Who is 'that guy' brother, you speak of?
YOU!
No, just kidding, I meant the " ape man".
But ooof! I am set up for crazy tomorrow. I had given a proposal to a guy down in the borough to remove a crusty dead little spruce tree over a couple fences and next to the cold, bare triplex wires. I didn't tell him so but I gave him a rock bottom price. I didn't give that price just so I would get the job, it was demographics.
Even so I knew I could do it in about 3.5 to 4 hours by myself. That translates to 350 to 400 dollars American written on the proposal.
I go down there today to measure the gate to see if I can get the ball cart in there to get the logs out and run into his wife. Need I say more? Allow me to proceed:
Well the first thing she does is allow her dog to jump right into my crotch leaving it all wet and muddy. Then she says, verbatim, " We are saving for a new kitchen, will it be cheaper if you left all the side stuff?"
I said, " The branches, do you mean the branches?"
She said, " All the stuff coming out the side."
I said, " Which side?"
She said, " All that stuff coming out the side."
I said, " The branches, do you mean the branches?"
She said, " We have a fire pit."
I had enough and not only was I getting annoyed by this conversation but also because of the clamey feeling on my balls.
Now you might be thinking, " I don't see the problem" , don't worry, I will tell you.
Oh boy, wouldn't it just be great to leave a pile of dead spruce limbs in the back of a downtown yard? What you think will happen? I get asked to move them? Cut them up? Be badmouthed for leaving such a mess? Yes. Would any of that be easier for me? No, not in the slightest.
And what does this lady saving for a new kitchen have anything to do with me? Why does she even have to bring that up? To make me feel compelled to lower my price is why.
I told her that I GUESSED that if I left all the branches where they fell and do everything else it would be 350 but wasn't sure. She did NOT like that! No. She is starting to look at me like I am some kind of crazy ape man and I am starting to feel like proving it.
She said, " That is not any cheaper!"
I made a hasty exit while she was drilling into me with her eyeballs. Her husband said he would be home on Mon, Tues and Wed. I said I would do the job on Thursday, I was not planning on his wife being there which she said she would be. OH JOY!
I drove around doing stuff for 20 minutes wanting to strangle somebody cause my balls were damp, cold and violated.
I was going to do this job by myself but I called Vargo to run interference for me tomorrow. Vargo has one tattoo and its on the inside of his left wrist. It is the letters DGSI which stands for DON'T GET SUCKED IN. Once I asked him why he had it, he said, " Women."
What I am saying is that if you say that some ape man wrecked yer yard and made some lude comments while you are yammering about how good you look, posting pictures of yourself and talking about things which do not pertain to the job at hand, well, uh, um that must make me a demented, paranoid, woman hating rapist.
At this time I would like to greatly thank the staff at Arboristsitedotcom, I am pretty sure you know why.