be split between 3 houses 15 miles apart.
12. i have a tree in my yard, you can have it if you remove it.

and the latest that inspired me to write this thread:
after quoting a price that i told myself i wouldnt do anymore because it was too low, she calls back and says "my husband wants to know if you can drop off a couple of pieces so we can try it out first". i explain that i am far too busy right now to drive around giving out free samples, she hangs up.

my closest delivery is 11 miles, the average about 30 miles one way. very few people around here buy wood before winter, most wait until this week, the week before thanksgiving after it has been snowing for a week. i am delivering 7 days a week and today i am taking off from milling for the entire day to run deliveries. dont get me wrong, i am not complaining, it will be sunny when the sun comes up, thermometer says it is 10 degrees right now, but about a $1000 day if i can get them all delivered.
Click to expand...

I have heard most all of those in my years of firewooding heres a funny one a lady called and wanted to trade in the wood she got from another supplier on wood from me. I told her that I would take it away at no charge but could allow her nothing on the trade in.
 
I had a customer once that ordered 2 cords of 20", I delivered, then a month later she calls up asking if I can come pick it up and deliver 2 cords of 12" splits. She had closed up the fireplace, and bought a wood stove and needed smaller pieces. She figured it would cost nothing since she was just replacing the wood w/ a different size, kinda like exchanging shoes at the store. She figured wrong.
 
KD57 said:
I had a customer once that ordered 2 cords of 20", I delivered, then a month later she calls up asking if I can come pick it up and deliver 2 cords of 12" splits. She had closed up the fireplace, and bought a wood stove and needed smaller pieces. She figured it would cost nothing since she was just replacing the wood w/ a different size, kinda like exchanging shoes at the store. She figured wrong.
Click to expand...

Wow. Some folks have know idea.

Tried to rep ya for that one...but I'm out of ammo...

Kevin
 
fire wood etc.

Thats the beauty of 12 inch blocks and being able to split the living daylights out of them as drys quickly and selling by the ton only- no issues about shortages BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, and you have legal tender in the certified scale ticket which will hold up in small claims court.


:chainsawguy::bang:
 
Some people are just clueless. Better call my guy and get the 5 cord ordered for today, needs to be here by 3:00.
 
sorta like Forrest Gump....when dealing with the public ..out of a box of chocolates..ya just never know what your gonna get.

I have a standing order for my wood guy. He knows he can bring it over any time he wants once we get to Oct. Plus he has a bit more than I'll need in case it gets really cold for longer periods.
My wood for next year is already cut and split...I saw the pile with my name on it.
He does nice work and he is a great neighbor!
 
I had a good one two years ago...will never forget.

Customer Calling: "Yes, purchased two cords from you about two weeks ago...blah, blah, blah."
Me: "Yes ma'am, how are you doing."
(was hoping she wanted more)
CC: "This would is too wet to burn."
Me: "Miss, I am burning wood from the same lot right now, and none of it is wet."
CC: "Well this wood is too wet, I want it exchanged."
Me: "Miss, I will be over within the hour."
An hour later...
CC: "See, look how wet this wood is."
Me: "Ma-am, is this where the wood has been sitting for the past two weeks?"
CC: "Well yes, same as you left it."
Me: "Well ma'am, the wood is going to get wet if you don't cover it up and leave it sitting in a pile in the middle of your yard."
CC: "But you said it was seasoned wood that was covered?"

Guess I need to further explain my advertisement for selling wood in the middle of winter.:bang:
 
D&B Mack said:
I had a good one two years ago...will never forget.

Customer Calling: "Yes, purchased two cords from you about two weeks ago...blah, blah, blah."
Me: "Yes ma'am, how are you doing."
(was hoping she wanted more)
CC: "This would is too wet to burn."
Me: "Miss, I am burning wood from the same lot right now, and none of it is wet."
CC: "Well this wood is too wet, I want it exchanged."
Me: "Miss, I will be over within the hour."
An hour later...
CC: "See, look how wet this wood is."
Me: "Ma-am, is this where the wood has been sitting for the past two weeks?"
CC: "Well yes, same as you left it."
Me: "Well ma'am, the wood is going to get wet if you don't cover it up and leave it sitting in a pile in the middle of your yard."
CC: "But you said it was seasoned wood that was covered?"
:bang:
Click to expand...

I guess she thought it was "Covered" By Insurance (From YOU) :)
 
KD57 said:
I had a customer once that ordered 2 cords of 20", I delivered, then a month later she calls up asking if I can come pick it up and deliver 2 cords of 12" splits. She had closed up the fireplace, and bought a wood stove and needed smaller pieces. She figured it would cost nothing since she was just replacing the wood w/ a different size, kinda like exchanging shoes at the store. She figured wrong.
Click to expand...

:hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange: sheesh!!
 
D&B Mack said:
I had a good one two years ago...will never forget.

Customer Calling: "Yes, purchased two cords from you about two weeks ago...blah, blah, blah."
Me: "Yes ma'am, how are you doing."
(was hoping she wanted more)
CC: "This would is too wet to burn."
Me: "Miss, I am burning wood from the same lot right now, and none of it is wet."
CC: "Well this wood is too wet, I want it exchanged."
Me: "Miss, I will be over within the hour."
An hour later...
CC: "See, look how wet this wood is."
Me: "Ma-am, is this where the wood has been sitting for the past two weeks?"
CC: "Well yes, same as you left it."
Me: "Well ma'am, the wood is going to get wet if you don't cover it up and leave it sitting in a pile in the middle of your yard."
CC: "But you said it was seasoned wood that was covered?"

Guess I need to further explain my advertisement for selling wood in the middle of winter.:bang:
Click to expand...

Don't assume that they know, you have to treat them like a three year old.
 
Makes me very thankful that I have plenty of property to cut my own wood and not selling any of it! People can be a challenge. We are all so....... imperfect! Imagine that!

To those of you who make a living by selling wood.... I have a ton of respect for you! Don't let the turkeys get you down---they need heat too!;)
 
I have heard a few of these before . I sell a few cord a year for a little extra cash .I never had a problem until last year . an Older gentleman called wanting a cordof fire wood we agreed on the price for the wood ,ok loaded the trailer and delivered it to his house tossed in his garage out or the rain everything is great . get home two hours later I get a call from him saying the wood will not burn.I said it has been seasoning for a year and a half .after a lengthy discussion I come to find out he is used to buying kiln dried wood from the supermarket in little . He thought all fire wood for sale should be kiln dried. Clueless.
 
today was a good day, got hooked up with a property management company and ran 2 full trucks today. i am a bit tired but i will take a $1200 day anytime. they show me where they want the wood, let me do it at my schedule, sometimes it has to go up stairs or 50 yards across the golf course, but on those deliveries they send me a couple of laborers. just wish i had processed more than the 500 or so face cords that i did, i am going to run out of wood in another month or so.
i told the guy who said his wood wouldnt burn that next week when i am in the area i would split a couple pieces and check the moisture content. told him that if any of it is over 20% i would refund his money. now he thinks i am going to show him how to build a fire. i have a policy... never ever go into a customers home, and sure as hell dont build a fire for them.
 
There is one time when Its ok to go into a customers home and build a fire , they are single cougar moms who just need a helpin hand and in SanDiego there are quite a few who just need a little wood. Thats the only exception though.haha
 

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