Ladies and gentlemen, I've just been accused of being a troll. That cuts me. Deep. To assume that a man of my stature would stoop to such treachery as trollery is leap of a fanciful imagination and should be quashed; do not give free rein to such whims and notions!
I have a dream that one day chainsaws will be judged for the content of their roar and not the tint of their paint. I hold these truths to be self evident--that all saws are created equal. But I also know that some saws have had their dignity checks bounced and returned as non sufficient funds. And so now I can not in good conscience stand in the way as those saws come to collect their fair share of equality. To do so would be unAmerican.
Before you call me a troll, ask yourself "am I unAmerican?" Ladies and gentlemen I hope not. The big orange orb in the sky wouldn't be happy.