I have decided I am a heathen at heart.Forgive me!

[poorboypaul]

It sounds like those people need to help others to put THEMSELVES on a pedestal. Painting her house so THEY can drive by and see how nice it looks. These people can't see the forest for the trees. Let themselves get walked all over just to feel good about helping others. I'm 100% with you. Maybe she has mental issues. If she does, cleaning her yard isn't the help she needs. But at least they feel good about their noble deeds, even after crawling out of the pile of dung cast on them by her.

 

[zogger]

No, you are cool

She really doesn't have a connection to the church, our youth ministry coordinator happened past her house some time ago and saw her laying on the lawn, passed out.Some type of freak occurrence with a new prescription drug.She felt sorry for the old gal after talking with her, and regularly sends her husband over to mow her lawn and take care of odd things around the place.
What prompted the cleanup was her homeowners insurance expired, and she dropped them after the rates went up drastically, and the new insurance company sent a rep out to photograph the place and had a cow at the condition it was in.Ivy grown all over the siding, etc and refused to cover her until it was cleaned up.

As for the sympathy, I neither posted expecting any, nor do I want any. #### like this happens all the time, and I expect it. What bothered me more than anything else was the feeling that I was the ONLY one that felt shafted in the deal, and kinda made me question my purity of heart. I always considered myself a helpful kinda guy with no thought of favors being returned, yet yesterday was another example of how I feel taken advantage of, and the others working just as hard were alright with it all.
I have tried most of my life to change how I deal with folks.I have always operated under the mode of, "I will help you out and be your friend, but the second you deliberately shaft me we are over.Your name goes in my little black book, and there are no going back with me.Shaft me by accident, out of ignorance, or just dont know any better, you had better apologize and I will keep an eye on you for awhile. If you continue to mess with me, I will look for an excuse to make you miserable." Not a real good way to live your life, I know.

I try and surround myself now with folks who are a little more forgiving, and I find it real puzzling.How much do you have to get screwed before you call it quits?I have no idea. While these folks are good people,it just appears to me that they are just asking to get screwed.Which leads me to question, "who is right here?"

Just think about it for a minute.We had six adults there, from all walks of life.A FedEX driver, a contractor, a businessman,a lawncare guy, a lawyer, and a retired truck driver.Twenty odd teenage kids, and me. Out of the whole bunch, I was the only one that felt screwed over, and thoroughly messed with.How in the hell could I be the one that had good enough judgement to say, "okay, enough is enough.No more work over here, this lady is taking us for a ride, and just wants free help because she wont pick up her trash and rake her yard.Its a sign of laziness, and in six months this place will look just as it did when we showed up.There is no helping lazy."

Cant help but think I had to be wrong here.Too many over on the other side of the fence.

If she is just fifty, just what the heck? Sounds like these pills she takes from some establishment alleged "doctor" quack have made her stupid mean and lazy. They got a quarter of the population on mind altering drugs now. Where the heck is the war on drugs there? Ohhh..those are *legal* drugs so that makes them OK..horse radish. Dammm quacks are the biggest dope dealers out there, seen it all the time. Right up there with the banker scammers, the big pharmco/quacks scams. Glad I grew up before the time where they would point at a young boy just acting normal and declare them "diseased" with adhd or add who knows what and get them force addicted to speed as "the cure". Quacks....

What is wrong with her, she can't work any job, crippled up, what? Doped up sounds like it. She needed to either get a boyfriend or married some time ago and get new squeeze to help out around the house, or pay some teenager to do it on the weekends. Fifty years old is not ancient old.

You hung in longer than I would have! Now, 70 or older, dirt poor, crippled up, walking with a stick, no kin to help out..sure, some charity work. fifty or under, with air conditioning...giving orders and whatnot..;screw that, I woulda walked as soon as I saw her.

Man, get away from that brainwashed group of boneheads. There's other churches and outfits out there to volunteer with. Something is just not right there, sounds like a cult, and you picked up on it, enough so to post here about it, so follow through and get out now while you can.

 

[Hedgerow]

It sounds like those people need to help others to put THEMSELVES on a pedestal. Painting her house so THEY can drive by and see how nice it looks. These people can't see the forest for the trees. Let themselves get walked all over just to feel good about helping others. I'm 100% with you. Maybe she has mental issues. If she does, cleaning her yard isn't the help she needs. But at least they feel good about their noble deeds, even after crawling out of the pile of dung cast on them by her.

Swinggg and a miss!!! Keep trying poorboy!!!:msp_sneaky:

 

[poorboypaul]

Actually right on target.

 

[Hedgerow]

Actually right on target.

You might be... But it's pretty bold to lay motive at the feet of folks you don't know. Ed will get it straightened out... Then let us know "The rest of the story"...

 

[Currently]

Nothing to forgive, I would of walked off the minute she stuffed herself with Gatorade. Food I can understand ... somewhat.

Maybe there was a seed planted, however I doubt it very much. Not for me to judge another person however I do have the ability to discern right from wrong, being used and abused and finally good versus evil.

Manners and morals are taught and learned. Distinguishes us from animals.

Like you, I am still working the tornado damage just south of my location and while the work I am now doing is no longer critical, I am doing it because these people really need the help and cannot afford to pay for it. I work with a non-denominational group of people that know the area and people and are able to distinguish the users that really need it from the abusers looking for a free ride.

I am not a church going man because of the many reasons stated above that reflect my personal experiences. Hypocrisy is a trait I insulate myself against due to lots of scar tissue.

Walking away from a job feeling dirty and abused is a clear sign your Maker gave free will and choice to discern good from bad.

There are some people out there that are bad ... bad to the bone ... they choose to be that way.
Karma comes around ... all I can say.

Thanks for sharing, I do believe we have quite a bit in common and would like to meet you someday and shake your hand.

 

[CTYank]

You ran into one of those folks "they name streets after"- One Way. A form of sociopath.

As a counter-example, last month, with many others, I was up in MA doing my little bit to clear downed trees from tornado, dispatched daily to where needed. One of the days, the home-owner and two of her kids were working with us all day, cooked burgers for us (in addition to the food brought around to the volunteer crews) and regularly plied us with cold fluids. Then when we wrapped up, thanked all of us. You might guess that we worked at it until just about becoming dangerous.

You might do better to vent with the minister or whoever sent you to MS Gimmee and ask his/her criteria for choosing recipients.

 

[morewood]

Don't quit, never give up

Until 2 weeks ago I did all the mowing, firewood, and general help for an elderly gentleman I went to church with. He had little to offer, but would try to help in whatever way he could. He spent some of his time with meals on wheels and from what i have been told never left a house without asking how they felt. He always asked why I helped an old curmudgeon like himself, I told him I enjoyed it. Even without the items he gave me from his immense collection of stuff, I feel like I got more than he did. I know, this was a long story to come to this. :msp_smile:If the Lord Almighty puts the burden on you, do it.:msp_smile: If people do, then you are allowed to question it. By the way, Gene Moffitt died almost 2 weeks ago and I still mow his yard for the family and will continue to do so until they decide what they will do with the property. Life is too short to not enjoy doing things for others for the simple joy of doing it. Find your burden, then you will enjoy it.

Shea

Sorry for the long story, but felt the example would help.

 

[slowp]

If one volunteers, one volunteers. I've done flood cleanup. Yes, people took advantage of us. Many did not.
You just do it, try not to get bent out of shape from the takers, and go on with the cleanup. If you stopped to question each person to find out how "worthy" they are, you'd never get done. And, some deserving people would probably get left out and some of the takers would still get helped.

It is best just to help everybody who wants it, and not to ask a lot of questions. The exceptions are meth houses. Then you go on by.

 

[Currently]

Until 2 weeks ago I did all the mowing, firewood, and general help for an elderly gentleman I went to church with. He had little to offer, but would try to help in whatever way he could. He spent some of his time with meals on wheels and from what i have been told never left a house without asking how they felt. He always asked why I helped an old curmudgeon like himself, I told him I enjoyed it. Even without the items he gave me from his immense collection of stuff, I feel like I got more than he did. I know, this was a long story to come to this. :msp_smile:If the Lord Almighty puts the burden on you, do it.:msp_smile: If people do, then you are allowed to question it. By the way, Gene Moffitt died almost 2 weeks ago and I still mow his yard for the family and will continue to do so until they decide what they will do with the property. Life is too short to not enjoy doing things for others for the simple joy of doing it. Find your burden, then you will enjoy it.

Shea

Sorry for the long story, but felt the example would help.

I believe that is the point Ed is making ... with so many needy and appreciative people out there, there has to be good karma to get.

Every time you helped Mr. Moffit, did you not feel the grace of God?

That grace is there to guide us, reward us and last but not least to help us grow.

 

[Iron man]

I agree with the OP.I would have packed up when she stole the pizza.If she came out and had a few slices and BS for a bit that would be different.And taking the gatorade is a scum bag move.Its 100 deg out why not walk around passing them out while you thank people for the help?And seriously does she need her yard cleaned?I say no.You need food/water and shelter.If her roof was bad that would be something needed and something like that is expensive so I can see how volunteering for something like that makes sense but cleaning the yard is just stupid.

 

[mga]

I agree with the OP.I would have packed up when she stole the pizza.If she came out and had a few slices and BS for a bit that would be different.And taking the gatorade is a scum bag move.Its 100 deg out why not walk around passing them out while you thank people for the help?And seriously does she need her yard cleaned?I say no.You need food/water and shelter.If her roof was bad that would be something needed and something like that is expensive so I can see how volunteering for something like that makes sense but cleaning the yard is just stupid.

amen, bro!

 

[TMFARM 2009]

You know, I like to help my fellow man as much as anyone else, or at least I thought I did.

Yesterday I participated in a clean up for a local resident sponsored by our church's youth ministry, and namely the idea was for me to show up, knock some trees down, cut em up, and let the kids haul the debris to the road. I was told ahead of time that it was for an elderly lady who just didnt have the means to help herself, and I willingly took the day off to be there.

The day before I went to the home to look things over and decide what equipment to bring along, and had a chance to meet the "elderly lady" and was surprised to see that she wasnt much older than me(I am 44). Maybe my definition of "old" could use some work? Maybe I am now considered old?
At any rate, I decided that since i was committed to the project, I would show up, but I would later have a word with our youth ministry about who should be considered worthy of our time, although in reality it really isnt my business I guess.Showed up an hour early to get some brush on the ground and almost immediately was put into position to change my mind.
First it was the badgering.
"look out for those power lines going through all the trees."
"Be careful with that chainsaw, you are acting awful reckless"
"Are you sure you should be wearing short pants?" (I was wearing shorts with chaps on over them, it was 98 degrees out and 100 percent humidity.)

Finally the kids and other adults showed up, and we worked for a couple of hours and broke for dinner at 6 when the pastor showed up with pizza for the whole crew. And dang it all, the old gal came out of the air conditioned house, scooped up a pizza box, and went back in the house!

I thought WTF? We are busting our hump out here cleaning up your place, and you take our dinner? I was glad it was hot out at that point because I really dont feel like eating much when I am hot, but it would have been nice to have something more than the scrapings off the pizza box for some dinner.Its amazing how fast teenagers can wipe out a pizza pie.Take five seconds to get to the box and its gone.
An hour later I came around the front of the house, and there was our beneficiary scooping gatorades out of the cooler and filling her shirt, and as she carted as many drinks into the house as she could carry in her bulging shirt, she told me she just loves Gatorade.WTF? We are busting our hump out here cleaning up your place, and you take our drinks?

Finally as dark approached we called it good and loaded our tools up, and i took the chance to take a quick inventory to make sure everything had gotten back to my truck. Just as I figured it was time to locate my daughter and hit the road, our beneficiary came up to me and wanted to know if I could knock down two more trees, this time in the front of the house.It was dark, i was tired, and ready to head home, but after some pleading from our youth leader I quietly dragged the 372 out of the truck and knocked em both down, bucked em up, and prayed that I wouldnt cut my foot off in the dark. And I just couldnt help but think, "We are busting our hump out here cleaning up your place, and you arent satisfied?"

You would think that would be the end of it, but it wasnt. Then it was trim up a hydragea in the dark, prune back a dogwood, and i finally said I aint doing a dang thing more.Its 930 at night, I have been humping brush, vines, and trash for the past six hours with nothing to eat, and I am going home.

The more I thought about it, the more ticked I got, and as I joined the group yacking out by the roadside, I put my thoughts out there for a few of the other guys, and was surprised at their response.I figured that if the homeowner wasn't old, she ought to be out there helping, and they were appalled at my callousness. I figured that if we were doing the work, we should be fed and watered first, and if there was anything left someone else could walk off with it.Again, I was met with blank stares. I figured that if a pro showed up to help you out, you ought to let the man do his job and keep your yap shut unless it was plain to see that he had no idea what he was doing.Again, the blank stares.

Sorry for the long post, but I needed to get that off my chest. I wish in my heart I could be more like others and freely give of myself even if the recipient isn't so thankful or worthy.

ok here's the way i was taught... and the way i see your situation.....
i was taught if a person steals from ya but only partially you should willingly give the rest of the product to them....
now that's said... since you had already drank some Gatorade you should go back and pee on her porch.. then you will make the heathen list...

 

[Sagetown]

The senior citizens are given a luncheon every week. One little old lady, probably 80 or 90 years old, who dresses as though she's financially well endowed, consistenly stuffs her hand bag with paper napkins at every luncheon. She's been asked not to do it, but she ignores their requests, and does it anyway.
She always arrives and the facility early, and when the attendants begin to bring the salads and such out to the buffett to set up, she's right in the way trying to fill her plate. The other day, they weren't doing to suit her, so she gets verbal and throws her plate at one of the attendants. Some people.

 

[griffonks]

You/I don't need your church to help you get ####ed on a charity/good deed..... We can do that on our own being considerate and kind.

You described ten other folks who were idiots, your daughter eventually understood, which is a plus.

Don't give up your religion, but work at saying no to requests- and only giving when its your idea....

GeeVee is right, people like me do a lot better and wind up happier when we pick our own beneficiaries. I guess that I just don't think like most others.... I believe in a hand up not a handout.

 

[MacLaren]

Just forget about that woman. You did a good thing regardless. But IMHO, you need to have a good frank, if not stern talk with the youth ministry. They cant be that stupid. I mean hell, I'm sorry but a woman under 50 aint elderly. Seriously, all those blank stares you got.......they just cant be that stupid.

 

[unclemoustache]

I am a Christian man too, and not ashamed to admit it....

...I don't attend church.
...I would have walked off MUCH sooner than you did.
...I think you were alot more gracious than I could have mustered to be.
...I would have disassociated myself with the lot of them.
...I would in the least, not offer my "free" services in the future...

Hmm. I sense a dichotemy here.

avalancher; you stated you're a church goer. You profess Christianity. That puts you in candidacy for testing your character as a son of the Almighty. Those results give airs to your conscience, whether to be obedient to the Father's wishes or rebel against them. Think it no strange thing to come under such scrutiny. For a son will a father chastise that one day he can say " this is my son in whom I am well pleased."
Hang in there.:msp_tongue:

I think Sagetown got it right. This is a test. God gives us these kinds of things just to test our character, and see if we're really obeying him as we ought. There will always be these kinds of people. You remember the story of my neighbor who just became homeless - same kind of thing. We helped her out as best we could, and now the last I heard she was kicked out of her new place and was jailed. As far as I know, everyone else around here is simply shrugging their shoulders and going about their business. We did what we should have - given a little help to show her we care, and that there's something better than what she's got. If she responded well, then we would have continued to help her get back on her feet, but since she just took and didn't make any changes, then we've all dropped her and left her to her fate.

I see your 'old lady' friend as the same thing. You did your deed, you gave sacrificially, and now you wait and see. (Hopefully your youth director or someone from the church took the time to talk to her about more important matters than keeping a clean yard.) If the yard goes back to a junk pile again, then I certainly hope the church doesn't go in and clean it up again. That's how the government operates - throw money at a bad system and lazy people so as to keep the system bad and the people lazy. Charity (especially Christian charity) should be much different.

Hang in there and let it roll off. We shouldn't be surprised that selfish lazy slobs act like selfish lazy slobs. Who knows? Maybe right now because of your efforts she's crying in her gatorade wishing that she had the willpower to break free from her nasty way of life. Then again, maybe she's outside looking at the work y'all did and thinking what a bad job it all was, and is contemplating a lawsuit.:bang: Whatever happens, let it roll off and think about the grateful people you've helped. Maybe read through my card again, eh?

James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Here are a few more. Look em' up yerself.
Matt 5:42
Luke 6:27-36
James 1:12
Matt 7:6

Thanks for sharing, I do believe we have quite a bit in common and would like to meet you someday and shake your hand.

I'm looking forward to that opportunity this October. Uncle Moustache and the family are heading to TN for a little vacation!:biggrinbounce2::msp_thumbup:

 

[MacLaren]

I agree totally, it was a great thing you did too. but then again, you need to watch out for the flock too.....school them on what or whom is really needy. Just my opinion.

 

[4seasons]

Just think about it for a minute.We had six adults there, from all walks of life.A FedEX driver, a contractor, a businessman,a lawncare guy, a lawyer, and a retired truck driver.Twenty odd teenage kids, and me. Out of the whole bunch, I was the only one that felt screwed over, and thoroughly messed with.

Let me preface this with I do not know the people you know and am only making a broad assumption. I know this will sound like I am calling your friends idiots, but I am only making a statement of my experiences in similar situations. That said I have been a FedEX driver, and an over the road truck driver, and tried to start a lawncare business. In each of these professions I felt like I was constantly being screwed. That is the reason that I quit doing each of them. I would think that if my experience was common that others would realize that they were getting screwed as well but somehow trucking companies keep on doing the same stuff that I wouldn't but up with and FedEX keeps the packages coming. Maybe I am the only one smart enough to know that I was getting screwed. Unless there is a lot more going on there than we are aware of it sounds like you may have been the only one there thinking straight.

On the other hand it has been hot enough around here to mess with your head too. Maybe you were so tired, thirsty, and hungry that you started seeing things like someone stealing your gatoraid. Are you sure the lady was only 50 or were you so delusional that the elderly lady started looking better. :msp_wink:

Anyway you are a better man than me. Charity work in the summer should be done indoors. I don't get out of the air conditioning when the temps get over 80. Yard overgrown, no insurance, stealing food and drink from the ones helping? There is a padded room or jail cell for people like that.

 

[stihl_in_texas]

Next time, go with the ass-less chaps and a thong. Works every time.