Forrest's New Plan II

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SpikedSupra

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Ok....As I promised I have the new plans for my business. I initially wanted to start a tree service from the start. I have decided to include a lawn care service and make it my job emphasis. As I start making lawn accounts I will work my way into doing tree service work for those very lawn customers. I have figured that this will be a goood way to reach more clientel more quickly. Everyone needs lawn care unlike the number of people that need trees pruned or removed. I am going to buy a truck, mower, weed eater, edger, blower, a couple saws, tree gear, and of course my insurance and I should be set to go. So this is my new plan that I am implementing. I am sure most of you would agree that it is a better avenue to take than just jumping straight into tree work. Let me know your thoughts.
 
Just read your previous threads, no need to answer that. Sounds to me like you'd do well to learn the business before going into it.
 
So basically, Forrest. Your remaining company choices are as follows:

Street Beggar or Entertainer - low startup costs; pure profit; high opportunity cost, but we won't talk about that

Thief - no costs associated because it can be done naked; extraordinary profits; medium risk depending on location and competition

Bum - no training required; loose change and bills may cover first day, alternate plans recommended

House Sitter - on-the-job training only; potential for additional revenue if you can lift things well

Bandit - considered "cool" by young children; blazing guns a plus; fame, fortune follow quickly; hit banks - they have money

Trenchcoat Watch Salesman - difficult market to enter without experience; fun to walk around in; suggestion...don't sell to other suspicious people dressed like you

Mafia Member or Hit Man - excellent opportunity if presented to you; difficult to change careers afterwards, may not be an issue if you're dead or in jail; video game background may help, try Grand Theft Auto

Well, I could go on and on, but I think I hit some of the major ones. None of these jobs require job interviews, and some of them you could start tomorrow. I think any other ideas would be shot down by people on this board.

Nickrosis
 
I'd go for being a bandit. You can't beat blazing guns -nothing cooler than that!
What about an internet **** star-- web cams all over your house -just walk around naked, let hot chicks (only the hot ones) watch you all day long and get paid!!!! I've been trying to work out my business case on this one ---Don't steal it from me Forrest!
Greg
 
I couldn't do the **** thing. I'd be too grossed out by the thought of the fairy-boys checkin me out.

No, I'm not homophobic, just hetrocentricly chauvenistic.
 
Nickrosis

Nick,
That last response was fargin hilarious! You're right though. It seems that even if I presented a business plan involving being a street beggar members of this board would tell me I am underqualified. Maybe I should try becoming a priest.....wait....????....I dont have the qualifications for that either...dont you have to be a virgin? haha....Well only time will answer the doubts by the many arborists of this forum and if and when I come back to this site with good news about my business on the board here I am not the type to say "I told you so." Hopefully these members can embrace their wrongful persecutions with ease.

Nick, thanks for having my back on here. Its good to know that at least someone on this board has full faith in this business startup.
 
The Pink Trail of Revenge Returns to Beneath the Planet, that Forrest's Plan Strikes Back; Part 2- perhaps movies are your calling! Mmmmmm look who's talking too!!!

There is only one person here that needs confidence in your buisness sir.

What if something happened to one of your fellow employees; they're family was going to sue someone; and some of your posts where some sort of written evidence as to laws vio-lated...... Then, your youthful exhuberance; that could be concentrated to this mountain you seek to climb; could not be so fun anymore. Words spoken, might not just dissipate into the air, as in normal conversation; whenst they are written, especially on a world wide forum-such a wide audience of witnesses! Just as words of spite, might be pre-served for eons, as well as those that instruct richly.

Fellas, wouldn't it be neater if in time to come, that an engineer or artist found these scrawlings interesting and their applications of their studies immense; rather than a shrink or sociologist? Okay, entertaining a sick comedian might werk too!

Of course you could take a hybrid of Nick's suggestions; blend them together in a wide base for more stability. Like-Quietly begging, stealing and bumming ideas here, from your sitting post at the house. Then, go forth with your buisness, get a Bandit chipper, do some tree werk, and in the evenings; wear a trench coat, become a mafia hitman, and use the chipper for destroying the evedentiary leftovers! Be expansive!

And remember the brooding lessons of Lenny Bruce and George Carlin (can't ya tell there my real gurus?); that hate and violence are all ways and always more obseen than humor of any sort (mm well just about)!

Your wondering about priests being virgins shows you must be studying hard for your bizness, for you don't watch the news much...........

"Hetrocentricly chauvenistic"?- i didn't know big guys, knew big words! Like some kind of esoteric, even-ing balance in the wierld. Wow; what happened to "Duh, i play voot ball"?:eek:
 
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I don't like basketball either:D

Used to kickbox though. In the unlimited catagory a 260lbs man finds himself in, I was up against some monsters. My reach did not realy help against 5'10' fireplugs.:eek:

As for my chauvenism, well it's a subtle thing. I won't hold your lifestyle against ya Kenny;).
 
Written with FLAIR

TreeSpyder,
Wow. Your essay was candy for the eyes. I LOVE a well written piece as much as I love apple pie. In any case where I see a piece so well written I feel obliged to give a noteworthy compliment. With the proper use of quarter-words and detailed and descriptive commentary. Its good to see someone use multi-facets of the English language. There is nothing wrong with using simple vernacular but displaying such grammar skills shows signs of intellect and verbal prowess. If I could I would shake your hand for being a fellow English fanatic.

P.S. My favorite comedian is Andrew Dice Clay. He runs along those disturbing lines of comedy and I love every last bit.
 
Looks like someone is putting in a job(rownnose) applications <g>.

F'st, take your Mom, your sister, Aunt and so on...place one of them as one of the subjects of "Dice's" routiens and then tell me how funny it is.

Garbage; unadulterated, vile, garbage.


:blob5:

Where is the Vomit smiley?
 
Yo JP

I'm sorry that you dont like Dice but I love his material because its all a routine. Everything he says has no real meaning he just says it to be funny. I have a thing for raw unadulterated comedy. Old Eddie Murphy is great stuff too.
 
i'm sorry i just don't find the insight in Dice, as i do form CleanCos, Bruce and Carlin. Lenny Bruce and George Carlin though rude and in revolt always seemed to me to reflect and stand for increased social conscience on some pertinet issues; rather than straight shock value for its own sake.

Glad u like my lack of w-ife style, i call it early a-meri-ken nothing!

So what is wrong with Warm Apple Pie? Per-haps a la' mode of operation is better after- all?
 
Even Dice has distanced himself from his prepubescent juvenile humor. He went from The Dice man to Andrew Dice Clay to Andrew Clay and I saw him most recently when he is just plain old Andrew Silverman.

I find it odd that somebody who professes a love for raw unadulterated humor finds no humor here when he is poked at. If you can't laugh at yourself you might as well laugh at someone else.
 
Taking a joke

Well Newfie,
I can certainly laugh at myself with the best of them. I have many friends and we constantly get a laugh at each other's expense all of the time but it is always done in humor where we laugh with each other at not at each other. I dont find getting personally attacked every other day very funny.
 
...not trying to bust on you, but

...Forrest, maybe you should post one thread out there titled, "Just Want to Chat About Things and Use Big Words "

I'm sorry, but it's DAM% annoying to read the title of a thread, open it, and then have it turn into a conversation about something totally unrelated...like commedians. And to top it off, you have to show off your vocab....if only you could see what we're seeing. Personally, every time I see a response by you that's more than two lines, I get a sick feeling.
 
WillClimb

I appreciate your honesty without needless ridicule. I took no offense to your post. I'm sorry if I use too many big words. They are a everyday part of my speech and I dont view them as big words but just plain old vocabulary. I'm not trying to show off I just type like I speak. Its not like I run to a thesaurus everytime I want to write a post....it just flows from my head to the screen. For the sake of everyone I will try better to keep my wording in check. Thank you again for approaching a matter you do not like about me with dignity and not stooping to the level that many people have like 5th grade name calling. I mean seriously....the only people that call me "gump" around here are the utmost immature individuals.
 
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