Funny saw stories! Lets hear EM!!

[parrisw]

Well here is one. Last year beside my work, there was a big Cedar that was wind damaged, the butt was about 40". Tree service came and took it down, chipped the branches and left the rest. Couple of guys came and cut the small stuff and took it for firewood. Funny part was the next guy came with a little Craftsman saw, with maybe 14" bar, most of the stuff left was really big stuff, he put the saw on the stump, the stump dwarfed the whole saw by like 3 fold, he started it up, and attempted to cut and did the old sawing motion like a hand saw. Im kinda chuckling to myself, he stopped when the wood started smoking, didn't even get in a few inches. Put the saw back on the stump, stared at it for a minute. Then just put the saw back in the wheel barrow and walked away. Well maybe its not too funny. But I got a laugh out of it at the time.

I need a laugh tonight so lets here em!!

 

[Justsaws]

I just had a fellow say to me that the saw ran funny and was hard to start when the gas tank was almost empty. He did not think it was running right because it would also make the chain hot and hard to turn when it was almost out of fuel.

The last 350 hole burner owner wanted to know how the exhaust could burn a hole through the "metal oil holder" and ruin his "professional" saw.

The last XL12 owner that I spoke with said it was the largest saw Homelight ever made.

I recently spent an hour with a saw genius who explained to me how Dolmar and Husky were the same saws and being made in Mexico and Japan. This particular fellow is a gainfully employed saw tech and a real treat to speak with. His Stihl conspiracy theories would make Chris Carter's head spin.

 

[Cameljoe73]

I was doing some work at a buddy's place Monday, and he kicked the chain on his 44 doing some liming. instead of fixing it on the spot, he grabbed my 460, and finished. at the end of the day, right at dark he fixed his chain, and flipped his bar while he was at it, then left his saw in the back of my truck, and forgot to grab it when we got back up to his house. When I got home, I noticed I still had his saw, and I noticed he put his chain on backwards.. Just for the hell of it, I sharpened the back side of the chain. next morning, first light, we were firing up the saws, and sure enough he got the bar to the wood before he noticed the chain was on back wards. Chain cut good, but REAL grabby, he stopped and said WOW you must have really got this thing sharp!.. I laughed and said LOOK at the chain. We both started laughing so hard it stopped production for 15 minutes.

 

[parrisw]

LOL

Nice good start. keep em comming.

 

[deeker]

I was doing some work at a buddy's place Monday, and he kicked the chain on his 44 doing some liming. instead of fixing it on the spot, he grabbed my 460, and finished. at the end of the day, right at dark he fixed his chain, and flipped his bar while he was at it, then left his saw in the back of my truck, and forgot to grab it when we got back up to his house. When I got home, I noticed I still had his saw, and I noticed he put his chain on backwards.. Just for the hell of it, I sharpened the back side of the chain. next morning, first light, we were firing up the saws, and sure enough he got the bar to the wood before he noticed the chain was on back wards. Chain cut good, but REAL grabby, he stopped and said WOW you must have really got this thing sharp!.. I laughed and said LOOK at the chain. We both started laughing so hard it stopped production for 15 minutes.

You might be evil for that post!!!! But funny as hell.

Kevin

 

[wanab]

funny?

you mean a joke?

i bought a 361, its about the biggest joke i have ever seen.

LMAO!

 

[parrisw]

funny?

you mean a joke?

i bought a 361, its about the biggest joke i have ever seen.

LMAO!

WHOH, real funny.

Don't want this to turn into a pissing match!!!

 

[mattinky]

About a month ago one of my buddies brings his 026 to me, he's very pi**ed off, the end of the bar is covered with a thick layer of dirt, he says this mother****** quit on me today and I guess it's blown up, it does'nt have any compression. I asked him how all the dirt got on the bar??? A tree had fallen across his fence and he was on his neighbor's side of the fence cutting when the saw quit. When it would'nt restart he got mad and threw it over the fence, the bar stuck in the ground so thats how the bar got covered with dirt.

I took the top cover off and the spark plug had come loose and worked it's way out of the cylinder, the threads were'nt damaged. I screwed the plug back in and it started right up!

 

[blackoak]

I had a guy bring me his chain in to sharpen. He told me that he was tired of getting chips slung up on him while cutting so he put his chain on backwards to throw them out the other way. I ask him if it worked, he said yes but it was much slower cutting and thought his chain need sharpening. I ask if this was his first saw. It was a Wildthing he had bought a Wally World a week before. I thought for sure I would read about him in the paper within a week or two, but I didn't. This guy is an engineer. He's so smart that that it scares me

 

[smoking440]

About a month ago one of my buddies brings his 026 to me, he's very pi**ed off, the end of the bar is covered with a thick layer of dirt, he says this mother****** quit on me today and I guess it's blown up, it does'nt have any compression. I asked him how all the dirt got on the bar??? A tree had fallen across his fence and he was on his neighbor's side of the fence cutting when the saw quit. When it would'nt restart he got mad and threw it over the fence, the bar stuck in the ground so thats how the bar got covered with dirt.

I took the top cover off and the spark plug had come loose and worked it's way out of the cylinder, the threads were'nt damaged. I screwed the plug back in and it started right up!

Now that is funny! I just about fell off my chair Keep them stories comming, this is great

 

[parrisw]

ha ha ha, keep em comming.

 

[superfire]

home owner versus logger in saw shop

i was in my buddyz saw shop a few years ago and my logging buddy and i were in back and this numb nutz homeowner walks in and starts bragging in front of two old timers about his new realyl big chain saw. the guy was just a trouble maker . so i grab one of the oldddddd mac gear drives that still was run able and step in to the front part of the shop. the mac i grabed had a 6 foot bar. well he paid no heed to me that is til i fired her off. he peeled out of the shop and got in his rig and peeled out and never came back. the best part is he forget his rel chainsaw, a polon with a 18" bar . to this day we have it as trophy.

 

[clearance]

i was in my buddyz saw shop a few years ago and my logging buddy and i were in back and this numb nutz homeowner walks in and starts bragging in front of two old timers about his new realyl big chain saw. the guy was just a trouble maker . so i grab one of the oldddddd mac gear drives that still was run able and step in to the front part of the shop. the mac i grabed had a 6 foot bar. well he paid no heed to me that is til i fired her off. he peeled out of the shop and got in his rig and peeled out and never came back. the best part is he forget his rel chainsaw, a polon with a 18" bar . to this day we have it as trophy.

Awesome. What a tard, too funny. A couple of times now I have seen guys pour two stroke right into the gas tank, they saw me looking and asked, is that enough? I showed them the right way, didn't mock them because they were ok people, just didn't know anything about saws.

 

[blackoak]

Awesome. What a tard, too funny. A couple of times now I have seen guys pour two stroke right into the gas tank, they saw me looking and asked, is that enough? I showed them the right way, didn't mock them because they were ok people, just didn't know anything about saws.

Believe it or not, but I have had guys think that you poured the two cycle oil in to the hole that says "oil" and the saw mixed it with the gas. They said their old Yamaha did it that way.

 

[7sleeper]

I had a guy bring me his chain in to sharpen. He told me that he was tired of getting chips slung up on him while cutting so he put his chain on backwards to throw them out the other way. I ask him if it worked, he said yes but it was much slower cutting and thought his chain need sharpening. I ask if this was his first saw. It was a Wildthing he had bought a Wally World a week before. I thought for sure I would read about him in the paper within a week or two, but I didn't. This guy is an engineer. He's so smart that that it scares me

He just forgot to activate the reverse gear by pushing the lever in front of the handlebar.



Something happenend to me once. At my girlfriends father I was running his nice old Stihl 07 and the tank was empty. So I go and get the "other" jerry can with written "gas" on it. Make some mix and off we go. After about 1/2 minute the nice old Stihl becomes a fogging machine as if I was in some military maneuver trying to hide a tank. I mean that was really scary having a chainsaw at high speed and you can hardly see the tip of the blade. Of course I turned it off. I went to that old fellow just to see him laughing his head off. He told me that he had accidendtly contaminated the gas with diesel. That old stihl didn't even care what was in it it just ran!
Change of gas problem solved.

Greetings from smokey village

7sleeper

 

[spike60]

Had an older guy, early 60's maybe, come in speaking with a fairly heavy Eastern European accent looking to buy a saw. Didn't seem to me that he knew that much about saws. I thought it might have been the language thing, but I asked him if he had any chainsaw experience. He said that he knew all about tools and equipment. After about a half hour, he settled on a 359, so I took one in the back and got it set up. Brought it out and set it on the counter to start doing the paperwork. The guy picks it up and starts squeezing the trigger. He then looks at me and says "Why is not going?". He didn't even know that it was a gasoline engine and the you had to pull the rope so the saw "is going". At that point, I decided that I wasn't going to sell him a saw. I just put the saw back on the shelf and told him he was going to probably hurt himself with it.

 

[belgian]

Had an older guy, early 60's maybe, come in speaking with a fairly heavy Eastern European accent looking to buy a saw. Didn't seem to me that he knew that much about saws. I thought it might have been the language thing, but I asked him if he had any chainsaw experience. He said that he knew all about tools and equipment. After about a half hour, he settled on a 359, so I took one in the back and got it set up. Brought it out and set it on the counter to start doing the paperwork. The guy picks it up and starts squeezing the trigger. He then looks at me and says "Why is not going?". He didn't even know that it was a gasoline engine and the you had to pull the rope so the saw "is going". At that point, I decided that I wasn't going to sell him a saw. I just put the saw back on the shelf and told him he was going to probably hurt himself with it.

Shoot spike, you should have sold him an electrical one. I have bought one for my 75 y old father and he loves it.

 

[slowp]

I was opening up a road to see where it ended up at. It was all grown in and had some blowdown on it. I started cutting an old blowdown up. Twinkle was not running well for some reason, probably had a dull chain. Twinkle bogged down, again and I started yelling at Twinkle, but I don't think it was a really bad fit. Turned around and there was a man standing very close, looking shocked. He timidly asked if the road went to a huckleberry patch. I was able to answer politely.

 

[bigjake]

I had a poulin with a 18 " bar that a buddy of mine borowed .His saw had a
bad clutch and was waiting for it .Well i had a old POS echo with a 12 bar
i used for cutting small limbs. It was gave to me it would'nt run.anyway
my to buddys next 2 houses were sitting in the garage drinking.I had been
pounding beer all day and the wife yells out the door we need more wood.
So i head to the pile and they both start making fun of my saw sitting thier.
Ihad some soft maple limbs out front so i said i will cut the #### with the echo
well it had a fresh chain so i fire it up start cutting.I don't get through a 8 "
log saw bogs so i'm mad its dark im drunk and this saw is going to cut!!
well the bar looked like a hot sauce comercial smokin so i quit throw the
saw in the trash along with a beer i just downed .well the next day i figured
out what happend they had replaced the soft maple with hedge apple fresh
that day and yes i forgot to get the saw out of the trash before the wife
took out the garbage.They still laugh

 

[Longwood]

Sometimes I help a arborist friend of mine in the evenings. We had large tree trunk to remove in town. We cut it up small enough to throw it on a trailer but we couldn't lift the crotch on to the trailer. I grabbed my saw thinking I'll cut it in two, my friend says "I'll do it, I got a brand new chain that will rip right threw it".
It's just about dark and he hits the crotch with the saw screaming,
all of a sudden there is a cloud of white dust and orange sparks so bad it looks like he's using a grinder. After cutting about an inch deep and stopping, I reply, "That new chain is awesome, but it sure didn't last long!" .
Turns out the crotch was poured full of concrete and his new chain looked like he tried to saw an anvil in two.