The Cord: Vox Clamintus en Desierto

[laser]

What'd you say? Accord? Been cutting today, can't hear ya! :greenchainsaw:

http://www.newcarpark.com/blog/images1/2009-honda-accord-concept.jpg

 

[dingeryote]

What'd you say? Accord? Been cutting today, can't hear ya! :greenchainsaw:

http://www.newcarpark.com/blog/images1/2009-honda-accord-concept.jpg

Yep!!!

Accord. However much wood ya can stuff into an Accord is acord.
That's how them big city folks buy acord, and how it's measured by firewood guys that sell in them big citys.

And ya don't need those funny lookin' 3-D glasses for masspounds if ya buy wood in Massapequa. Just an accord. Those Japs are always thinking of the little details.

Stay safe!
Dingeryote

 

[rtrsam]

The dimensions of a cord of firewood are pretty well defined. Following this link;

http://www.fs.fed.us/r6/malheur/product/firewood.htm

We are presented with two vague terms: "well-stacked" and "Properly stacked." I don't think any reasonable person would define either as a solid block of wood 4' x 4' x 8' (I work in the redwoods, so such a block could be created, no arguments about a "full cord" on that one). By the same token, wood dumped from a loader bucket or conveyor or just tossed into the bed of a truck would not meet this definition of "well stacked" or "properly stacked."

In California, most Counties have a Department of Weights and Measures that identifies further requirements for measuring wood for sale. One of these is you have to identify the composition of your firewood by species, accurate to within 10% ("Half tan-oak, half Doug fir" for example).

When I was in school at Humboldt State, a forestry professor even went further, stating that a cord of wood had to be stacked tightly enough so a squirrel could escape into the wood pile while the cat chasing the squirrel was unable to pursue. He even brought out the variations in the sizes of cats and squirrels to show how vague even that was.

Now you've got me wondering; a couple months back I measured some logs I was cutting up, and doing some computations in my head about how many cubic feet of wood I was dealing with, and then planned to see how far that went in filling my truck. Unfortunately, I found myself scraping around and picking up some miscellaneous chunks as well to top off my load, so my calculations never went to completion. Alas!

 

[Ol' Brian]

OK.

So we all switch over to Mass as a unit of measure for firewood.

That's all good and fine for retail trade and all but it is pointless and moot.

Making a cold hard science out of burning wood just sucks the fun,lore, and romance outta the matter and should be a crime.

It's really a simple thing.
If ya don't like the looks of the volume bieng delivered by the dealer, tell him to get lost or haggle with the price.

How much to cut for the next season?
Simple. As much as ya can. Because as soon as you decide ya have enough, a colder and longer than usual winter will set in, and your Mom/sister/cousin/neighbor/ buddy will ask if you can spare a cord.
Just put down the frickin slide rule and get busy cuttin' and don't worry about it.

How much wood do you have?
Simple. Stack all you can cut in a manner that you will always have room for more. Screw dimensions or measuring it. As soon as you figure you have enough to hold you over and some to sell, you'll run into folks that want you to measure it out and you'll either be a crook, or give 'em too much and not make any $$$. Worse is if ya know you have 28 Cords tightly stacked, all it takes is 4-5 Beers at the local pub and comparing woodpiles, and then EVERYBODY knows ya got too much wood and will come begging.

There's only two REAL measurements.
"Maybe enough", and "Almost out".

Stay safe!
Dingeryote

Tried to rep ya for that, but gotta spread it around a little!!

Right on!!!

 

[dingeryote]

The dimensions of a cord of firewood are pretty well defined. Following this link;

http://www.fs.fed.us/r6/malheur/product/firewood.htm

We are presented with two vague terms: "well-stacked" and "Properly stacked." I don't think any reasonable person would define either as a solid block of wood 4' x 4' x 8' (I work in the redwoods, so such a block could be created, no arguments about a "full cord" on that one). By the same token, wood dumped from a loader bucket or conveyor or just tossed into the bed of a truck would not meet this definition of "well stacked" or "properly stacked."

In California, most Counties have a Department of Weights and Measures that identifies further requirements for measuring wood for sale. One of these is you have to identify the composition of your firewood by species, accurate to within 10% ("Half tan-oak, half Doug fir" for example).

When I was in school at Humboldt State, a forestry professor even went further, stating that a cord of wood had to be stacked tightly enough so a squirrel could escape into the wood pile while the cat chasing the squirrel was unable to pursue. He even brought out the variations in the sizes of cats and squirrels to show how vague even that was.

Now you've got me wondering; a couple months back I measured some logs I was cutting up, and doing some computations in my head about how many cubic feet of wood I was dealing with, and then planned to see how far that went in filling my truck. Unfortunately, I found myself scraping around and picking up some miscellaneous chunks as well to top off my load, so my calculations never went to completion. Alas!

EXACTLY!!!

If ya buy an Ice cream cone, How big is a dip?
Around here ya either get two small scoops, or one big scoop, BUT the cone at the small scoop place is bigger. To mess things up the one big scoop place has better Ice Cream.

On that truckload Cord...did it work out to two Ranks or a face cord?

Stay safe!
Dingeryote

 

[Mr Goodwrench]

I'll just stick to my pick-up loads

 

[rtrsam]

I'll just stick to my pick-up loads

Long bed, short bed, three quarter ton, half ton, mini truck, bed rails? Thrown in, stacked in...

I like the guy who said (paraphrasing here) "Enough, or Not Enough." That about gets it.

 

[howellhandmade]

EXACTLY!!!

If ya buy an Ice cream cone, How big is a dip?
Around here ya either get two small scoops, or one big scoop, BUT the cone at the small scoop place is bigger. To mess things up the one big scoop place has better Ice Cream.

On that truckload Cord...did it work out to two Ranks or a face cord?

Stay safe!
Dingeryote

I can answer that! During my high school years I worked at a Baskin-Robbins, where a dip weighs 3.2 ounces. The owner would come in with these little plastic trays and have us dip six scoops, which he would weigh and it had better be dang close to 19.2 oz. Any less and he'd lose customers, any more and his ice cream percentage would go down.

The bigger the outfit, the more a little here and a little there adds up. For wood, the only thing people really seem to be arguing about is, like rtsam said, what is meant by well stacked. Letting a squirrel into the stack is a new one, that seems a little too beneficial to the seller, chipmunk maybe. We've got some fat squirrels. Firewood is simply shaped too irregularly not to be subject to variations in stacking, and if there is at least agreement between buyer and seller that a cord of wood is stacked that's a start. The term "thrown cord" seems to have some adherents, but the idea that a cord is 128 cubic feet no matter how it's stacked is repugnant.

It's all meaningless to me anyway since I cut my own wood. If I yelled at myself because my cords are short I wouldn't understand why I was so upset.

Jack

 

[logbutcher]

We are presented with two vague terms: "well-stacked" and "Properly stacked."

The boys are riled up again....The old "stick in the eye" strikes again....

On this storm-riden day of muck and mire, we diddle indoors. But now, this WOODPOR$ . The thread has been duly high-jacked to "stacking". Next thing you know the boys will be determining the correct definitions of cups, and bra dimensions. e.g. "Is a D really a "D" ?? Or, do you measure according to State of Maine Statute above or below the clavicle for a 36 ???

Wheweeee, don't nobody have a life ? What ever happened to my order for "no replies" ?

 

[Marc]

Wheweeee, don't nobody have a life ? What ever happened to my order for "no replies" ?

Dude... you might as well go find your nearest AA meeting, hand everyone there their favorite cocktail and tell everyone "now don't take a drink." And then leave the room.

 

[woodbooga]

What'd you say? Accord? Been cutting today, can't hear ya! :greenchainsaw:

http://www.newcarpark.com/blog/images1/2009-honda-accord-concept.jpg

That whatcha get after cutting 'some' wood with a jap-made HusqvarHonda?

 

[giXXer]

We are presented with two vague terms: "well-stacked" and "Properly stacked."

The boys are riled up again....The old "stick in the eye" strikes again....

On this storm-riden day of muck and mire, we diddle indoors. But now, this WOODPOR$ . The thread has been duly high-jacked to "stacking". Next thing you know the boys will be determining the correct definitions of cups, and bra dimensions. e.g. "Is a D really a "D" ?? Or, do you measure according to State of Maine Statute above or below the clavicle for a 36 ???

Wheweeee, don't nobody have a life ? What ever happened to my order for "no replies" ?

Now that got my attention! Breast and bra sizes? Comparing them to firewood measurements? I love this forum! 36D? This thread is completely worthless without PHOTOS!

Let's see, how does this work? Logbutcher, please do not reply to my post with pictures.

opcorn:

 

[dingeryote]

OOOOHHHH NO YOU DIDN'T!!!!:jawdrop:

That may be The best one yet.!

Wood volume paralells to Bra sizes with known modifiers....

LOL!!!!

Poorly stacked Cord= a Rosanne Barr D cup?
Tightly stacked Cord of hardwood= Jennifer Love Hewitt D cup?
Tightly stacked cord of Sasafrass or poplar=Pam Anderson(Looks nice but is fake in value) D cup?

Poorly stacked Rick of pine= Paris Hilton A cup?
Tightlly stacked Rick of hardwood= Mila Jojovich A cup?

No squirrels, Cats, or regional influences, and all us guys can accurately communicate the matter with no cornfusion.

Thoughts?

Yep. It's nasty outside again.

Stay safe!

 

[logbutcher]

Man, there are some snorting some powerful stuff here.opcorn:

The next cord discussion will be a GTG @ the Bangor Mall Vicoria's Secret. Kindly RSVP.:monkey:

 

[laser]

I was going to say that this thread is going downhill, but I think it started at the bottom, sooo...

Is this what happens on rainy days?

 

[TreePointer]

Bangor?

I hardly know her.

 

[woodbooga]

Bangor?

I hardly know her.

Good point.

logbutcher, consider a change of venue - perhaps Beaver Cove.

 

[giXXer]

OOOOHHHH NO YOU DIDN'T!!!!:jawdrop:

That may be The best one yet.!

Wood volume paralells to Bra sizes with known modifiers....

LOL!!!!

Poorly stacked Cord= a Rosanne Barr D cup?
Tightly stacked Cord of hardwood= Jennifer Love Hewitt D cup?
Tightly stacked cord of Sasafrass or poplar=Pam Anderson(Looks nice but is fake in value) D cup?

Poorly stacked Rick of pine= Paris Hilton A cup?
Tightlly stacked Rick of hardwood= Mila Jojovich A cup?

No squirrels, Cats, or regional influences, and all us guys can accurately communicate the matter with no cornfusion.

Thoughts?

Yep. It's nasty outside again.

Stay safe!

Holy derailed thread, but funny stuff. I'm surprised that no one is complaining about how off-topic this is, but then again...does "boob humor" ever get old?

Since the word "wood" has a couple of meanings I have never ever seen it used in the same sentence as Roseanne Barr. However, "poorly stacked wood" does fit!